I shot him a playful glare at the sassy attitude he’d gained with his new position. He was already taking charge, and I hadn’t missed the reason why.
Glancing around, I searched for my sensitive musician, following our golden bond thread behind me. A short distance away from the rest of us, he sat in the corner of the nestbed, staring out the wall-to-wall windows.
Whether he was afraid of being forgotten or jealous of Xylo—maybe a combination of the two—he was too lost in his thoughts to notice me crawling over to him.
The male had dealt with so much rejection in his life that his response wasn’t surprising. I planned to correct it. He wasn’t facing the universe alone, no matter how much he felt like it sometimes.
I straddled his lap, making sure to dodge the sharp edges of his waist blades as I crossed my ankles to secure me. Not that I needed to; as soon as my hand touched his cool skin, his eyes snapped to mine, and his tentacles instantly came alive.
Cupping his face, I toyed with his thin, anemone-like hair, rolling strands between my fingers as I stared at my musician in wonder.
“What am I going to do with you?”
“Anything you want,” he whispered, sounding almost like a plea.
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” I shook my head. “It’s the truth, nevertheless. Why do you doubt yourself? Doubt me? Have I failed you somehow?”
He frowned in confusion, placing his hands on my hips. “Of course, you haven’t.”
“Then stop isolating yourself from the clan,” I breathed. “You may not be able to read all my thoughts like your Wudox brethren, but you must know what I’m about to do—”
“I don’t want you to give me the honor unless I’ve earned it!” he fumed. “I understand why Xylo is your Primary—and even though my input isn’t necessary, I fully agree with your choice—but I don’t want you to declare me Second just because I’m here.”
“Because you’re here?” I hissed, gripping his hair in my fist. Kneeling over Odelm, I yanked his hair, earning a gasp and bewildered stare from him. “Just like I was there, prime for the taking? Oh look, a lonely pregnant female with no one to help her. How about I follow her around and convince her she needs someone to take care of her?” I paused, yanking harder as I leaned in until my face hovered just above his. “Sound familiar? Don’t you dare question my feelings for you. I’ve kept my mind and heart open for the four of you to read whenever you want.”
Ignoring the angry red that was swiftly overcoming my loving purple spots, I snapped my gaze to V’dim as I held Odelm in place. “Up until just a few moments ago, what have I felt since the four of you have comforted me—since I made Xylo my Primary?”
V’dim’s mouth opened in shock—either from my reaction to Odelm or from suddenly being put on the spot. I didn’t know or care as long as he replied. “Your aura was nothing but peaceful blues, pleasing violets, and loving purples.”
“That’s what I thought,” I nodded to my confused Ulax prince. “Thank you for your assistance, V’dim.”
Returning my attention to the male in my hands, I stared him down as I kept our connection wide open, no veil in place, to let him feel what I felt.
“I haven’t asked for much since my discovery. What I did ask of you—and the rest of my clan—was open communications and a safe place to love freely. Have I failed you as a nestqueen, Odelm?”
His eyes widened as he shook his head slightly in my grip. “No, you are everything I could have wished for.”
“Then why do you always fight me?” I growled. “Why is it every time I believe we’ve moved forward and you’ve overcome your jealousy, it returns?”
Odelm looked away, through the window he’d been staring out earlier. “I don’t know, Selena.”
“Then figure it out, so I can spend this time healing from Zirene’s sudden disappearance instead of worrying about you.” I sighed, steeling myself for his response. “Do you even want to be my Second?”
“As much as I need water, I do,” he swore. He snapped his gaze to mine so fast he pulled my hand along with his hair, ignoring the accidental tug on his scalp. “There’s nothing I want in this life that you haven’t already granted me. You’ve blessed me by taking me in and claiming me not only as a nestmate but as a Favored—one of the highest honors a Circuli male can receive. I don’t know of any severed males who have gained this status, and now you want to make me your Second? Why? How can I deserve you?”
“Because like Xylo, your Primary and nestbrother, you have been my stability since the beginning.” I licked my lips as I eased my grip. “I know there’s a deep connection between us, something ineffable that has me seeking you out in times of need. Almost instantly, I can tell when you’re trying to calm my worries and extinguish my fears—”
“I do it instinctively, like an addiction. I need to make sure you’re alright,” he breathed, closing his eyes as he shuddered beneath me. “You have become my everything, and it’s hard for me not to think that one day, you might replace me because I’m so damaged by my past.”
“Odelm,” I whispered, giving him a quick peck on the lips. “How can you say that I will replace you? Even if someday I end up filling all my rooms, you are still you, and what we share won’t change. You know exactly how much I hate change, yet the universe seems committed to constantly transforming my life. I am not going to take away your title or position just because I meet someone new, and it hurts that you think so little of me—”
“I’m sorry, Selena,” Odelm plead. “That wasn’t my intention.”
“Wasn’t it?” I hissed.
