Damn it! I can’t believe I let that slip.
The high pitch in her voice made me wince in pain. I felt the fear roll forward with a vengeance. It was the type of fear that came with the worry of knowing what might happen now that a deep dark secret was out. I knew exactly what that felt like because of my diagnosis being leaked last year. For the first time in a long time, I experienced something for Echo I never thought I’d ever feel again—protectiveness.
“It’s ok, Echo. Your secret is safe with me. It will be ours. Okay?”
Thank you, Eden.
It was all she would say in return. The silence between us stretched as I walked back to my room, wrapped in a towel, and got dressed. Sitting at my mirrored vanity, I examined my reflection with critical eyes for the first time in years. The features I inherited from Echo were unmistakable, the full lips, big eyes, perfectly tapered eyebrows, and tiny ears. Then there were the features I didn’t take from her, the angular nose, strong jawline, and long, thick, eyelashes that framed piercing grey eyes. I grinned at the face in the mirror, which smiled back with near-perfect teeth, also not my mother’s. My hair had to be an even toss-up between both parents. Where I knew Echo’s had been tightly coiled, black curls; I could only assume my father must have had relatively straight and light-toned hair because mine was somewhere in the middle of those two extremes. Springy, dark brown, waterfall curls cascaded just past my shoulder blades in the mirror’s reflection.
Danny had the lightest blonde hair. In the summer, it would lighten to an almost platinum blonde. Obviously, you didn’t get your eye color from me. Every time you look into a mirror, as you are now, it’s just like Danny is staring back at me. I loved those eyes. I’d never seen anything like them before I met Danny. The only other time I’ve ever seen anything as beautiful as that liquid silver since him was the first time you peered into a mirror as a toddler.
“I guess I have a pretty even mix of the both of you, right down to the tawny color of my skin. You said Danny was tall before, and I know you weren’t. So, my height must be a combination of both your genes as well.”
I stared at my reflection a moment longer then reached for a hair tie. Pulling my hair into a ponytail, I left the vanity and slipped into my pajamas. As I sat on my bed, I reflected on where Drew and I were heading. I wanted a lasting thing with him. My issues with lying couldn’t become a problem, I wouldn’t let them. But I knew that at some point it was inevitable, something was bound to happen where I’d have to tell the truth about my mother being inside my head. How would I explain that little gem of information? Would he think I was crazy? I chuckled sarcastically. Of course, he would, who in their right mind wouldn’t?
You know Eden, you did really well tonight. You didn’t tell one lie. I know how hard this is for you.
“I don’t want to lie to Drew. I don’t want to lie to anyone anymore, but I really don’t want to lie to him. It’s just been so long since I haven’t lied about even the simplest things, all because you would take control, wreak havoc and then conveniently relinquish control when the time to explain myself came around. I couldn’t exactly blame you without sounding crazy, now could I. I am finally able to separate our thoughts and emotions effectively. So now I’m not thinking one thing but acting or speaking based on your emotions instead. Your feelings and thoughts tend to be on the negative side, and you have no filter, Echo—it can be toxic.”
Maybe so, but Eden, trying not to lie is one thing. But never lying again, period, about anything to anyone—well except Daryl. He’d kill you if he knew you were with a boy today. But seriously, it’s next to impossible! What are you going to do when someone asks you a question where telling a little white lie could make or break a friendship—then what?
“And what if dinosaurs come back to life and crush this house and everyone in it? We could hash over the “what ifs” all day, and it won’t change a damn thing. So, I am going to cross those bridges when I come to them. I can’t live wondering about the what-ifs. I need to see this through—my way.”
“See what through,” Dad said as he knocked on the side of the door frame.
He eyed me with a guarded expression as he shoved his hands in his pockets, made his way across the thick cushion of pink carpet, and sat on my fluffy, white, down comforter. I was actively fighting the impulse to lie and instead said what I could, truthfully. I was quickly learning that how I said things, and what I chose not to include, could make the difference in how someone perceived the things I said.
“I’m building my state of mind up for this coming school year. It’s gonna be different this time, Dad. I’m not going to let everyone else’s negativity get to me anymore. I am who I am, and they can either deal with it or move on. I was just saying it out loud, you know, a little self-induced pep talk.”
So much for not lying! I thought to myself.
“How was your time at the lake with Jennifer?”
“It was, you know—the lake.”
I avoided making direct eye contact for fear of him being able to tell that I was hiding something. He made a humming sound, and I could hear the underlying suspicion that came with it. My heart rate spiked, and I felt it pulsing in my ears. Hiding something like Drew from Dad wasn’t going to
