The water was hot and soothing on her body, washing away the evidence of her first time making love, but not the memory. Ildariastood still and enjoyed it for a moment, and then quickly washed and conditioned her hair, before grabbing the bar of soap.She built up a lather and washed the rest of her body, surprised to find herself sore in some places. It seemed G.G. had beena little overenthusiastic with her breasts. They were tender now as she washed and rinsed them. That surprised her. The tendernessbetween her legs surprised her too. The pain she’d experienced the first time had been minimal really, sudden, sharp and thenquickly gone. She was tender there now, though, and frowned at the knowledge, thinking that the nanos should have healed heralready. She and G.G. must have been unconscious on the floor for—
Oh, right, Ildaria thought suddenly. She hadn’t fed yet today. She should have grabbed a bag or two the moment she woke up,but she’d been distracted by G.G.’s presence in her kitchen, and then Lucian had arrived, which had been followed by she andG.G. doing the Mimi.
Good Lord, G.G. was lucky she hadn’t bit him, Ildaria thought and actually stopped soaping herself up to wonder why she hadn’t, or hadn’t at least been tempted. In the end, she decided she’d simply been too distracted by other needs to recognize that one among them. And then their coupling had been incredibly swift. Both times.
Ildaria had heard the expression “Wham, bam, thank you ma’am,” but with them it had been “Wham, boom” followed by long periodsof unconsciousness. She’d guess in the four hours since Lucian had left, they’d spent about three hours and fifty-four minutesunconscious, and perhaps six minutes actually having sex. Three minutes each time. Or perhaps five minutes the first timebecause they’d had trouble getting her pants off.
Speaking of which, those were a ruin, Ildaria thought as she finished washing and rinsing herself. That was a shame; she hadreally liked those pants.
Shaking her head, she opened the door and reached out to grab the towel she’d hung up to use earlier. It wasn’t there, butsuddenly appeared in front of her. Turning her head, Ildaria found Mary Guiscard holding out the towel.
“You aren’t a failure,” G.G.’s mother told her softly when she didn’t immediately take the towel. “I am. I failed Joshua terriblyby allowing him to witness the turn. Which ultimately means I failed you too, and I am terribly sorry for that.”
Mary Guiscard then released the towel and turned to leave the room.
Ildaria caught the towel as it fell, quickly dried her hair and body, then wrapped it around herself and tucked the end into the top before following the woman out of the bathroom. She found G.G.’s mother seated on the bed next to where H.D. had curled up and gone to sleep.
“I was told you had left G.—Joshua with a neighbor and the neighbor brought him home too soon,” Ildaria said as she walkedto the bed. Picking up the panties, she stepped into them and pulled them up under the towel as she added, “That is not yourfault.”
“Yes, it was. Obviously I was not clear about how long I needed her to watch Joshua. Unfortunately, I had no idea myself.Robert had said sometimes it took a night, sometimes two or three days, so I was vague with her. That was my second mistake,”she added gravely as Ildaria dropped the towel to don the bra.
Ildaria had hesitated, briefly debating turning her back to don it, but then she’d decided she was acting like a silly virginand had decided she would brazen it out. It was just a shame she didn’t feel brazen. She wasn’t used to dressing or undressingin front of anyone. Her grandmother had always been very conservative and given her privacy for dressing once she could manageit on her own. But she’d started this, so she tried to act like it didn’t bother her as she slid her arms into the bra, tuggedit into place and then reached behind her back to do it up. She was just finishing doing it up when G.G.’s mother said thatabout it being the second mistake.
Turning to her with surprise, she asked, “What was the first?”
“Robert wanted to take me to his country estate to turn me. But I didn’t want to be that far from Joshua.” Sighing, she confessed, “I was a hovering type mother, always afraid of losing him to some accident like his father. If Robert hadn’t come along when he did, I’m sure Joshua would have ended up a neurotic boy.”
That idea seemed absurd to Ildaria. She couldn’t imagine G.G. as neurotic. Wouldn’t have happened, she decided.
“But the point is,” Mary continued, “if I had allowed Robert to take me to the country, Millie, the neighbor, couldn’t havebrought Joshua home. He never would have witnessed my turn, and wouldn’t now be refusing to turn.” She shrugged unhappily.“So you see, it is my fault. Not yours. Joshua would already be turned and safe if it were not for my mistakes.”
Unsure what to say to that, Ildaria concentrated on doing up the buttons of her blouse. It was true that performing the turnat Robert’s country estate would have prevented G.G. from witnessing and being traumatized by it. But she suspected the womanhad been flagellating herself for that every day since G.G.’s eighteenth birthday when he’d refused to turn. Ildaria wasn’tone to kick someone when they were down. Besides, her abuela had always said that mistakes were part of living, and the importantthing was to learn from the mistakes you made so you didn’t make them twice, and to forgive yourself for those mistakes, aswell as others for the mistakes they made. She said not forgiving led to bitterness, and a bitter heart was good for nothing.
“But I promise you—”
