“Okay,” I said, not really sure if this was a rejection now or not. It didn’t sound like it, but it sure felt like it. “I mean, sure. The music is what matters.”
“Exactly,” he said with a sigh of relief. “Let’s get you home.”
“But why did you bring me here?” I asked, standing with a sudden rush of anger. Not that I wanted to have sex with him or anything, but this sudden change of mood totally pissed me off. It wasn’t okay. I knew that. He knew that. Why were we playing like it was? And why would he bring me to his love nest if he didn’t want to kiss me?
“I don’t know,” he said just above a whisper. “I didn’t want to be alone I guess.”
It was a pin to my balloon of anger. That was something I understood. I nodded and walked toward the stairs.
We didn’t talk as he drove me home. And I didn’t say goodnight as I climbed out of his rental car. I crawled into bed and stared at the ceiling until my alarm went off a few hours later.
CHAPTER TEN
“So, what happened last night?” Miranda asked the minute I stepped up to my locker.
It was empty, just like I felt. I closed it because there really was no point. Today was just a technicality. Most of the day would be spent wishing other seniors good luck and hoping we’d never see each other outside of social media. I wasn’t sure why I bothered. I shrugged and leaned forward, resting my forehead on the cool metal.
“That bad?” Iris asked. She patted my back. “Not all bad boys are good where it counts.”
Miranda laughed, but it only made me relive the moment he rejected me. I’d stayed up the few hours before school and thought of nothing else. We’d made such glorious music together. Our voices danced around and entwined. It was sexy, erotic, and damned if I didn’t want more. But it wasn’t the same as a physical side. I kinda wanted that too. Just to experience it, because my body reacted in a way it never had before. It heated and drew closer to him, like he was the sun.
I shook my head. That kind of thinking was only going to get me in trouble. I spun around and leaned against my locker, letting it hold me up. Exhaustion finally kicked in.
“Holy shit, Cami. Did you even sleep?” Miranda asked. Her eyes widened in shock, but I suspected she might’ve been a little impressed too. It wasn’t like me to stay up all night.
“No, and not for the reasons you two think.” I pushed off the locker with my heel and headed to homeroom. “I couldn’t sleep. That’s all.”
“Hold on.” Iris held her phone to her ear. “Hello? Bullshit? Yeah, I think Cami’s—”
I knocked her hand down. “Stop. Please? It wasn’t a good night.” I stopped in the middle of the hallway. “That’s not true. It wasn’t a bad night, it just didn’t end on a good note. Okay? Can we drop it? I need to nap through homeroom if I’m going to make it through the day.”
“We’ll drop it until lunch. Then we want—”
Miranda interrupted, “No need.”
“Right,” Iris continued, “we need details.”
“School lets out after lunch.” I shook my head when it hit me again. It was my last day. Branson North had been my jail the last four years. It hadn’t been all bad, but it hadn’t been all good either. I sat in homeroom and stared out the window, the nap all but forgotten.
Memories shot out of nowhere. Stupid sentimentality. Losing out on a part in the spring musical because Mr. Hemmings, the director and music teacher, didn’t want a freshman playing Eliza Doolittle. He gave the role to a senior who couldn’t hit a high C. Mr. Hemmings refused to let me sing a solo my sophomore and junior years for state. I was regulated to small roles in the musicals too. During the last home football game, I sang the National Anthem after winning a contest sponsored by a local newspaper. This year I finally got the role I wanted. Fantine in Les Miz was a dream part for anyone who loved musical theater. Mr. Hemmings gave me a pat on the back, and “theatre may not be for you” speech after the show closed. I wanted to win a Tony Award just to spite him, even though I knew I wasn’t bound for the Broadway stage.
Then there was my year with Rickie. We didn’t have anything in common other than a lack of money and a lack of anything better to do. He broke up with me after school started in the fall. It wasn’t a bad break up, and to be honest, we hooked up again for homecoming. It was sex and we needed comfort. That was our relationship. It wasn’t good, and it wasn’t bad. It just was.
I went through the motions of the morning, saying good luck and goodbye to anyone who said it to me. Everyone was in a wistful mood. There were a lot of “remember when” stories even if the when was just last week. Iris and Miranda didn’t bother, and I silently thanked them for that.
We sat at our usual table for lunch. I only had an apple and lack of appetite. It had nothing to do with school either. I’d avoided thinking about Dylan and how things had went down last night, but I knew I’d have to rehash every embarrassing moment.
“Dish,” Miranda said as she dropped into the chair beside me.
