She didn’t know for certain, but she would always believe her son had been killed by her old FSB handler, Dmitri Leonov. Ordered to do it by mafia boss Sergei Turov because Kat would not shoot an innocent girl for him. Sergei had deliberately destroyed his hold over her because he’d thought she would break. She’d broke all right. She’d broke free, and then she’d spent years thwarting Sergei at every turn.
“Is everything okay, Kat?”
Kat looked up to find Grace staring at her, concern on her pretty face. Kat swallowed down her bitterness. It wasn’t good for the baby. “Yes, fine. I’m sorry. My mind wanders sometimes. Pregnancy brain.”
Grace laughed. “I’m beginning to realize that’s a thing. I didn’t believe my mother when she told me, but it sure is.”
Kat almost said something about her first pregnancy, then bit her lip and didn’t. Too hard to explain. Too emotional to have to.
A few minutes later, Helena announced the food was ready and Kat made her way to the buffet with the other women, intent on piling a plate to the max. Drowning her feelings about her lost son with food was a good start. She was happy, truly, but thinking of her first pregnancy made her sad. She didn’t want to be sad, not when she had so much to be thankful for.
A male voice spoke just behind her before she reached the buffet. “Hello, Kat.”
Kat nearly jumped out of her skin. Then she lumbered around to wrap Ian Black in a hug. “Ian. It’s so nice to see you.”
He gave her a quick squeeze and set her away from him. “You’ve put on some weight, I see.”
He said it with a grin, so she didn’t smack him. “Yes. I have eaten a basketball apparently.”
“You look great. And happy. I’m glad you’re happy.”
“I am,” she said, her heart so full she thought she might burst with it. “How are you? I haven’t seen you in at least two months.”
He shrugged. “Work keeps me busy.”
“Yes, well I suspect I also don’t see you because of this rivalry between you and Johnny. He likes you, Ian.”
“And I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for him. Which is why I’m not calling up his wife for a chat from time to time.”
Johnny appeared then, slipping an arm around her and drawing her in to the solid warmth of his body. Her every cell tingled at his touch. Her very soul glowed with warmth and belonging. He chased away the shadows and made her thrill to be alive.
“Hello, Ian. Haven’t seen you in a while.”
Kat looked up at her husband. “I was just saying as much to him, Johnny.”
Johnny’s eyes filled with love. “Were you? Ian, you need to stop by more often. Kat misses you.”
If Ian was surprised, he didn’t show it. But she knew he must be. She did miss him. He’d helped her more than he knew. Saved her in many ways. If she hadn’t worked for him during the long lonely years after she’d lost Roman, she’d have gone mad. He’d given her a purpose when she’d lost everything. He’d also brought her and Johnny together again. She would always love him for that.
“I’ll make a point of it then,” he said.
“Good. Be sure you do. Whatever makes Kat happy is my priority.”
Ian’s gaze bounced between them. “Do you think I could get a minute of your time tonight, General?”
Kat groaned. “It’s always business, isn’t it? Neither of you can help yourselves.”
Johnny gave her a squeeze. “Maybe not tonight, Ian. Call me tomorrow. Or come by HOT—assuming you’re not pretending not to know us these days. And it’s John, not general.”
Ian snorted. “Not pretending a thing, John. Sorry, Kat, I can’t help myself. But yes, I’ll make a point of catching up to you this week. Before Christmas.”
“Great,” Kat said. “Now that you two have settled that, can we please eat?”
3
Kat fell asleep in the car. Mendez didn’t mind. Snow had started to fall softly, but the roads weren’t slick with it. Christmas carols played on the radio. Kat loved them, so Mendez put them on whenever they drove somewhere.
He didn’t mind the music, but it also wasn’t something he’d have listened to on his own. His mother had loved carols, but they also made her cry for his sister who’d drowned at age three. Christmas had never been the same after little Ava died. It was always a teary affair, never joyous as it should be.
Mendez thought of his own son, lost before he’d ever known about the boy, and his heart ached for what might have been. A glance at Kat filled his heart with love and fierce protectiveness. Kat wasn’t paralyzed by her loss the way his mother had been. The baby she carried would never be ignored because she was busy grieving the child she’d lost. Not the way he’d been.
He’d wanted his mother’s love and attention, and he’d had it, but it was never an all-encompassing thing. She’d loved from a distance. After his father died a few years later, when Mendez was still in high school, his mother withdrew even further.
And now dementia had stolen the rest of her so that she didn’t know him anymore. He made sure she was taken care of, but he rarely went to see her these days. His presence agitated her, so he didn’t go.
He pulled into the garage of the home he and Kat had purchased together just a few short months ago. It was a big house, grander than anything he’d ever expected to buy, but it had a yard and plenty of room for a growing family. Not that Kat was likely to get pregnant again, but they’d discussed adoption in the future. His life, once so regimented, was filled with possibilities these days.
“Kat,” he said softly.
Her eyes opened, their blue depths filled with the kind of joy that
