Angelo: FFS. Why?
Unknown number: I need your help, duh.
Angelo: fuck off
Unknown number: it’s for Yuri.
Angelo called the unknown number immediately. Jacki answered. “Yeah, I figured that would work.”
“Jacki, what the actual fuck is going on?” Angelo stood up and started to pace his small room.
“Hm. I have been sworn to secrecy, but I don’t think I’m breaking my promise if you guess. Then I never told you. Technically. Right?”
“For fuck’s sake, Jacki! Tell me what’s going on!”
She hummed a little. “No. You see, that’s my problem. I promised that I wouldn’t tell you anything, and I’m Yuri’s best friend, so I can’t go back on a promise. But if you use that adorable little brain of yours, I’m sure you can figure shit out. So. I’m in Boots.”
“You’re in Boots,” Angelo echoed blankly. “And?”
“And Yuri sent me here. To buy some cream. Because he can’t come. And I can’t find it. So I called his majesty back—”
“His highness, not his majesty.”
“Whatever, Señor Asshole. Do you want in on this or not?”
Angelo breathed in and out deeply a few times. “Yeah. Sorry. You were babbling something about cream for whatever fucked up reason.”
“Yes,” Jacki said, her tone sharper than Angelo had ever heard it before. “Look. I think you’re a giant douche, but I also think you’re a giant douche who actually gives a shit about Yuri, no matter how much the two of you like to fight. Hell, you’re already like an old married couple. And some straight dude is not the guy I’d pick for Yuri, but the gay one he’s with now is—” She broke off with a huff, then muttered, “Stupid promise. Anyway, I trust you, at least where it comes to Yuri, so will you please shut up and listen?”
Angelo sat down abruptly, his stomach feeling like it had dropped down into the cellar. “Yeah, sure.”
“Great. So I’m in Boots, looking for this special cream for Yuri, only I can’t find it, so I called him back and asked and he let the following slip: ‘I'm pretty sure Angelo got it at Boots.’ I honestly don’t think Yuri thought that through before he said it, but he’s not really… with it… right now. And even though I promised to not say a word to you, Yuri never said a thing about asking you where in Boots I can find this cream. Got it?”
His heart pounding violently enough that it felt as if it might break his ribs, Angelo said, “What did he do?”
“Uh uh. I can’t answer that question even though I can say it's the wrong question. I can, however, ask if you know what cream Yuri was talking about.”
Of course Angelo knew what cream she meant. It was what he rubbed on Yuri’s skin after a particularly hard spanking, when his skin was red and sore. “Don’t bother buying any.” He said. “I’ve got some. I can bring it.” His eyes stung and his mouth felt bone dry. “Is he in his room at St John’s or is he somewhere else?”
“He’s in his room, waiting for me to come back. Listen, Angelo. Don’t fuck this up. Do you hear me? Do not fuck this up. I’m counting on your sorry self, which is a depressing thought, but if anyone can save my favorite prince, it’s you.”
Angelo opened his bedside table and took out the healing cream he kept in there. “I’m on my way.”
“Thank god,” she said, then hung up.
7
Yuri Is a Mess
Yuri lay on his bed, face down and covered only by a thin sheet while he waited for Jacki to return from Boots. He didn’t know how much good the cream would do, or if she could even find it, but he was all out of other ideas. He couldn’t go to A&E for this. He was boring enough royalty that he rarely inspired paparazzi to follow him around, but this would get out and it would humiliate his family. Yuri refused to let that happen. Besides, there was nothing wrong with him that was life-threatening. Tutorials and lectures might be a challenge for a week or two, but he could plead illness. Or something. He’d figure it out, just not right this second.
He heard his door open. He’d told Jacki to leave it unlocked so he wouldn’t have to get up to let her in. And if it was someone else, he’d tell them he’d lain down for a nap and it was bloody rude to just barge into his room. The door snicked quietly closed and he could hear the creaking of the wooden floor.
“You’re back. Did you find the cream?” he asked.
“I brought it with me,” said a deep voice that wasn’t Jacki.
Yuri craned his neck to look behind him and hissed with pain. Stupid move, but he had to see with his own eyes that Angelo was here and it wasn’t some sort of hallucination. “You’re not Jacki.”
“Your powers of observation never cease to amaze me, princess.” Angelo’s steps came closer.
“How… why… what the hell are you doing here?”
Angelo’s hand touched Yuri’s head. “I’m here for my prince.”
Yuri snorted. Fat lot of good being Angelo’s prince had ever done for him.
“What happened, Yuri? You need to tell me.”
“No, I don’t have to tell you a bloody thing. We aren’t married yet, we're not even officially engaged, so bugger off. While you’re at it, tell Jacki she can bugger off, too.”
“I’m not going anywhere, princess. Just try to shift me.” He knelt by the bed and lightly stroked Yuri’s hair. “And Jacki didn’t tell me anything. All she did was call me and ask where I bought the cream because she couldn’t find it.”
Yuri huffed in disbelief. “And why call you?”
“Because you told her I bought it at Boots, you idiot. This is all your fault. And I didn’t fucking buy it at Boots, either. This shit is made in small batches at a specialty shop
