“Macie went with her.” Ford flipped his putter on top of his shoulder as he kept his eyes on Zac’s dad. “She promised to send me pics if Lauren got out of line.”
This time Zac didn’t bother to hide his reaction. He scowled openly at the mention of Lauren’s best friend. “That sounds like Macie, ruining everything. It’s her M.O.”
“Man, you guys are going to have to get along until the wedding. After that, you can hate each other all you want. At least until we have a kid.” Ford turned toward him, all joviality gone. “You know you’ll be my first kid’s Godfather. And there’s a good chance you’ll share those duties with Mace.”
Zac didn’t know what to say to that. Best man at Ford’s wedding, sure, no problem. Godfather to an unborn child? That was not something he’d ever planned. Or even thought of to be honest. The last time Zac stepped into a church was for his grandfather’s funeral four years ago. “Wait. Lauren’s not —”
“No, she’s not. But we’re going to have a family.” Ford beamed again. A low rumble of jealousy filled Zac’s gut. “Maybe in a few years if all goes well.”
Zac swallowed hard. It wasn’t like being a Godfather was being a parent. All he’d have to do was stand there when the kid got baptized. Right? Zac pulled out his phone to Google it. He hated being unprepared for anything. His gaze caught the Blind Friends app Ford and Lauren had created together. Another thing he hated to admit was that he was still talking to someone on there. And that he anticipated getting her messages the minute he sent his. Zac opened the app. A red number one appeared over the blue M of the mailbox. All thoughts of Godfatherhood disappeared. She’d replied.
“I thought you quit that last month,” Ford said, peering over Zac’s shoulder.
“Yeah, well...” Zac didn’t bother to come up with any other excuse. He’d tried to quit, but when he went longer than a day without talking to her, he missed her. He didn’t even know her name. It was stupid. He’d never even met this girl, if it even was a girl. What if he’d been talking to a guy for the last five months? The thought made him shudder. He shoved the phone back into his pocket and watched his dad pull the golf ball out of the hole.
“Meet her, Z. Just send a message to meet her.” Ford shoved his putter back into Zac’s golf bag, a gift from his father at Christmas. “There’s obviously something there.”
“Maybe,” Zac reluctantly admitted. In the four years they’d known each other, Ford had become the brother Zac never had. He loved his two younger half-sisters and would do anything for them, but Ford was what Zac imagined a brother would’ve been like. And Ford was the only person who knew Zac’s dreams and fears. So, he had no problem sharing them now. “What if she’s a he? What if she’s ... a complete bitch in person? What if she’s —”
“Perfect for you?” Ford shook his head. “Then wait. Don’t meet her. Don’t put yourself out there. Don’t even try.” Ford raised his eyebrows. “Quit before you get hurt. That’s your norm.”
Harsh words, but Zac knew brutal honesty was what he’d get. Ford didn’t hold back his psychological mumbo jumbo. “Maybe after graduation.”
Ford harrumphed, but he didn’t say anything else as Zac’s father strolled up to them. They moved onto safer conversations about investing and money. The two things both Zac and his father were good at. Ford had already let Zac start investing what little he could. When they entered the clubhouse for lunch, Zac sat at the table alone while Ford hit the restroom and his dad talked to some friends at another table. Since he was finally alone, he pulled out his phone and opened the app.
Dogs are great, too. I never had one, though, so I can’t say if I’m a dog person for sure. But I’d be more than willing to try. Maybe I should get one this summer to run with. Or not to run with but to hang out with or something. What do people do with dogs? I see them walking all the time and running, but do dogs plop across your lap like cats? Wouldn’t it be like having a kid in animal form? Maybe I won’t get a dog. Sounds like a lot of responsibility and life is crazy busy with everything.
I’m graduating this spring. I know we agreed not to give details about our lives too much, but since we both go to Lafayette and around a thousand people are getting their diplomas, this little bit of information shouldn’t be much of a surprise. Wow, that was a ramble. I’m not deleting it, though.
The truth is, and I haven’t even shared this with anybody, not even my best friend. The truth is, I am terrified. What if I made a huge mistake in my major? What if I take the wrong job? What if I move into the wrong apartment? What if I fail?
That last one, that’s the kicker. What if I fail?
I don’t want to fail. But does anybody?
Zac reread the message. Ford was right; he needed to meet this person. Even if she ended up being only a friend, he needed to have this girl in his life. But he didn’t want to rush into it blind. He wanted to wait until the right moment. With less than a month to go in the semester, he had too much going on. He wanted to meet her, just
