Yet, I knew I was not ready to take another nestmate. And based on the looks of relief all five of the Circuli in the room had tried to hide, I didn’t think they were ready to volunteer either. That left Kaede as the only option. But our volatile relationship... no way was I willing to make any commitment to him. Shit, I didn’t even know if whatever species he was formed any sort of permanent bond.
“Kaede. I don’t want to ruin the friendship we have begun to build.” I hissed, feeling another contraction about to start. “And I will not be forced to take another nestmate—or husband, mate, whatever your species might call a permanent partner—on the off chance it might make this easier on me.”
I groaned as the pain swept me under.
As I came back to myself, Xylo was there with my tea and a cooling cloth as Odelm stroked my hair, vibrating soothingly.
I whispered, after taking a sip of tea, “However, I will consider the option to help my cubs. If the lack of progress in my labor—and this ishing awful pain—could possibly indicate danger to them, I’m willing to consider anything.”
Kaede leaned forward, about to answer, when I held up a hand.
“Hang on. I’m not making this decision in a vacuum. I need to first discuss it with my nestmates.”
A surprised look passed between the princes, and Chyox simply looked shocked. I angled my head so I could see both Odelm and Xylo’s faces.
“What do you think? I’m willing to try this—shit, I’m willing to try just about anything to save our cubs—but I’m not ready for another male. Not with these cubs about to be born and all the uncertainty surrounding our imminent arrival at CEG HQ.”
Another contraction hit me as I took a breath to continue. I grunted in frustration. They were definitely getting stronger and coming faster. Odelm worked my neck with his magical fingers, trying to pull my attention from my pain to him. Xylo stroked my hair, his face worried. Tears dripped from the corners of my tightly closed eyes as I focused on taking deep breaths. As the contraction started to fade, I pulled once more on the golden threads that connected me to my nestmates.
“But you both are as important to me as our cubs are. I don’t want to do this if accepting his help will hurt our bond or our clan—our family.”
“I did not bring this up because I did not want to force this choice on you or anyone else. Kaede’s volunteering might solve part of it—we will have to see what he says. But this choice is yours, Selena. I will support you no matter what. If you decide to add Kaede to our clan—now or later—that is your decision. I am yours regardless,” Xylo’s deep mental voice said.
“I agree that adding another male at this time would add undue stress—nor do I wish you forced to the decision. As much as I wish I could be the one to aid you in this, I know I cannot. This may not be our way, we do not copulate outside of a bond. But if Kaede doing so might make your labor easier and prevent harm to our cubs, then I am for it. Search your heart. Only you can make this decision. Whatever you choose... I, too, will support you fully,” Odelm calmly added.
I sighed. Of course, they would leave the choice up to me.
I was glad that my nestmates understood and would support me, that there would be no resentment or jealousy. But the idea still made me feel guilty for considering it.
I turned back to Kaede. “I would prefer we agree this is a one-time deal. No commitments. Is that possible? I know nothing about your species or mating habits.”
Kaede nodded. “It is possible. I will not force you to take me as a mate.”
Xylo headed back over to the knot of healers as I breathed through yet another series of contractions. When it eased, I kept my eyes closed a moment longer as I tried to summon the courage to do this.
Opening my eyes, I looked at Kaede and whispered, “Okay.”
I couldn’t believe I was really considering this. No... had agreed to this. What in the Stars was I thinking?
I felt Odelm tighten his arms around me in reassurance and glanced over at Xylo. He nodded at me. He must be keeping track of my inner thoughts while he conversed with his fellow healers. A smile appeared on his face before he turned back to Chyox. Yep. I was right. He was listening—which left a warm feeling inside me, knowing that he remained aware of my needs, even while busy.
“What do we need to do?” I asked quietly.
“Before we start anything... Selena, you can stop this at any time. After you see what I am under my armor, any time you feel uncomfortable, tell me to stop. I will stop, no matter what,” Kaede explained softly.
Odelm squeezed my shoulders in encouragement, and I nodded.
Kaede scanned the other males in the room.
“You will all need to leave,” he commanded. Xylo stiffened, and Kaede added, “Except Xylo and Odelm, of course.”
Xylo protested, “We have no idea how this will go, we will need the assistance! I do not...”
The argument disappeared in another wave of agony. Tears streamed down my face as the pain in my lower back and pelvic area increased, becoming unbearable. I screamed, squeezing my eyes shut as I writhed in Odelm’s arms. I felt like I was going to split in half.
When I came back to myself, the argument had ceased and the princes had vacated the tub, standing against the wall with the healers. Xylo and Kaede stood by the edge of the bath, watching me. When they saw my eyes open and I looked up at them, they nodded to one another.
Xylo went back to his machine as Kaede said in a clipped voice, “I’m holding every
