“I know,” I muttered, entering my bathroom.
His cheerfulness was addicting, and I couldn’t fault him for his excitement.
The male went through life flirting and testing others’ boundaries. Qran and Z had a unique relationship, for Z understood his personality. After a few stressful days, it was natural for him to crack jokes and tease others, especially since we were both between missions at the moment.
Until we were assigned another job, we were free to do whatever we wanted—including each other—as long as we didn’t draw trouble or unwanted attention that could impede future missions or harm Z’s image.
I caught a glance at my reflection in the mirror and cringed.
I couldn’t believe I had answered Z looking like a creature had decided to make the top of my head its new home.
Sighing, I opened a drawer and reached for my healing lotion, only to hesitate when I found bare space where the rest of my salves and ointments usually sat.
“Kaede,” I hissed. He was the only one who would steal my stuff without asking or replacing it. My sisters were aware of the importance of our medical equipment and how hard it was to resupply between missions.
I grabbed the cream Qran needed and slammed the drawer shut, whirling around only to smack into Qran’s chest.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I wanted to make sure you weren’t still angry with me, and whether there was anything I could do to fix . . . everything.”
I rolled the bottle in my hands, unsure how to continue.
Sighing, I pressed the lotion to his chest, leading him out of the room. We might as well talk through our relationship this morning so we could present a united front when I paged Z.
“Let’s get this conversation over with,” I sighed. “Go freshen up. I will meet you in your room when I’m ready to spread this healing lotion on your back. Hopefully, it will moisturize your skin and help coax your feathers into growing.”
Qran nodded. “Thank you, B.”
Why was I so nervous?
I was standing in front of his door, looking pathetically unsure of how to tell him about my sisters and my secret. He had just come back into my life, and I didn’t want to risk losing him again, especially if it could be forever.
Oeta had been right—I couldn’t avoid him forever. Did I want to continue along this path, holding Qran at a distance, afraid of pursuing our relationship any further?
I didn’t want to live in regret like my brother because I wasn’t brave enough to take a chance. Life wasn’t made of equations and outcomes. I could carefully plan out every aspect of every situation, but there would always be one unknown that I hadn’t expected.
Qran was my unknown.
My future would come with or without him. Deep down, I wasn’t sure if he was genuinely ready to commit to me and all my flaws.
I knocked on the door and instantly started fidgeting with my feather crown, hoping I looked presentable for what was to come.
The door slid open, revealing Qran, wearing a sheepish smile as his eyes traced the length of my body. His gaze heated every inch it passed, leaving me smoldering from within.
“You are simply the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen.”
Balling my hands into fists, I battled the sudden wave of nerves that coursed through me.
“May I come in?”
He cocked his head to the side as if my question confused him.
“It’s your base. I’m only a guest,” he replied. “How could I deny you access to a room that isn’t mine? We both know if you wanted to enter, you could override the systems and walk in without trouble.”
“That may be true, but I’ve offered you this room for your stay. It would be inconsiderate to intrude.” I walked past him through the doorway and spun to face him. “Just because I have all the power doesn’t mean I’ll abuse it.”
“I didn’t say you would,” he countered, stepping closer to me. “But I also know that of the two of us, you wield all the power and then some.”
I rolled my eyes. “My AI doesn’t make me invincible, and you know that.”
“But it helps.”
“It does have perks,” I smirked. “Now, can we talk? I have a promise that I need to fulfill. Oeta told me I would regret it otherwise.”
“She said the same to me,” he chuckled, picking up the lotion I’d given him and inspecting the bottle as if it was the most interesting thing in the room.
So he was as uncomfortable as I was with serious conversations about personal matters like relationships.
I sat on his bed and studied my clasped hands, not knowing how to begin. Closing my eyes, I cringed. “I can’t have offspring.”
“What?”
Peeking through my lids, I watched him stand frozen, staring at me in shock.
“I. Can’t. Have. Offspring. At least, not naturally. Kaica believes that Kaede might be able to if he ever decided to try, but my sisters and I are infertile.”
Qran slowly walked over and knelt before me, grasping my knees as his gaze locked with mine.
“Is that the secret you’ve been keeping from me all of this time?”
Nodding, I fought back my tears. “Kaica has been trying to design a serum that would allow us to if we ever decided to settle down and have a family once the galaxy stops trying to fight against Z.”
“But how are you unable to reproduce when Selena is . . . fully capable of doing so. The six of you are from the same generation of demi-humans.”
“While that may be true, we were part of two different projects. My siblings and I were designed to kill anything presented to us, and that included invasive matter in our bodies.”
“Including sperm,” he murmured, nodding. “That makes sense.”
“The nanobots within Selena’s body were designed to absorb sperm cells and alter her eggs to
