“Even though those vidfeeds made me feel such intense emotion, I still want them on my wall because they remind me of my family and how much I miss and love them.” Closing my eyes, I pressed my lips gently to his and sighed. “Maybe one day soon, you will place a recording of us on that wall for both of us to reminisce.”
Chapter Thirty-Two Selena
Dressed in his new living suit, Kaede led me to the galley with his arm around my waist. With his head held high, my guard swaggered with new confidence. Even though he had left his visor behind in our shared room, he didn’t appear any less lethal. His long, blue-tinted black hair was so thick, it fell in a hood-like cape around him, and, paired with his curved horns and fangs, made his glowing slitted eyes seem that much more powerful.
He looked like a changed man.
This lethal male was now mine—loyal to me—even though his neck lacked my claiming mark. Something about that thought made my chest swell. We didn’t have to fight our natural connection anymore.
Now that we were together, there were no longer boundaries he couldn’t cross as my guard. Zirene needed time to view him as a nestbrother like the others and get over whatever had transpired between them, but I was glad that he had accepted Kaede as my mate.
My clan knew how much I hated secrets, jealousy, and infighting. They disliked those things just as much. So, while I didn’t expect them to agree on everything, my clan members suppressing their thoughts and concerns wouldn’t solve anything, either. Emotions and tensions were running high. I didn’t believe Zirene would welcome a sixth mate, but I refused to hide the news from him. He deserved the same clarity that I expected from my entire clan.
Taking Kaede in as a mate had felt natural, like our connection truly was cosmic like he claimed, and we were the stars within the same constellation trying to find our place.
Once we arrived on Destima, my clan would need time to heal, both physically and emotionally. If my Circuli mates could not reach out to me, they must be severely injured or weakened. No matter how many times Zirene and Kaede reassured me they were stable, I knew Circuli males couldn’t be away from their nestqueens for an extended period.
There was no way I would allow my clanmates out of my sight any longer than necessary—not after everything we had been through. I would become the support they needed to heal, and together, we would push forward.
Everything about this journey had changed me and my relationships. It had forced me to depend on myself to survive. I needed to learn to stop leaning on my mates so much and become strong enough for them to rely on me.
That was the unbalance within my clan.
They gave, and I took.
I needed to reciprocate from time to time, above and beyond my role as the clan’s nestqueen.
If I wanted to be the Aldawi Beacon in more than the title alone and rule alongside Zirene, I couldn’t hide on Destima. I needed to become a better leader and a stronger person. Spiraling into depression wouldn’t fix anything.
I could continue being upset and stressed about my mates’ unknown condition, but I couldn’t allow those fears to rule over me.
Out of all my mates, Kaede was the bluntest and would always be the one to push me to improve. His honesty was what I needed to hear—even if I didn’t like it. I could see that he had been right this whole time and hoped he wouldn’t treat me more carefully because we were now together.
For a male who lacked a special telepathic connection with me, he nonetheless knew me the best. It was as if that distance had forced him to study me intensely to become a better guard and rival his clanmates when he joined my clan.
When I halted outside the galley’s doors, Kaede turned to me with questioning eyes.
“Kaede, I want you to promise me something.”
“What is it?” His gaze flicked toward the doors, then he scanned my body as his brow drew down in thought. “Is something the matter? Do I need to kill someone?”
Rolling my eyes, I shook my head. This male would always be on the defense even when no threats were present. Pressing my hands to his chest, I leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss.
“I don’t need anyone killed.” I chuckled, playing with a few strands of his hair as he stared at me, confused. “I just want you to promise me something that I believe only you can do.”
“Tell me,” he urged. “I will do my best to comply.”
“Don’t go easy on me now that we are together,” I ordered, my voice hard and without its usual mirth. “I need you to push me to grow into a stronger person and a better nestqueen for our clan. I want to lead Destima and rule alongside Zirene as his equal. I want to become an exceptional mother for my children to admire. But I can’t do that if everyone is treating me like some fragile, unstable female incapable of doing anything for myself.”
“I’ll do it under one condition,” Kaede replied, his tone matching the seriousness of my request.
“What condition?”
“Don’t hate me for being hard on you.”
“How can I hate you?” I muttered, tilting my head in confusion. “You’ve angered me many times, but I’ve never hated you for what you’ve done.”
“In my nine years in civilization, you have been out of our old masters’ hands for almost four months, and you spent about half that time unconscious.” He
