Instead, I was trying to kill my Skye-induced erection as I stood beside my date for the night.
“Who are we waiting for again?” Margot asked for the fourth time.
“My friends, Stacey and Matt.”
“And just remind me why we’re meeting them?”
To form a barrier. To save me from you.
“They were already coming tonight,” I replied. “I thought it would be fun to join them.”
She trailed a sharp, red nail down my arm. “Anyone would think you don’t want to be alone with me, Will.”
“Oh, no,” I laughed, trying to find a word, a phrase, anything to throw her off that she was exactly right but I caught sight of Stacey and Matt in the distance. Before I could attempt to breathe a sigh of relief, I was thrown. I could have sworn there was another couple behind them. It was dark and my glasses could do with a clean, but there was definitely someone else. I squinted, trying to make out who it was, but before I could fathom it, I heard a laugh like sweet angels and baby unicorns. The woman I adored who had rainbow syrup running through her veins.
Skye.
She was wearing black trousers and one of those tops that looked like the most splendiferous underwear. Fabric lined her breasts, lace covering the parts I wanted to see the most. She’d covered her shoulders in gold glitter and her bubblegum hair lay in thick curls down her back. She laughed again and pushed her hair behind her ears to reveal rainbow flag earrings. She was wearing vintage Chanel shoes, the ones with the gold logo and a single pearl as the heel. I knew that because I was with her when she found them in a second-hand designer clothes shop and almost orgasmed when they fit. She looked like a goddess, a woman I could worship for life and felt like I had. As I focused in on her, Margot started speaking, but I couldn’t hear, didn’t want to. And as they got closer, my focus shifted…to a guy on her right.
“Oh my God, Skye!” Margot shouted, pulling her in for a hug. “It’s so good to see you.”
“Margot,” Skye replied, a half smile appearing that brought out the dimples in her cheeks. Fascinating. She returned the hug, before pushing her away. “How are you?” Before she could reply, I moved forward.
“And this is?” I asked, holding out my hand to the Jesus impersonator beside her.
“You don’t remember me, man?” He flicked his long hair over his shoulder. “It’s me, Karma.” Fuck me. Karma. Of course. Skye’s brief dalliance with this man hurt me like a mother fucker. Maybe I’d shut him out of my memory to forget the pain.
“Yeah,” I replied, fiddling with my glasses. “Sorry, I didn’t recognise you without your Buddhist robes.”
“Lost the look a long time ago, man. I’m a born-again Christian now.” I wanted to ask if that meant he didn’t have sex before marriage, but I could only phrase it in my head as, Don’t you dare fuck her. Don’t even think about fucking her, and decided to leave it for another time.
“Well, I for one am really pleased to see you again,” I said sarcastically. “We’ll welcome him back into the fold won’t we, Stace.”
“Always,” she replied as Matt whispered into her ear. A smile appeared and I knew she was lost to the conversation. Didn’t I have any allies here?
“William,” Skye said, stepping forward. “I’m sure you don’t mind us crashing your double date.”
“Not at all,” I replied as she threaded her arm through Karma’s. I followed them, trying not to fixate on where their bodies met. It was chaste and not at all sexual, but I was wrestling with wanting to drop kick him if he fell in love with her tonight and wanting to do the same if he didn’t.
Fuck, we’re complicated.
“Who the hell is that?” Margot whispered against my ear. I froze at her touch, wanting to shake her off me like a spider. I couldn’t believe I’d agreed to a second date. The first one was like torture. I counted down the minutes to what would be considered an acceptable time to suggest we end the night and mumbled my way through letting her down gently. When I uttered the words, Let’s end it on a high, she wanted to take it higher, inviting me back to her flat. The thought of kissing her let alone doing more left me cold. A quick peck on the cheek was a trial and jail time was her text, reminding me that the use of her filming equipment was still up for debate. A second date may seal the deal. This seemed to be a good compromise. A second date with Stacey and Matt acting as my buffers.
And now Karma and Skye.
Christ, she was beautiful. And glorious. And wonderful. Sexy, did I mention sexy?
FML with a cherry on top.
I’d never been in love before Skye. I imagined it feeling like tingles and happiness. A smile I couldn’t lose. A source of safety and power where you felt you could take on anything and smash the fuck out of it.
I didn’t realise it would be constant longing and a fear of everything.
Relationships, if you could call them that, were a series of embarrassing disasters. When I was a teenager, I dated to try to make sense of my body changes. The nagging voice in my head telling me I was getting older and needed to take my body with me. Sexual experiences were quick and unfulfilling. Then I met Skye and when you’re in love with a dream, a wish that wouldn’t come true,
