She had. Harlem felt the need to explain. “It’s just that this project is so important. I mean, can you imagine? At the end of it . . . me, Harlem Thomas will have designed the third tallest building in Chicago. If my team is successful, AJ told me that a Senior Partnership is all but guaranteed.”
Damian’s smile faded. “Great.” His response was dry. “Sounds like more work to me.” After not accepting the flowers, he handed them to her. “Do you even want these?”
Harlem didn’t miss the irritation in his eyes. It’s my anniversary, and I am screwing up. I need to fix this. Slowly, she stood. This time Harlem sauntered around her desk to stand directly in front of him. She leaned over so that they were eye level and held his gaze. “Yes. They’re beautiful. Thank you.” Her voice turned sultry. “I want these and you.” Harlem cupped the side of his face and leaned in, covering his lips with hers. She poured everything into the one kiss. Just as Damian was about to deepen it, Harlem pulled back. She whispered. “I promise, if you give me another two minutes, I’ll make up for everything.”
Frustrated, Damian sat back in his chair. “You’re killing me, Harlem. If you can’t find time for us now, how the hell are you going to find the time when we have a baby?”
This was an argument that Harlem definitely didn’t want to have. Not again and not tonight. “Damian, that’s not fair. I never complain about your late nights or business travel.”
“Why would you? You’re my priority. I’m fully present when you’re in a room.”
Harlem tilted her head slightly and placed a hand on her hip. “Really?”
“Hell, yeah!” Unable to hide his growing anger, Damian got up out of his chair. “And, after the baby comes, I’ll scale back even more.”
“First, that’s easy for you to say. It’s your business. You’re the boss. Second, at some point when we have a baby, he or she will be my top priority too.”
Damian narrowed his eyes as he looked at her pointedly. “At some point? Exactly when do you think that will be?”
Harlem stuttered. “I-I told you when things slow down.” She definitely did not want to have this conversation. They did not agree on anything when it came to starting their family.
“You do realize you’ve been saying that for the past couple of years.”
She had.
“You know how much I want to have kids. You’ve known since we met that I want a big family.”
She did.
“We’re not getting any younger.”
They weren’t.
“At this rate, we’ll be lucky to have two.”
Harlem nibbled on her lower lip. “I think two is a good round number.”
“Harlem,” the more Damian talked, the more riled up he became. “If we’re not on the same page, you need to say so.”
They weren’t, but she wasn’t ready to admit it. “You’re asking me to sacrifice the career that I’ve worked hard for. I’m not ready to just give it all up.”
“That’s not what I’m saying, and you know it! You wouldn’t have to give anything up. We’re both people of means. We can hire all the help we need.”
Harlem knew that, but she also didn’t want nannies raising her children. No, if she were honest, there was something else holding her back, and she was afraid to admit it, even to herself.
Damian continued to make his point. “Almost all of our friends are settling into the family life. We’re the only ones without kids.”
“We’re not the only ones. Is that what this is about? The pressure to start a family because everyone else has?”
“I don’t give a goddamn about everyone else. I love you. I want to spend my life with you, and I’m ready to start our family. I’ve been ready. You’re the one who seems to want to flip the script. Why is that? And please don’t give me the bullshit about your job.”
“My career,” She stressed the word, “is not bullshit!” Harlem was pissed at the way Damian was so casual about how he described her work. “If we are going to be honest and lay our cards on the table . . . let’s do it. Whose last name would our child have? If something were to happen to you, what legal protections would I have? You want me to give you a baby, but you’re not willing to give me your last name? That’s the difference between our friends and us! You’ve taken marriage off the table. I’ve accepted that, but I’m not willing to give up my career too.”
Damian gritted his teeth in anger. “So without a ring, you’ve taken children off the table?” He ran a frustrated hand down the back of his head. “I’ve always been open and honest with you. Apparently, you haven’t. You should have told me the truth about how you really felt when we had this conversation the first time.”
Harlem lowered her voice. She wrapped her arms around her body. “I’m not taking anything off the table.” This argument had escalated to borderline out of control. Harlem felt as if she were falling downhill at ungodly speeds and unable to stop the momentum. Her career was the one thing she had control over, and she didn’t want to lose it.
Damian wanted to lower the temperature of their conversation too. He
