One by one, I tried each of the dishes with a glass prepared in case I needed to wash out my mouth again. One by one, he took the foods I didn’t like with no questions asked.
Once the table was cleared and the dishes were placed in the dishwasher, we returned to our seats for some drinks.
“I hope you enjoyed dinner.” Zyxel’s voice lost its earlier confidence.
“It was fun,” I replied, giving him a small smile. “I enjoyed tasting all the different dishes, even though I still feel guilty about eating part of your rations.”
“It was a small sacrifice compared to what you have given this base,” he muttered, watching me closely with his fiery, slitted eyes. “Now that you have done what Commander Xenak has asked, when are you planning on leaving?”
I didn’t know if Tori’s clan had told him about Kaede or if he were genuinely wondering when I would return home. I wasn’t going to tell him if he didn’t already know. The fewer people who expected Kaede’s arrival, the better.
“As soon as possible,” I replied. “Auro said someone owed him a favor and he could probably arrange me a ride home.”
“Who are you at home?” His gaze traced my figure. “I’ve been told and overheard many things.”
“Why does it matter?” I tilted my head to the side and narrowed my eyes. “I don’t need to tell you anything.”
“Because I’ve been wondering if you’ve been avoiding me because of my low status or something,” he explained, smiling with his fangs sticking out. “But Xenak confirmed that wasn’t the case.”
I jerked to my feet, knocking the chair onto its back behind me. Zyxel straightened in alarm, his sly smirk replaced by shock.
“I was avoiding you because your face reminds me of someone I care about. When you get close to me, you confuse my instincts. I miss my clan, my children, my friends, and my coworkers. I’m used to seeking out your lookalike for help, but instead, I have you, a stranger. And you have no boundaries, no understanding that it isn’t okay for you to be so touchy with a patient, which dumbfounds me. Instead of telling you, I planned to ignore the issue and avoid you until I leave, since I’m not planning on ever returning.”
“Maybe you are drawn to me because your body knows that I am your mate,” he challenged, slithering around the table. For every step I retreated, he advanced just as much until my back was against the wall. “I have searched for thousands of years for my mate—my enax. Just as I was about to give up, you crashed into my life as part of my commander’s insane mission.”
“I can’t be your mate,” I muttered, shaking my head. “I don’t believe it.”
Perhaps the reason I had felt so comfortable around him wasn’t that he reminded me of Kaede but because he was destined to be with me. Had the Stars led me here to meet the final piece of my constellation?
What a cruel way to bring someone into my life.
“You may not believe it, but it’s the truth.” He eyed my arms, which were pressed across my stomach as I backed away. “My tail throbs and my scales itch whenever you are close, signaling that my enax is near.” He lifted the end of his tail to show me how his tail threads shimmered and danced with a mind of their own. As if they sensed me, the strands reached toward me, wiggling to and fro and stretching as far as they could. “You’re the one I’ve been searching for all my life, and I won’t let you go.”
I believed him.
“You can’t,” I breathed, shaking my head as tears started to form. “We can’t.”
“Why can’t we?” He frowned, determination clear in his eyes. “What have I done to offend you? I’ve done everything Tori told her mates about courting females. I took notes to give to other mates of humans to give them some sense of your species’ courtship customs. What did I do wrong?”
Oh, Stars… it all made sense.
This was a date to him. After he had put so much work into it, I had rejected him.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” I replied, trying to comfort him the best that I could. “This is just the wrong place and time.”
“How?” he demanded. “How could that be? Why would the Stars lead you to me?”
“Sometimes the Stars make mistakes.”
“That can’t be true. The Stars are never wrong. Something else must be wrong.” He shook his head, pacing in front of me. “Is it because you don’t think I can take care of you? Because I don’t have a home for you to nest in or a way to keep our eggs warm? I am willing to watch the nest and be your caretaker if that is the case.”
“I don’t think you understand,” I cried, wiping at my tears. “Even if I felt a connection between us, it wouldn’t matter. I don’t know you. I don’t need a new mate; I need the ones I have, and I only want the ones I have. They are at home dying while I am here against my will. How can I accept any more mates when the ones I have are so far away?
“I’m sorry, but we just can’t. I’m not ready to entertain the idea of taking on more mates, especially someone I hardly know. Once I return home and make sure my loved ones are all safe and healthy, I may reconsider, but not right now. There’s no way for us to happen now.”
“Now that I’ve finally found you, you don’t want me?” he mumbled, the hurt evident in his voice. “What am I supposed to do?
“I don’t know.” I opened my arms in surrender and shrugged. “I’m just asking you to wait.”
“All isn’t lost, then.” He stilled and peered at me,
