Then again, things are fucking weird right now. I expected to spend the day after Christmas in my pajamas all day, eating chocolate, drinking spiked coffee, and crying over Jay, not dressed in Buffy cosplay, standing outside a haunted house and portal to hell, on a rescue mission to get a long-lost friend from the Veil. Not to mention my sister is currently possessed by her husband. Literally.
I suppose I should be happy for the distraction though. The last six weeks since Jay left have been absolute torture for me, full-flung emotional carnage. I’ve cried so hard that even my most waterproof mascara decided to give in, black rivers etched into my face like a canyon of doom. I’ve succumbed to every single broken-hearted cliché that you’ve seen in the movies, from staying in my pajamas all day, to eating ice cream straight from the pint, to watching romantic comedies and bawling my eyes out. My poor dad didn’t know how to handle me other than turning a blind eye whenever I took some of his red wine. And that was every night.
It wasn’t until the other day when Perry pulled me aside and told me that she needed my help that I actually felt useful for once. Like I had purpose. And to be honest, it felt extra good to be needed by her.
You see, I’ve been a bit of a brat lately. Or maybe a lot of a brat. I don’t have much to blame it on, other than the fact that Jay leaving me was totally out of left field and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I still don’t, to be honest. I didn’t tell Perry that we broke up because she and Dex are so damn happy all the time, or at least that’s what it seems like to me. I didn’t want her to look down on me or feel pity. I wanted to seem strong and in control, even though everything inside me was slowly crumbling away.
So I took a lot of it out on Perry. She wanted to talk about what happened, but I pushed her away. I got mean. And so, I’d been grappling with the guilt over that as well as the emotional suckage that Jay put me through.
I figured doing this, tonight, would make up for the fact that I was a less than desirable sister.
And what is this exactly?
To be honest, I’m not sure.
But let me try to get you up to speed before we go into the house of horrors.
So, years ago, Perry and Dex had this frenemy named Maximus, a six-foot-four, broad-shouldered, barrel-chested handsome redhead (yes, they exist) with the most amazing hair (no surprise they called him Ginger Elvis, amongst other less mature nicknames). The three of them had a complicated relationship from all angles. They weren’t like a “throuple” or anything like that (at least, ew, I hope not), but Maximus was Dex’s friend from way back, then when Dex and Perry had a falling out, Max slept with Perry. Perry was possessed at the time (long story), and Max turned out to be a major douchecanoe because he kind of turned on Perry and sided with our parents, who wanted Perry to go to a psych ward.
Anyway, Dex and Perry ended up getting back together after that (Dex saved the day by getting a shaman in Idaho to perform an exorcism—told you it was a long story), and Maximus was briefly brought on to be their partner in their ghost-hunting reality show, Experiment In Terror.
At that point, I think they let bygones be bygones (which says a lot since Dex does not forgive easily), and then they found out that Maximus is this supernatural being called a Jacob (the same as my Jay), and that he’d fallen in love with a woman named Rose and gave up his Jacob role and immortality to be with her and it didn’t work out. How is that for a bummer?
Anyway, this is where things get really heavy, something I don’t like to think about too often for a number of reasons but…
Three years ago, my mother died in New York City. She died saving me. And shortly before that, Maximus died, both of them by the demon named Michael. Since Maximus was no longer immortal, Michael dragged him to Hell.
He also did the same to my mother, by the way. But just over a year ago, I discovered I had the ability to open and close portals to the Veil, to Hell, and either throw things in or drag them out.
I was able to rescue my mother. She’s still dead, unfortunately, but she’s at peace, with my grandmother Pippa, and no longer suffering. Well…actually there’s more to that, but I’ll have to touch on that later.
Maximus on the other hand, I didn’t think that rescuing him was in the cards. No one even brought it up until Perry mentioned that they’d found Maximus in this haunted house here in Seattle. Somehow he’d gotten to the thinnest part of the Veil, and Jacob (who is like my guardian and trainer now that Jay is gone) said it was possible for someone to pull him through. Perry thought she could do it, but she couldn’t. Then she mentioned me to Jacob, and he was adamant I wouldn’t be able to.
But I knew I could.
So when Perry asked, I jumped at the opportunity to help.
Okay, so maybe I don’t know for sure if I can help him, but I’m going to try my best.
Whew. I think that’s most of it.
Right now, I’m standing on the sidewalk outside the haunted house, with Perry (and Dex, who is both unconscious in the passenger seat of their Highlander and also inside Perry at the same time), and a Lexus has just parked in front of us.
A
