“Is it safe to come in?” I called to get his attention, hands on my hips.
He turned, his mouth open in shock. He simply stared for a moment before shaking his head to clear some thought.
“Yes... let me come get you.”
I watched as he dove, reappearing a few seconds later a short distance in front of me. He stood, wrapping his tentacles back around his torso as he approached.
“I am not going to let you go deeper than your chest, not without knowing how to swim. That would be irresponsible, especially in your condition,” Odelm scowled. “I still cannot believe Master Scholar Xylo is not by your side where he belongs. He clearly does not value what he has if he is so cavalier with your safety. A bonded male always remains at his nestqueen’s side.”
I stepped closer, my feet splashing in the water. Tilting my head up, I looked into his light green eyes with fury... and shoved him.
Odelm stumbled backward, his tentacles unwinding to flail in the air as he regained his balance. He crouched warily as if preparing to defend himself from me.
“Let’s get this straight. I wanted to get to know you and maybe one day become friends, but I guess I was wrong to believe you wanted the same. I get you distrust females, that there’s some history I’m unaware of. Whether you ever want to tell me is up to you, but don’t judge me based solely on that. I am not them,” I said, my voice steadily growing in volume as my anger grew. “And don’t denigrate Xylo. He has a job, and from what I can tell, loves it. I refuse to take him away from it just because I accidentally court-bonded with him. When we figure out whether to make our bond permanent, how we live and how much time we spend apart for work can be decided, but I am not ever going to be the reason he stops. Most importantly, whatever’s between Xylo and me is between us. Got it? It’s none of your business. He trusted me enough to give me freedom I’ve never had. To let me roam the ship by myself. To make my own decisions. He is this ship’s Master Scholar, so you should trust he is capable of evaluating the situation.”
He just stood there watching me, shocked.
I was sick and tired of the sly remarks about how I shouldn’t be alone and how Xylo should remain by my side. It was kind of him to care for my safety—though given his feelings about females, I didn’t think it had anything to do with me specifically—but his attitude needed to change.
“A friend”—he laughed derisively—“with a female?”
“Yeah. Why is that so hard to believe?”
“I am a severed male. Once rejected, females do not want anything to do with a severed male. Why would they want a male who had been deemed not good enough for another female’s nest? Unbonded males cannot understand how it feels to be court-bonded and to have it severed. A bonded male's life revolves around their nestqueen. Sure, everyone on the ship works together efficiently. But socially? I am an outcast. There are a number of severed males on this ship, yet we are all alone. That phantom ache from the severed bond—” He cut himself off, voice pained. His eyes bored into mine, a plea in their depths.
“Want to know something? I was an outcast too. An experiment not worthy of anyone’s time or attention, always separate. I still am. I’m the only one of my kind, thrust among vastly different species I am struggling to understand. Believe me, I understand what you’re saying. I may not know how being severed feels, but I can empathize. Feeling the difference my newly formed courting bond with Xylo makes—though I don’t fully understand everything about it—I can imagine how devastating it would be if it were severed. It gives me comfort.”
Embarrassed by my rant—how much I had inadvertently revealed—I looked down at my feet and rocked back and forth in the sand.
Silence fell between us as I watched the water lapping against my feet. I wasn’t sure what had possessed me to spill my feelings to him, but now that I had, I hoped it had cleared the air, and we could start again. Glancing up, I kicked water at him and smirked, trying to lighten the mood.
“Look. Can we start over? You brought me here to teach me how to swim. Can we?”
His eyes roamed my body before he settled his gaze on mine.
“I am not going to lie and say I understand you. You are a strange female. But if learning how to swim is what you want, I shall teach you.”
Chapter Fourteen Xylo
“Let’s get this straight. I wanted to get to know you and maybe one day become friends, but I guess I was wrong to believe you wanted the same. I get you distrust females, that there’s some history I’m unaware of. Whether you ever want to tell me is up to you, but don’t judge me based solely on that. I am not them. And don’t denigrate Xylo. He has a job, and from what I can tell, loves it. I refuse to take him away from it just because I accidentally court-bonded with him. When we figure out whether to make our bond permanent, how we live and how much time we spend apart for work can be decided, but I am not ever going to be the reason he stops. But most importantly, whatever’s between Xylo and me is between us. Got it?
