Robert set the full glass on the table and sat back, laying his head on the cushion. The drinks hit him fast since he hadn’t eaten much for two days. It felt good, like his mind had shut down so he didn’t have to think. He didn’t feel the horrible sadness he couldn’t get rid of, and the fear that he’d lost his family forever was subsiding. He sat back up, took one of the warm snacks and ate it, then downed the bourbon once again. Within seconds he jumped up off the couch and ran into the bathroom, just making it before he threw up. He stood over the toilet and gagged and gagged. John had followed him and sat on the guest bed waiting for Robert to come out. When he did, John pulled the covers back, and Robert lay down and fell asleep. John heard him occasionally get up and vomit again.
Vicky went up to see if they needed anything. “Where’s Robert?”
“In the guest room. He’s having a rough time. We need to keep an eye on him.”
After a while, John insisted Robert take a sedative. Once he did, his stomach calmed, and he slept well for a couple of hours.
He did come down for dinner but went right back upstairs and slept.
John stayed home until midmorning Monday to make sure Robert was okay. He’d eaten breakfast, but he was still withdrawn and wouldn’t talk to either of them. That evening there was some conversation, and Robert seemed a little more chipper.
Tuesday John went to work, and Vicky told Robert she was going grocery shopping and would be home in a little while. When she returned, the house was eerily quiet. She looked out front; Robert’s car was gone. She ran to his bedroom; none of his things were there. She quickly called John.
Robert had just started driving, not knowing where he was going. Nor did he care. He ended up on 95 heading north. When he saw a roadside hotel, he pulled off and checked in. He was so lost in his grief he didn’t know what to do or where to go.
Jessica had listened to her father and did as much as she could to help with Robbie. She’d patiently hold him on the big round pillow, kissing him and playing with his fingers. Alyssa helped her to hold the bottle correctly so he could get a good flow out of the nipple. Gini sat on the other side of Jessica telling her what a good job she was doing, that she was the best big sister ever. Jessica looked at her mama and smiled proudly.
Kensy spent a lot of time with Debbie. She pulled together a schedule with some of the church ladies to help at the Young house, mostly so Debbie would rest. Debbie had told her she was in charge of the household—always had been—so it was her responsibility to make sure everything was taken care of. Kensy didn’t like that Debbie had that feeling. It was Robert’s house. He should have never put that burden on Debbie.
By Friday, Debbie was frantic not knowing where Robert had gone. She told John they should call the police. John suggested they give Robert some time to clear his head. If he wasn’t back or in contact with anyone by the following week, they would notify the authorities. John had covered for Robert at the hospital, telling everyone Dr. Young was on paternity leave.
Gini was glad Robert took a fishing trip. She was eager to hear his stories, like how the big one got away and how he danced in the sand with red toenails. And then when he got home they would cook a fish dinner together in the kitchen.
Daniel had invited Alyssa out to dinner. Seeing how tired she was, he wanted her to have a relaxing time. But Alyssa could not leave; it would be too much for Debbie if she was gone. So Daniel brought dinner in for everyone.
Lisa and Lenny came over with their family to help so Alyssa and Daniel could have some alone time. The house was crazy with kids, but it was a fun crazy for Jessica to have her friend Timmy there. Lenny had them out in the backyard racing against each other. Leeanna, Lisa’s daughter, was just learning to walk and jabbered all the time. She’d walk to Debbie and flash a big grin, lunging toward her. It made Debbie laugh seeing the glee in Leeanna’s face and her uneven toothy smile. She’d pick the little girl up, cuddle her close, and give her a quick kiss, then set her back down, turn her toward Lisa, and she’d start her dainty uneven steps back to her mother.
Kensy’s heart felt warm and happy. Robbie was on one side of her in a bouncy seat on the couch, and Gini was sitting next to her on the other side, Kensy holding her hand. Kensy was pleased to see Debbie enjoying herself. She was so loving and caring.
Aly and Daniel went up to the balcony off the game room. She told him everyone was worried about Robert.
He wrapped his arms around her tight. “He’s trying to find his peace.”
She pulled back a bit. “How do you know?”
“He’s been at the church every day this week at some time or other asking for God’s guidance.”
“Daniel, you know where he is?”
“I thought he was back home, just working at the hospital tonight. I didn’t know everyone was worried about him.”
“No, he’s been gone all week. What does he say?”
“Nothing really. We just pray or sit in silence. Sometimes it’s best not to pry and let people in sadness or despair find their own way.”
Lisa walked to the railing and turned toward
