Damian was in agony. It was as if his heart was being held in a steel vice. “My baby is finally having a baby.”
Carter was caught between disbelief, sadness, and anger. A baby?! Harlem was pregnant. He attempted to keep his temper in check. “The treatments took?”
“Yeah. We found out a few days ago.” Damian responded.
“Why would you work to have a baby using my sperm, knowing all of this?!”
Damian’s guilt wouldn’t even allow him to look at Harlem. “You have a right to be pissed—both of you. Initially, I pushed ahead out of denial, but I had another idea when the truth finally started to settle. I figured a baby would heal all of us.”
“Heal us? How in God’s name?” Carter was utterly dumbfounded.
Harlem still couldn’t speak.
“I thought wrongly that it would give me the family I’ve always wanted. A child would help Harlem to realize that she doesn’t always have to be perfect. And, finally, a baby would show you that it was possible to love someone more than yourself.” Damian extended his hands. “Look, I should have put trying to have a baby on pause until I beat cancer. I never thought in a million years that I wouldn’t win this battle. When I realized this was a fight I wasn’t going to win, I was fully prepared to come clean. I was dead wrong to not have fully disclosed my diagnosis the second I found out.”
The magnitude of Damian’s words hit Harlem like a ton of bricks. Damian was dying, and she was pregnant. “I-I need a minute.” Harlem shot out of her chair and left the room.
Carter was in total and complete shock. Damian was standing there telling him that he was dying and confirming that Harlem was pregnant.
He was going to be sick.
Damian glanced heavenward. “I have no right to ask this of you.”
“No. You don’t.” Carter agreed. He was seething and devastated. “So, don’t do it. You can beat this thing, and you are going to be a great father.”
“I’m fighting as hard as I can, but if something were to happen to me, I need you to take care of Harlem and the baby.”
“What the fuck, Damian? Harlem doesn’t need me to take care of her.” He ran a hand down the back of his head. “This is some bullshit. I want to punch you in the face and hug you at the same time!” Carter’s voice was strangled. “How could you plan my life and Harlem’s without letting us in on it?!”
“At the time, it sounded like the perfect plan. You and Harlem can raise this baby. Hell, you might even fall in love.”
“That’s sick. How can I love your woman?”
“The more I thought about it, the more I realized you’re actually perfect for each other. Harlem is softer than you think, and you’re not as tough as you believe. You’re going to need someone after I’m gone.”
“That’s the meds from your treatments talking.”
“I always thought of myself as Superman. Even after the diagnosis, it still didn’t seem real. It’s only been the past couple of weeks that I’ve been staring mortality in the face. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I need you to make sure she’s okay. If the day ever comes, I don’t know how she’ll cope, and I’ll need you to be there for her . . . and the baby.”
“I don’t know if I can make that promise. As a matter of fact, I won’t. You’re going to be here to marry that woman and raise your own damn child.”
Damian knew he was fighting a losing battle and couldn’t expect Harlem and Carter to accept this overnight. It would take time. So, instead of pushing the issue, he spoke softly. “I hope so. I hope so.”
*****
Three weeks later, sandwiched between her parents, Harlem stood over Damian’s casket. Just like that, he was gone. She felt so many emotions. It was a tie between devastation and guilt.
Carter was just numb. Everything happened so fast. It was all a blur. None of it seemed real. He glanced up at Harlem. She would never forgive him for making the decision to take Damian off of life support. He wasn’t sure he could forgive himself. He walked over toward her. “Harlem . . .”
“Don’t.” She slowly raised her head. Her eyes were shooting daggers. “Don’t you ever speak to me.” She stormed off.
Her parents looked at him with sympathy. Her mom touched his arm. “She’s hurt and angry. With time, Harlem will realize that you did the right thing. Damian was suffering at the end. He’s now at peace.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Thomas.” Carter needed to hear those words.
Harlem’s mom and dad offered their condolences before walking away. “We are deeply sorry for your loss.”
Carter went back and stood over Damian’s casket long after everyone had left. His head was bowed, his hands were stuffed in his pockets, and he felt utterly alone. The woman he’d been dating the past couple of weeks came to stand by his side. “I know you may not know it now, but you’re going to be just fine. I’ll make sure of it.”
Chapter 23
Present Day
Carter took Route 137, Buckley Road off-ramp. They were now only about ten to fifteen minutes away from Harlem’s childhood home. She had fallen asleep, and Carter needed to wake her up. He said her name gently. “Harlem.”
At the sound of his voice, she roused from sleep.
Carter squeezed
