He didn't say anything, which made sense. No doubt he had no idea about what to say. I wasn't making much sense, and it hardly made sense that I'd brought him here just to say someone was dead. It wasn't exactly groundbreaking.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought you out here," I said after another moment of tense silence.
Abu pulled me around to face him. I looked up into his eyes, seeing something there that I couldn't put a name to. It was almost as if he'd go to the end of the earth and back for me.
"Then why did you?" he asked softly, his breath brushing across my cheek.
Something about him sent me into a relaxed state. I shouldn't let my guard down. It isn't even about him, but about the way other people could use this against me. Seth's reach was long, and he might think it was worth the risk of Ra's wrath to do something to humiliate me. Seth worshipped chaos, a war between the gods was exactly what he wanted.
If I wasn't careful, I could be the one who started it. A modern-day Helen of Troy. Even cut off from the world, I'd heard the stories.
I pulled away from Abu and began to pace up and down in front of him. I could tell from the expression on his face that he wanted nothing more than to pull me into his arms and chase away the pain. But it was too late for that.
"A part of me wants to crush him," I admitted. "To cause as much pain as he has to me." But even as I said it, I knew that wasn't possible. I doubted Seth felt pain like I did.
"You can come away with us," Abu suggested again.
"I can't. You know that," I countered. We'd been through this already. Even if I wanted to, I was still a slave. I belonged to Seth, and I would for the rest of my life. Nothing could change that.
"You can if you take your rightful place as a goddess."
I pursed my lips and tried to think of the best way to respond to that one. I knew he believed I was a goddess, but it wasn't the case. I would have figured it out by now if I was one.
"That's not an option," I reminded him.
"It is. If they find out that you were enslaved..."
I laughed bitterly. "If I am a goddess, don't you think one of the other gods that's visited over the years would have picked up on it?" That was one of the things that convinced me more than anything that he was mistaken. How could I have gone unnoticed for such a long length of time?
"I swear, you have all the signs of being one."
"I don't want to talk about that. Coming away with you isn't an option." But one that had been playing on my mind since the moment I'd seen Sophia's soulless eyes. "But I do want to help you."
"How?" he reached out and stopped my pacing.
I leaned in so I could whisper in his ear. The last thing we needed was for someone to overhear what I was about to suggest. "I could...watch. And tell you things."
He pulled back, shock evident in the soft moonlight dappling his skin. "That's too dangerous."
"No more so than trying to run away," I countered.
"How..."
"There's an oasis not far from here, did you pass it?" I hoped he knew the one I meant or else this would be more complicated than I planned it to be.
"Yes. We camped there overnight."
"I can meet you there. Every other Sunday and tell you what I've found out." It's the only thing I could think of to keep the promise to myself to bring Seth down, without putting an even worse target on my back. At least, that was the plan.
He nodded.
A scuffing sound came from the other side of the courtyard. Both of us turn sharply, trying to get a good view of whoever it is making the sound.
"What do we do?" I whisper, panic filling me as I realise someone might be watching.
"Kiss me," he says.
"I don't think now is the time," I respond.
"It is if you want to make this look like nothing more than an interrupted tryst."
My eyes widened as I realised what he was getting at. I didn't hesitate any longer but turned and almost threw myself into his arms.
Our lips met, and I melted into him. The heat of our bodies was the only thing I was able to focus on.
Despite everything that was happening, I was certain of one thing. This felt right. And I wanted to do it again.
That meeting every other Sunday in the oasis was going to become about more than just information.
CHAPTER TWELVE
I TRIED NOT to let my gaze slip to Abu too much during the final feast, but it was hard when we hadn't been able to have more time alone together, especially as this was his last night in the temple. Ra's company would be leaving come the morning, and I wasn't sure how to deal with that one. The place would certainly feel emptier than it had before, but that wasn't going to be the only problem.
Nerves jittered in my stomach even as I thought about the idea of sneaking out of the temple and to the oasis. Not because my resolve faltered. I was going to get my revenge on Seth if it was the last thing I did, but I wasn't naive enough to think I'd be able to do it on my own. Handing information to his enemies was the only way.
As if my thoughts had summoned him, Seth rose to his feet and clapped his hands together.
Everyone fell silent instantly. At least his treatment of me had done some good, even Ra's people had learned that doing what Seth said was the smartest decision. No one else wanted to get hurt. I was glad for that, even
