She looked up at Kensy, finally feeling warm, and took the cup. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb your day. I just wanted to walk, and I didn’t realize I was here in town.” Debbie put her head down. “Kens, I think I’m in trouble. I can’t find my life anymore.” She looked back up. “I’m lost.”
Debbie started to get up. “I shouldn’t be here.”
“This is exactly where you should be. Sit. You were led here for a reason. Let me just tie up a few ends, and we’ll get out of here.”
Kensy was a very attractive woman, with dreamy chocolate-brown eyes and beautiful wavy black hair—dark-skinned from her mixed-race parents. She had impeccable taste and a real flair for colors and interior design. Her business was prosperous, and she was admired by the town’s business professionals.
Debbie had never heard anyone mention that Kensy was gay, although Debbie figured everyone knew she was. But when she thought back to her conversation with Robert after she first met her, she remembered he didn’t know. Could Kensy purposely be keeping it quiet for professional reasons? Was it so important that such a fact must be recognized? Maybe a person’s sexual preference wasn’t such a big deal.
But that was who Debbie was, a lesbian trying to fit into a heterosexual world. She had no idea what it would feel like being attracted to a man. If she was normal, would she have fallen in love with Robert? He seemed to be what a smart woman would want in a mate. And even though she did love Robert, the thought of making love with him or kissing never entered her mind. He had seen her naked body when she was so sick, and that didn’t bother her, nor did it seem to bother him. How could a man and woman be so close and not have a sexual bond? And yet she could live with Robert the rest of her life and be completely content.
“Okay, I’m ready. Where do you want to go?” Kensy had on a long wool coat and fur hat that beautifully set off her face. She pulled on dark leather gloves and then held her hand out to Debbie.
“I think I should just go home.”
“Nope!”
Kensy pulled Debbie up out of the chair, put her arm around her, and they walked through the store, out the front door, and down the street to Kensy’s condo.
“Give me your coat,” Kensy said, taking a hanger out of the closet. “Drink?”
“What do you have?”
“Just about anything.”
“Bourbon?”
“Now, that’s my kind of woman. Of course, and only the best for the best.”
“The best at what?” Debbie said, lowering her head.
“I’m talking about you.”
“Not true.”
“Debbie Pierce, fearless, giving, strong, willing to stop her life over and over again to take care of someone in need, selflessly.”
“I’ve been called a junkyard dog.”
“By whom?”
“A man. He said it was said with respect.”
“Of course he did. Men.”
“I couldn’t help Micky.”
“But you took her hand and eased her journey to a better place in peace. I saw it with my own eyes. That woman adored you and was grateful for your love.”
Kensy handed Debbie her glass, sat down next to her, and smoothed Debbie’s hair behind her ear.
“We were lovers.”
“I know.” Kensy brushed her hand down Debbie’s cheek.
“But I was selfish and wanted what I wanted and disappointed her. She was already in a great job and wanted me to go to her, but I wanted the job here.”
“Sometimes it just doesn’t work out. I mean, when you’re partners, there’s got to be compromise. If neither of you can make that compromise, then the relationship isn’t that important to either one of you, even though there’s deep love.”
“Or maybe we were just young.”
“Maybe, but do you really think it mattered how old you were?”
“I don’t know. She helped me find myself. I will always love and admire her for that. Do you find men attractive?”
“Yes, I find many men handsome and charming. But never enough to want to check out their package, if you know what I mean.”
Debbie half smiled. She could see Kensy flirting with men just to mess with them.
“And how about you, Dee. Ever—”
“No, never. I don’t even understand if they’re good-looking or not.”
“Okay…” Kensy said, in a kind voice, realizing she’d hit a nerve.
“I haven’t been too lucky in relationships. A complete failure, really.”
“I’m thinking not.”
“Oh yes, just look at Lisa.”
“Lisa? You mean Lisa Jones?”
“She and I were lovers for years.”
“Really? But she’s in a strong marriage.”
“I know. I’m sure I helped her get there, even though she was convinced she was in love with me. And Gini.” Debbie kind of choked on the words. “So wrong, I should have never—”
“Now, Debbie, you told me you and Gini lived together just the two of you for a while. I think you both were willing, right? And she hadn’t met Dr. Young yet.”
“She didn’t know anything about sex then; that was me being selfish again. Robert and I met Gini at the same time. We were her neurological team at the med center. Anyway, both women ran straight to the man of their dreams and are living happily ever after. Lisa finally realized she wasn’t lesbian, and Robert let himself show his love for a patient.”
“Sounds like some Deb pity there.”
“What do you think about Robert? Do you think it’s wrong to live with him?”
“Heck, no. He’s her husband; you’re her nurse.” Kensy giggled a bit. “However, I’ve heard some speculations that the two of you are secretly married.”
“I love Robert—” Debbie stopped abruptly. “I mean he’s a good friend, and I care deeply for him and his family.”
“I understand.”
How could anybody be
