“Yes. I turned the horse, and that’s when the wolf came. He chased us down the river, snapping at my legs and drove me into the river.” Nessa jumps up and starts walking as she talks. “I had no choice, but to go across.” She paces remembering the sounds and fear.
“Did he follow?”
“No, not then.” Glancing over at him, she frowns. “Harris, I can’t…” she grabs her cup and walks over to the small kitchen area to wipe it clean. He follows her and pulls her back into the heat of his body.
“You said you trusted me, Nessa.” She turns into his arms and rests her head over his heart, listening to the steady rhythm.
“Nessa, I like when you call me that,” she murmurs and wraps her arms around him. Harris sighs and holds her tight.
“How many times have you seen him?” he changes tactics.
Muttering under her breath, she pushes away and stalks over to the fireplace. “Pushy weda,” she grumbles.
Harris laughs and follows her to sit on the bench. Nessa grabs a blanket and wraps it around her frail shoulders and stares at him. When he opens his arms to her and grins, she smiles and rushes to curl into his heat.
They snuggle together, and she turns into his neck to smell him, without even realizing she’s memorizing the feel, touch, and smell of him. Like she needs help to remember him. Harris frowns when her hand clutches his shirt in a fist. He covers her hand with his and presses a kiss to her forehead.
“Three or four times, I think,” she whispers. “Every time I’m in trouble, he shows up. Once when I blacked out, he slept with me, sharing his fur and body heat to keep me warm.”
Harris listens fascinated by the possibilities. “He warned me that you were in trouble,” he exclaims.
Nessa nods, “Ahbe’ told us once the story of the Spirit Walker.” She pushes back and looks at him. “When a warrior perishes with shame, he is not free to cross over until he resolves his dishonor.”
“Okay,” Harris runs a hand over his face and scratches his beard. “What are you trying not to say?”
The silence grows between them. “Ahote came to me in a vision, Harris. He apologized for hurting me and told me to be happy.”
Harris stares at her in surprise. “You’d be surprised by the things I’ve seen as a doctor, that have no explanation.”
Nessa sags in relief and drops her head to his shoulder.
“You don’t think I’m crazy?” she gasps.
“No, babe. I think anything is possible and I’m thankful that he’s watching over you.” Kimani glances up at him with tears glistening in her eyes. Her hand cups his face, and she strokes his beard.
“Thank you,” she leans over and kisses him softly, shocking them both. Jumping up she stumbles over the blanket and almost falls, but he follows her swiftly grabbing her before she crashes to the wooden floor.
“Easy, Nessa. I’ve got you.”
“Thank you,” she whispers and waits for him to untangle her. “I shouldn’t have done that. Forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive. As soon as this is resolved, and you are safe we will discuss our future.” Nessa steps back away from him even as he snarls. “I want you, screaming my name in passion. I want to take away all of your pain and replace it with pleasure.” She rushes at him and covers his mouth with her hand causing him to laugh.
“Stop!” The images of her night with Ahote making love for the first time are shut out by the thought of Harris touching her, loving her, and she feels shame. “This isn’t a game, Harris.” She shoves at him and struggles against the tears.
Harris grips her tightly by the upper arms, “I’m not playing, I’ve wanted Kimani for years, and now I find that I want Vanessa too. I won’t be ashamed of my feelings for you. It is natural.”
Nessa shoves at him, and this time he releases her. “You lost your wife, years ago. Maybe for you, it’s natural, but Ahote… is still with me. I don’t know what to do with all of this.” Tears stream now unchecked, and she sobs as he pulls her against him. “I’m so confused.”
“I’m sorry, Nessa, don’t cry. I promise not to push you again until this is over.”
“Thank you,” she pulls away and grabs a blanket to go sit on the porch and watch the rain.
Harris sits next to her on the deck as the rain washes the snow away, revealing muddy earth beneath. “Do you know what a gift it is, Nessa, to see him? I wonder what she’d say to me. Would she be proud of me? Would the love that I had for her still exist?”
A new shame strikes Nessa’s heart. Here she is complaining about seeing her husband, and he has no way to see his wife. “Any woman lucky enough to love you would carry that for a lifetime, Harris Rivers.”
Harris looks at her in surprise. “She’d be so proud of the man you’ve become, though she’d probably not like the beard,” Nessa teases.
“Thank you,” he says thinking of his wife and watching the rain.
Her heart breaks again, he still loves her after all these years. Once again, she is forced to face facts that they have no future together. But how does she tell her heart that? It has loved him for as long as she can remember.
Chapter 28
Tracking people isn’t as hard as the Army makes it sound. This woman is not Shoshone, she makes the mistake of thinking it is over. Blood Eagle laughs as he rides from town. Dr. Harris will be her weakness. He started the search at Riverton
