“Deb, I’m so sorry for the way I acted today. I don’t know what came over me.”
“Fear, pure fear,” she said in her firm tone.
“Yes, I am fearful, but I could have handled it in a much saner way.”
“You were pretty scary.” She turned and looked at him out of the corner of her eye, then started laughing. He chuckled.
“I totally get how you feel,” she said. “It’s a big unknown. But I’m excited, as well. I love holding little Timmy, and now we’re going to have a sweet baby in our house.”
Robert let out a long breath. “Yeah… scary.”
Chapter 4—Moving On
After the big news about Robert and Gini becoming parents, Gini was having no problems, and the only issue Debbie had to deal with was keeping enough food prepared for Gini’s constant hunger pangs. Gini’s baby bump was dramatically visible within a few weeks.
Robert had come to terms with becoming a dad, although they still didn’t know the sex for sure—except Gini, who never wavered in her belief that it was a girl. Debbie hoped she wouldn’t be disappointed if it turned out to be a boy. Robert didn’t really care as long as the baby and Gini came through the whole ordeal healthy.
Lisa was at the condo a lot, preparing Gini for motherhood and helping Debbie look up online what newborns would need immediately. Lisa shared that she and Lenny had had no idea what they were doing and ended up taking several emergency runs to get needed items. Debbie marveled at how much more mature Lisa had become since she’d had a family—motherhood brought out more of her loving and caring sweetness. And Debbie could see a new confidence in her. Lisa’s actions were those of a mother with other children. She had showed Debbie how to bundle the baby, tie him to her body with a wrap baby carrier, and how to rub Timmy’s back, while he was on his stomach in her lap, to get a gentle burp. Debbie found herself often staring at Lisa when she was breastfeeding or rocking her sweet son to sleep. He could have been the baby they shared together if things had happened differently.
There was a soft pillow-type device—similar to a donut shape—made for children to hold their new brother or sister safely. Lisa brought one for Gini to try to hold Timmy. Gini’s eyes opened wide and glistened when they put Timmy comfortably in her lap. She ran her hand softly on his face and leaned over and kissed him. Debbie smiled. She knew Gini was going to be able to hold her own child with no problems.
Gini couldn’t believe she was holding a baby. Her heart was pounding with joy. The weight of the child, the scent, the movement of the little body… all of it was familiar and yet brand new.
It was difficult for her to keep many thoughts in her head at a time, and it seemed she didn’t know about a lot of things. But there were memories and things that she knew, and they would always be with her. She didn’t remember if she’d ever held a baby before, but she remembered her love for Robert and Debbie and knowing there was a baby growing inside her. It was as if the tiny morsel was already communicating with Gini the very morning after she was conceived. And Gini would never forget how frustrated she had been trying to tell Robert about Jessica. She tried for a couple of days to form the words in her mouth as she thought them. But they would never come out right, always broken and sounding wrong. Debbie constantly told her not to be frustrated—she bet Debbie would be upset if she couldn’t talk right. The parasailing and the lovemaking would always stay with her, but she knew there were other things she had not remembered—not the accident everyone talked about, not living in the condo before, and not much about the two men, Franco and Ric. She recalled Ric reading to her—and being sad—but her recollection of Franco was fading daily. She didn’t really understand how he was a part of her life. That’s why every night when she went to bed she tried to press into memory what she wanted to remember. But the next morning, her mind was a clean slate, and she had to concentrate to figure out how to get out of bed and where and who she was. Almost immediately she remembered Debbie and Robert, and as the day went on, more things came into her head, usually triggered by something that was said or what she smelled.
It had been another long day for Robert. All he wanted was to be with Gini. But he was committed to his doctor’s oath and was compelled to do the job. Luckily, he got home in time to spend an hour or so with Gini. She insisted they play braille cards. He wasn’t sure why he played with her—she always won. Maybe it was the joy in her face, her amazing smile, and the flicker in her eyes each time she won, like it was her first.
The last few times he’d been home in time to take her to bed, he ended up falling asleep next to her fully dressed. He didn’t want to do that tonight. He needed to talk to Debbie.
“Robert, why aren’t you in bed sleeping?” Debbie said when he reappeared from the bedroom.
“I need to talk to you.”
“About?”
He took in a weary breath and let it out slowly, then sat back comfortably on the couch. “I want to move back to New Haven. The commute here is really getting to me, and the long days.”
“Maybe you should cut your hours!”
One thing Robert always loved about Debbie was her directness. There was never any
