Maggie laughed. “I figured he was. He didn’t come right out and say it, but he told me about her eye infection, and the way he talked, I could tell he’d spent a lot of time with her.”
“He’s in love with her. Were you aware of that?”
“Yes. I knew when he took that abrupt fishing trip. I told him he had to get a handle on the situation. He could jeopardize Gini’s recovery if he couldn’t think straight. I was glad when he turned her case over to John. That was the right and professional move on his part. And you, Ms. Pierce. I believe she stole your heart, as well.”
“Guilty as charged. But doesn’t everyone who meets Gini fall in love with her?”
“I figured you’d be warming my chair when she was put into a facility. But I should have known the great Debbie Pierce would have a plan.”
“Plan? Ha. It was all circumstances. Things just kept falling back to me. I had no idea and certainly no plan to end up being her guardian. Best thing that ever happened to me. Now, I have purpose in my life.”
Ric finally decided he had to overcome his fear. He didn’t want to end up like his mother who couldn’t cope with life so hid in a world of fog and loneliness. His mother had been so weak that a change in her life’s path left her hopeless. He had felt the same, hopeless, but he couldn’t stand the depression, always debating if he’d even get out of bed in the morning. That wasn’t Ric. He had loved his life, and he wanted that joy back. Again, his weakness had taken him so far down that he’d overlooked his principles and was sleeping with a woman who meant no more to him than someone to have sex with, to satisfy his manhood. He wasn’t even sure there was any satisfaction in it. He respected Kat more than that, and he was ashamed of himself. That’s why he gave in and got some help. The help he had needed all along.
He figured he’d get a lecture from Debbie on how he wasn’t responsible enough to be with Gini, but she hadn’t said anything, although her expectations were high, and he felt if he faltered or failed again, she’d tell him to leave. He had to try as hard as he could to be a good caregiver because he loved Gini and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. It would not be the life he had once dreamed of, having a family, going to fancy parties and having endless talks. He shivered at the thought of how she would always depend on him to do most everything for her. But he kept going back to Debbie’s statement that even though she had been trained to do that kind of work, it was hard for her at first. Each time he doubted that he had it in him, he looked at Debbie.
And he also had to come to grips with the fact that Debbie was always going to be in his life. She was Gini’s protector. He was well aware that he would never be able to take care of Gini alone; there was no way he could do it by himself. Debbie would keep him on his toes and constantly pressure him to do better.
All of that was going to be new for him. He had been on his own since he was fifteen, no one telling him how to live his life. Could he handle Debbie’s demands, Gini’s dependence? Those would always be a part of his day, and it would always be weighing on his mind whether he could continue doing it. Not to mention facing the world with a disabled wife—the looks, the pity, maybe even disgust. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. He’d have to. He had nowhere else to go, no other life.
He took her a yellow rose and a new poetry book on his next visit. She looked different without the patches. It had been so long since he’d seen her whole face. When he gave her the rose, she smiled her stunning smile and opened her eyes. It did take his breath away when he saw them; he was thankful that Robert had warned him. The lighter blue made them look mysterious but still just as beautiful, as Robert had told him.
She constantly signed about the gardens and the boats and the seagulls squawking. Of course, it all had to be translated by Debbie. Another thing he had to make himself learn: braille cards and sign language. Why couldn’t she just talk, telling him about her fight for the children? That so articulate, intelligent Gini, her rapid-fire arguments and passion... how he missed her. But he’d settle for less than that, for just a simple conversation that he could understand without having to puzzle out what she was trying to say. Everything was so broken, and he couldn’t fix it. Why couldn’t he fix it?
Each time he went home after being with Gini, he was exhausted, feeling like he had put in hours of hard labor. He sat on his couch and relaxed. Then it hit him: his frustrations, his questions—Gini must have the same. She must know she wasn’t right, and that had to frustrate her, although she never dwelled on her disabilities. She couldn’t walk away from it and take a breather as he could. How painful it must be for her, knowing she wasn’t a whole person any longer, her
