“He’s in a California prison for embezzlement.”
“Good.” Was it wrong to feel satisfaction at the knowledge?
“Yes, I thought so as well. It saves me the trouble of killing him for you.”
“Alejandro—”
“No,” he said, holding up a hand to silence her. “I would do this gladly. You need only ask. When he gets out in twenty years, I will challenge him to a duel.”
Rebecca dropped her gaze in confusion. She didn’t know whether to laugh or ask him if he’d lost his mind. What was he playing at?
“Are you laughing at me, Rebecca?”
“No.”
He sighed. “Ah, well, I am not so amusing then. Will you look at me?”
She lifted her head slowly. He was staring at her.
“I know you did not give the story to the press.”
If he hoped that news would make her leap up and throw herself in his arms, he was mistaken. She was too pissed to do so. “And? Did you hire someone to tell you this? Find the real culprit so you could no longer blame me?”
He looked very solemn. “No, I did none of these things. I just know.”
She did laugh this time, and it was as bitter as acid. “How can you suddenly know? It’s not like you, Alejandro! You’ve done something and you’re lying to me about it.”
He moved with a speed that startled her. When she would have scrambled away, he dropped to his knees in front of her, gripping her hands. “I know because of many things, amor. I know you are not capable of this kind of deception. It’s too calculated, too cold—”
She tried to wrench her hands away, but he wouldn’t let go. “But this is exactly what you’ve been accusing me of all along! I’m cold, calculating. I make bargains on my back and—”
“Stop,” he ordered. “I was wrong.”
She searched his eyes, looking for deceit. “I don’t understand you,” she whispered.
“Can you forgive me for the things I’ve said? The things I’ve done? I’ve been an ass, and I’m sorry. The truth has been staring me in the face, but I’ve been too blind to see it.”
She bit the inside of her lip to keep it from trembling. She’d told him as much before, but to hear it said back to her now? Yes, she wanted to forgive him. But was it real, or would he do the same thing again?
“I don’t know if I can,” she said honestly. She stared at their clenched hands. His dark ones gripping her paler ones. “You hurt me too many times. Every time I trust you, believe in you, something happens, and you believe the worst. I’m not sure I can take that risk again. Or that I want to.”
He let her go and she pulled away, stood up and moved out of his reach while he remained kneeling by the bed. He dropped his forehead on the edge of the mattress and stayed that way for several moments.
Her heart slammed her ribs seeing him like that. It was alarming. She didn’t understand him, and she wasn’t sure she trusted him. Had she missed some sort of Spanish law about mothers getting full custody of children in divorces? About foreigners married to Spaniards for less than a month? Did he need her to come back so he could take their baby away?
She pressed a hand to her abdomen protectively. She could not soften. Not now.
“I blamed you,” he finally said. “That’s why I did it. Why I took your company.”
Rebecca blinked. “Blamed me for what?”
He looked up. “For Anya. I blamed you for everything that happened to her.”
“That makes no sense, Alejandro. How could it be my fault?”
He got to his feet, but he didn’t try to get close to her. “I know this, but I needed a place to focus my grief.” He sucked in a breath and the story tumbled out. “My father arranged for my brother to marry the daughter of one of his friends, a man he owed money to. But when my brother died, my father wished me to honor the agreement. I have told you this, sí?”
She nodded.
“But I did not want to marry her. I wanted to choose my own wife in my own time. I refused. And then you ran away when you thought I was engaged. I tried to explain the mistake to you, but you didn’t believe me. Nor did I believe that you ever really loved me once Cahill pulled the deal to finance my fledgling business. So, I agreed to marry Caridad. She had all the right qualifications. Bloodline, wealth, beauty. It was a marriage of convenience and I was satisfied she would be the perfect wife for my ambitions.”
He raked his hand through his hair. “I was wrong. When Anya was born, Caridad didn’t seem to care. She was always distant and cold. It didn’t bother me until she was the same way with our child. I knew then I had made a grave mistake.”
He closed his eyes and drew in a breath. “The night Anya died, Caridad was in Milan. She was unreachable for many hours. When I finally tracked her down, she refused to come home until the next afternoon because there was nothing she could do for Anya.”
Rebecca’s heart squeezed. She wanted to wrap her arms around him, but she was frozen in place. “And you blamed me for her actions? Why?”
He shook his head, a quick sharp shake. “It makes no sense. I know that. And it wasn’t her actions I blamed you for. It was her. I chose to marry her because you left me, Rebecca. Everything that happened to me and my daughter happened because you left.”
“No, that’s not right.” Her throat hurt as she forced the words to come. “You had a choice, Alejandro. There is always a choice. Just like my father had when he chose to pursue the Thailand acquisition. It’s not your fault he was there, or that he got on that plane.
