*****
Harlem was quiet on the drive home.
“A hundred dollars for your thoughts?” Damian joked. “I can afford it now that your man closed the deal.”
She smiled at him. “Only a hundred? You’re cheap. And was there ever any doubt?”
“Nope.” He couldn’t help but laugh. “I thought you were going to put an MMA move on Joy.”
“God, she was annoying.”
Damian glanced away from the road to look at her. “I don’t think she meant any real harm. She is just young and didn’t know what to do or say at the grown folks' table.” He used his thumb to caress the diamond ring on her left finger that he’d given her a year ago. “Back to my original question. What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”
She was hesitant. “I guess I’m just nervous.” The closer they came to their high-rise condo, the more butterflies in her stomach became more intense.
“There’s no need for that. We already know what’s up. My baby is having a baby.”
He looked so confident, but Harlem wasn’t so sure. They’d had more than a few false alarms over the last year.
Damian pulled up into their parking garage and whipped his car into his designated spot. “I’ve been counting down the minutes to this moment. This time is the real deal. I know it.”
He sounded so excited and sure. Harlem didn’t share his confidence and wasn’t nearly as excited.
Chapter 16
Harlem stood in front of the mirror in her spacious bathroom and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath, then began to silently pray that this time would be different. That she would see those elusive two lines. Please, God. I can’t disappoint him again.
Initially, Harlem had wanted to wait, but Damian was right. They weren’t getting any younger. If she had taken the promotion at work, it would have been almost impossible to balance being a new mother and that role. Something would have suffered. Once she made the decision, Harlem was all in and had done everything in her power to conceive. Not only had they used an ovulation kit, but they made love in all the right angles and positions. They consulted the best doctors in Western and Chinese medicine. They had even resorted to using a fortune teller. Tonight, Harlem prayed all of their careful planning worked.
At the sound of the alarm on her cell phone, Harlem’s eyes popped open. Without looking, she picked up the test and nervously walked out of the bathroom.
Damian’s back was turned away from her, but he could hear as she approached. He pivoted to find Harlem standing in the middle of their bedroom just an arm’s reach away. Damian searched her lovely eyes for any signs. He hoped to see that special sparkle they always have when she’s excited. Maybe even see that smile that Harlem reserved only for him, but neither were anywhere to be found. Instead, his baby, the love of his life, looked wide-eyed and nervous.
Harlem was a wreck. Her palms were a hot, sweaty mess. Her hands shook so badly that she thought she might drop the little white stick on the floor. “Dame, I can’t read it.”
He took the few short steps to close the gap between them.
“You do it.” She extended her arm and handed him the test.
Damian was equally nervous but did his best to mask it as she placed the little piece of plastic into his palm. When Harlem moved to pull her hand out of his grasp, Damian tightened his hold. He hoped his smile conveyed confidence he didn’t feel. Damian did his best to project calm. “No matter what, we’ll be okay. You know that, right?”
Harlem couldn’t speak. Her throat was thick. All she could do was nod.
Damian couldn’t stand to see the anxiety in her eyes – not his Harlem. She was always so fearless in everything. Damian pulled her close and pressed his lips gently against hers. He spoke softly. “I couldn’t love you any more than I already do.”
Harlem fought back the tears. That’s why I want to give you a baby so badly. Harlem did her best to check her emotions.
Damian gave her a minute. “You ready?” He asked.
Harlem shook her head no as she quietly whispered. “Yes.”
Slowly, Damian lifted the pregnancy test. They stilled as they looked up to read the results. The answer seemed to pulse as it glowed bright blue.
Neither spoke for several long moments as they stared at the results.
There was only one line.
The tears Harlem had been barely holding back rolled down her face and splashed onto her cheeks. She was a failure—an utter disappointment.
Damian’s heart broke. He swallowed hard and coughed a couple of times to clear the thickness from his voice before speaking. “Sooner or later, we’ll have a few knuckled-head kids running around driving us both crazy.”
She whispered. “I’m sorry.”
Damian wanted to reassure her. He kissed the temple of her head. “You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s just not our time.”
“We’ve been trying so hard. Maybe having our own children isn’t in our future.”
He cradled her face in the palm of his hands and gazed lovingly into her eyes. “C’mon now. You’re young and healthy, and so am I. It’ll happen for us. It will. I’ll get my little black Princess to go with my Queen. You’ll get a big head boy that will grow
