CHAPTER TWELVE
Macie’s shirt stuck to her skin. Her hair dripped with sweat. It took her forty-five minutes to get home from Spoons. It would’ve taken her longer, but she walked as fast as she could in her heels. See if she’d wear those shoes again.
How could this happen? How could Guy be Zac fucking Sparks? She tore off her clothes, tossing them onto her futon instead of hanging them up. She felt like a fraud. Everything she’d done over the last few months had been to set herself up for her future, even chatting with Guy... Zac. But she didn't know it was Zac. She’d built her wardrobe to look professional, and she hated it. She put up these walls of cool confidence, but that wasn’t Macie. Sitting in front of Zac tonight, knowing he had been on the other side of her screen for four months while she chatted without hiding who she was, staring into his eyes at his disappointment in seeing her, she wanted to crumble. She wanted to cry. She wanted to turn back the clock and never schedule that meeting.
She needed to paint. The question was what.
Macie pulled her supplies from the small closet near the bathroom. She threw down a drop cloth and set up her easel. Grabbing her brushes, she stood in front of her last blank 40x40 canvas in nothing but her birthday suit. Black and white, the colors blended in her mind. She filled her palette with both. Her brushed dug into the black. She didn’t think about what she was painting. She let her anger, disappointment, heartache, and fear guide her. She swayed as the bristles swept across the canvas, black paint, white paint, flowing and smothering each other. An hour later, her arm ached, and the brush slipped from her hand, landing the clear plastic at her feet. The black and white swirled into a variety of grays, but still kept their own color. It was an abyss, circling wide then tightening in the center. She painted the rabbit hole she fell down. Everything in life always seemed so black and white to her, but she finally saw the grays.
She needed to climb out and face the music. It didn’t matter that Guy was Zac or that Zac was Guy. What mattered was he got her. He understood the real Macie Regan. The one she didn’t let many people see.
Grabbing her tablet off the table, she settled into her chair, paint and all. She didn’t have a clue how to do this. How to tell Zac she had been there. That she was right in front of him the entire time. But she also knew she couldn’t. She had to ... she had to show him who she really was and not just Macie the anonymous person on the other side of the screen. She didn’t want to give up the connection they had online, either.
Once the app opened, she went to their message stream and began to type.
I am so sorry about tonight. Work called me in.
She backspaced over all of it and started again.
Please forgive me. I know we agreed to meet tonight and I know how bad this looks that I wasn’t there. I had every intention to be there, but something came up and it was unavoidable. If you don’t, I understand. This isn’t how I wanted our first meeting to go. I imagined a night of fantastic conversation face to face. I enjoy our chats. It should come as no surprise to you, but I constantly check my app to see if you’ve responded.
Or maybe it does in light of tonight. I hope not. I really do want to meet you, but my life is out of control at the moment. Just graduating from college, starting a very demanding job, living on my own for the first time. I’m overwhelmed. And the one thing I want to do, I keep screwing up. Story of my life right now. Screwing everything up.
Again, I understand if you don’t want to talk to me again
She almost signed her name. Again. That would’ve been more of a disaster. To make things worse, her phone went off and it was a message from Lauren. Macie ignored it. She couldn’t even tell her best friend that Guy was Zac. She had to deal with this on her own and she had to make things right with the Zac she’d butted heads with, so she could tell him the truth.
Maybe she wouldn’t have to. Maybe she could get Zac to see the real her and forget the online her. Then she’d never have to tell him that she was the person he’d chatted with on Blind Friends. He’d never have to know. Smiling at her scheme, Macie put her tablet down and headed into the shower.
This plan could work. It would be perfect. And he’d never have to know the truth.
ZAC THREW HIMSELF INTO work the next day. He met with new investors, ones he’d recruited from Lafayette. Most of his new clientele didn’t have much to invest but he’d encouraged them to meet with him anyway. It was never to early to build a nest egg and plan for retirement. He also managed to get a few professors to move their portfolios to him. The work kept his mind off his mystery girl until the office quieted down in the late afternoon and she snuck into his thoughts.
Had she taken one look at him and bolted? Had she stood outside and laughed because she’d never intended meeting him to begin with? Had he scared her off somehow? He shook his head and focus on emails, stock options, news, anything to stop thinking about her.
It was getting close to five when his phone dinged a text. He glanced at the name. Chomper. He really needed to change that before Macie found out. But how would she ever know? It wasn’t like he was going
