“Absolutely.”
“If I think it’s good, you can have the space, the cameras, the lighting, but everything else is down to you.”
“Great!” I shrieked, clapping my hands together.
“But there’s another condition.” She looked at Will as he took another drink of water. “I want a date. I’ll throw in a make-up artist and access to our wardrobe.” He choked on his water and started apologising profusely. She laughed like he was the most adorable man in the world.
He is. Back off.
“Will? What do you say?” I turned away, unable to witness the car crash.
I folded my arms and didn’t protest, closing my eyes as he tried to order his sentences and losing my breath when I thought I heard him say “Yes” I pushed the book and films into my bag. I said, “Thanks again, Margot. Tonight was…great,” and walked away without a second look. I heard them talking behind me, their voices getting smaller the further away I escaped.
Quick.
Get away.
Cover your ears to drown them out faster.
As I reached the bottom of the stairs, I heard his footsteps behind me. I didn’t wait, shutting the doors on him, striding across the road as I tried to rebuild my walls and keep him out again.
“Wait up,” he shouted.
“Got to go, Will.”
His footsteps quickened until he was walking beside me. “What’s wrong?”
I wanted to scream, What’s wrong? You just agreed to go on a date after we dry humped on the floor of a porn set, but instead, I said, “Nothing. I’m just cold and tired. It’s–” I looked at my watch. “Christ, 4 a.m.”
“Are you having second thoughts about this?” he asked. “Has tonight put you off?”
I stopped, a fire still burning, but it wasn’t desire I was feeling now. It was anger and hurt. “Yes,” I replied like a moody teenager. “I’m having second thoughts.”
I watched his throat bob. “Why?”
I crossed my arms, looked away from him. “I know you need all the help with women you can get, but don’t use my porn film as a way of getting a date.”
“Is that right?” he replied.
“I needed you to be professional.”
“Professional?”
I sighed deeply. “This isn’t going to work if you’re going to get cock throb, Will.”
“What are you talking about?”
“In there,” I replied, pointing at the building we’d just left. “You were like a dog in heat!”
“Me?” he shouted, his voice rising into the air. “What about…you?”
“What about me?” I squared up to him, face to face, breath to breath.
He softened and I felt caution in his tone. “Are you telling me you weren’t turned on by that, because it kind of felt like you were, Skye.”
“Charlie’s cock was distracting,” I shot back. “I was hugely turned on by him, I’ll admit.”
“No,” he replied quickly. “I wasn’t talking about that.”
“I shouldn’t have brought you,” I said as I continued to walk. “I should do this by myself.”
“Hold on,” he said. “If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have a cameraman.”
“I can find someone else. Someone who won’t lose their load when a woman rubs ice on her tit.”
“Cut the crap, Skye!” he shouted. “Without me you wouldn’t have the wardrobe, the space to film or the equipment, which is pretty fucking vital for making a porn film!”
“We don’t need…clothes! They’re going to be naked!” I threw my hands up. “And just to be clear. I’d have got all that without you fawning all over Margot.” I stopped, closed my eyes. Why are you doing this? I couldn’t help myself. We’d fallen into our familiar roles because it was easier that way. Safe. Maddening.
“I’ll ignore that,” he replied quietly. “Because we both know that wasn’t the case.”
“Whatever, Will.”
“Jesus, why do I agree to do these things with you?” he said as I stuck my hand out to stop the London bus, vivid red against the dark sky. I purposefully sat at the back while Will sat at the front, and for the rest of the journey we didn’t speak.
He rested his head against the window, and I watched the shadows on his face through the reflection of the glass.
We reached his flat, still quiet.
He took out his keys and unlocked the door.
Switching the lights on in the living room, he started pulling out the sofa bed.
“I can’t believe we haven’t spoken to each other for the last twenty minutes,” he said, fluffing up the pillows that had been trapped underneath. “How childish are you?” I laughed quietly at that. He was the one stomping around.
“Why are you mad at me?” I replied. “You got a date out of tonight, didn’t you?”
“Fucking hell,” he muttered to himself. “Yeah, great. Can’t wait.”
“What?” I laughed. “She seemed like she’d be up for role play,” I said. “I’m sure you’ll find some rubber in her wardrobe to satisfy your kink.”
He stomped through to the kitchen.
“Here.” He threw me a bottle of water from the fridge, which I caught with skill. One hand. Not an ounce of nerves showing through. A bloody miracle. “Can I go to bed now? Cause you’re infuriating.”
“Please do.”
“Before that, can I say that I’m pissed you didn’t bring me a sandwich to get through tonight, or at least a muffin with that chocolate gunk in the middle.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t think of your stomach, William. I had other things on my mind.”
“You always bring me treats to bribe me into doing something. After tonight, I’m expecting a three-tiered fudge cake with very complicated sugar work.” I gave him the finger. “To be fair, it wasn’t a place for food. There would have been all sorts of hygiene issues.” He smiled before leaning against the sink. “Are you really going ahead with this?” he asked. “A fucking porn film?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” I protested as I ran my hands over the pillows. “Sounds like you’re the one having second thoughts.”
“Strangely enough, I don’t really want to add camera guy on a porn film to my CV.”
“You’re so boring.” I pretended to yawn dramatically. “Why
