Mating was a biological need to permanently bond with their nestqueen. After that, the males only had the drive to perform whenever their nestqueen was in heat, which was once every five years or so.
What if I somehow broke Odelm even more than he already was?
“What did I say about having dark thoughts?” Xylo asked, his mental touch caressing me.
“Did I wake you?” I asked, smiling as I snuggled my rear against his waist petals. “What did you hear?”
“Enough to know you are worried about how to handle the princes,” he said, combing my hair with his fingers.
“I feel lost,” I admitted as I leaned my cheek against Odelm’s back, feeling the coolness again my skin. “When will things get easier? Every time I solve something, two more problems replace it.”
“It seems like that, but you have accomplished an impressive number of things in a short period of time.”
“Xylo?”
“Yes?” he answered, stilling his hand in my hair.
“Why did you keep those secrets from me?” I asked, needing to know the answer. I could no longer wait for Odelm to wake up to ask them both. I was afraid of what mental state he would be in when he woke up and having to wait longer to get the answers I sought.
His arm dropped to my waist as silence fell between us, the only sounds coming from those sleeping around us.
“Zirene knew how self-conscious you felt about your differences when you compared yourself to the other females aboard the Yaarkins ship. He planned to protect you from your doubts and explain things as they came. The demi-human community on your moon? He wanted to introduce you to them personally. The Assembly trial? He was worried about you spiraling due to fear and lack of confidence, making you incapable of defending yourself alone. He saw it happen multiple times, and cases go astray, closing with unfair terms.”
“So, he believed having me unprepared would allow me to come out with the best results?”
“Exactly.” Xylo squeezed me tight against him, breathing in my hair. “But you weren’t unprepared. You studied hard and learned enough to understand what you needed to do to fight your own battle. Selena, you were magnificent on the Assembly floor. If I hadn’t been worried about being disconnected from you and not being able to explain everything to you, I would have smiled proudly.”
“You weren’t embarrassed?” I asked, confused. I wanted to turn over to talk to him face to face, but the princes had their appendages wrapped around my legs. I was afraid to wake them, knowing they had a lot of responsibilities—especially with the Destiny settling soon.
“Embarrassed,” Xylo chuckled. “You stood up against those princesses and won your case. You made me proud to be in your clan, first chosen by you.”
“And the princes?” I sighed. “I need to know your thoughts about them joining the clan—political or not. Please don’t hold anything back. I am already worried about Odelm and whether our conversation helped him. I need to know the truth—your concerns and fears—because it wasn’t my plan to hurt either of you.”
“It wasn’t our plan to hurt you either, Selena,” Xylo countered. “I understand your reasoning for accepting the princes. They are respectable males and considered war heroes among the Circuli, even with the minor role they played.” A vine crawled up along my side, its flowered tip pressed against my cheek, pushing my face toward him. Our gazes met as his teal pupilless eyes burned bright, preventing me from looking away. “I will not have any ill feelings when you accept their spores, nor will I doubt our relationship if and when they sire any future offspring of yours. You are my nestqueen. I shall treat them like Odelm—a fellow nestbrother in our clan.”
Tears started to fall at his confession. Xylo replaced his vine with a hand and thumbed my tears away as his eyes dimmed in sorrow.
“I am sorry I never asked you or—”
“Selena, Selena, Selena, don’t cry. I am happy with who and what you are. Nothing will change that. If I sire none of your offspring, I will not feel any less for you. Just being your nestmate is enough for me. You have given me something I never thought I would have… I need nothing else from you.”
I twisted the rest of my body—forgetting about trying not to wake the others—and snuggled up against him, his arms and vines welcoming me.
“Xylo,” I sobbed into his chest, breathing in his sweet herbal scent.
His arms enclosed around me as his vines wrapped around any body part they could reach.
“Selena, I have you,” he whispered into my hair. “You are mine, and nothing you can do will make me let go.”
Chapter Twenty-Two Selena
Our first night sleeping as a mismatched clan went well. The cubs didn’t escape—even though they were the ones who woke up the rest of the room, hungry and needing to relieve themselves.
The princes made it their responsibility to take them to the master bathroom and supervise them before heading to the Royal Commons for breakfast. We finished our meal, and the adults were sitting contently, watching the cubs chase each other around the room.
I snuggled against Xylo’s side as he studied readings off his med-tablet with the princes next to us going over plans on their wristbands. I didn’t bother to try reading what was on their tech. My interest was in the cubs.
Zirene hadn’t shown his face since I slapped him. It was a bittersweet victory I wished hadn’t happened. I wanted him to realize what he did, change his habits, apologize, and grovel at my feet so we could work things out.
My discussion with Xylo this morning made me realize even though I had the right to be angry at him for what he did to me, he was trying to aid me—in his own
