The scale of what I was about to do could have overwhelmed me, but Margot had cured that. Her presence added to my confidence and another feeling I couldn’t explain but could only identify as a drive within me, fuelled by my grief, or the love for my brother that was my cushion even when times were rough. I’d lost Elliott, but I’d never lose my love for him.
“How are you feeling?” A whoosh of someone sat down beside me, on the floor and at my feet. I immediately felt the tightening in my core, stomach and…other places. I allowed myself to glance at his face, the lines of his jaw, the dimples, crinkles and lines I knew like my own. I took a deep breath and smiled, couldn’t help it.
“Good,” I replied, meeting his eyes. “This feels good.”
He didn’t reply. Dropped his head instead. So unsure of what to say next and I understood that, I so did. I’d thought about this moment since he’d left me, breathless and wanting against the wall. Wanting more. Wanting everything I’d thought about since we met, even though it terrified me. I wondered what my opening line would be, Hey, you. Hi. How have you been? all seemed so small for the moment we’d shared. Because we hadn’t just shared it. We devoured it.
“It’s nice of Margot to be here,” he said, and I didn’t like her name on his lips. Crazy, I know. Maybe that was what years of unrequested love did to you?
“Hmm, mmm.”
He adjusted his glasses whenever he was nervous. I waited. He adjusted. “I just wanted to let you know that the other night, Margot and I, we didn’t…”
“Yeah, she said,” I replied, shutting the conversation down. I nibbled on the end of my pen and felt that familiar push and pull that defined our relationship. The weight of feeling turned on yet frightened, loved but scared. “Is that all, William, because I’ve got shit to do.”
He looked shocked for a pinch of time but covered it well, pulling in his mouth and nodding. “Yeah…because I too…have shit to do. Probably not as much shit as you but still plenty of shit. Mounds of it, in fact.”
“You’re funny.”
“This is how it’s going to be?” he asked, a lopsided smile appearing. “You’ve roped me in to filming a porn film for you and this is how you treat me?”
“Thank you,” I said softly, draping my arm around his shoulder. “For being here and–” Take a deep breath. Face it head on. Get it over with. “–for…what you were prepared to do. We probably wouldn’t be here now if it wasn’t for you.”
“I don’t think that’s true.”
“It meant a lot,” I said. “After everything that happened that night.”
“Yeah. About that,” he said, his leg moving closer, his head to my knee. I almost threaded my fingers through his hair. “I think we should talk, maybe not now but–”
“Not now.”
“Later, then,” he replied, his face dropping. “There’s a lot I think we need to say.”
“What do we need to say?” I whispered and the fluttering that came whenever he was near deepened, passing through my body quickly but buried in and vast. “What do you need to say?”
“Everything.” I placed my hand on the side of his face. “I need you,” he rasped, the words holding a thousand meanings.
I squeezed my eyes tight and bit my lip, suppressing the sob I was holding back. Years of accumulated emotion threatening to pour out. “I need you too,” I whispered, taking in his face.
“Can we just have ten minutes together before this starts?” I shook my head against his. “Five, then. It’s just…Christ, I’ve…been unable to think about anything else but–”
“What?”
“Skye–”
“Tell me,” I whispered.
“I want to know what you taste like.”
The moan I’d poured out against his ear shocked us both and just as he was about to speak again, a voice hauled us apart.
“Skye.” My stomach sank as I looked up to find Margot. Not now. Give us time to do this. “Reid and James are ready. We shouldn’t keep them waiting.”
“Of course.” I held my chest, pushing my hand against my heart to try to stop the thud.
Picking up my notebook, I stopped to glance at Will, silently cursing that I didn’t have time to undress him and wishing we weren’t engaging in foreplay on the set of a porn film.
“Later.”
He smiled and I let out a shaky breath, pulling my shoulders back as I tried to gather myself.
“If I make it through this alive.”
“Breathe. You can do this,” he said, taking my hand. “I’m right here. Just find me when you need to.”
The magnitude of the moment returned, hanging in the air and almost giving me the urge to part it with outstretched arms and splayed fingers. Anxiety came in many forms and I tried to hide all aspects of mine. Will was able to see through the smokescreen and he was saving me again, just his presence and the right words brought my head back into the room.
“Wes will help you with the camera,” I said. “He knows what I want, and he’ll show you were to position yourself.” He nodded, standing up as he shook Wes’s hand. “Everything’s the same as what we’ve already talked about. I just need the camera angles close up.”
“Got it.” He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck, lifting his khaki jumper and blue t-shirt with his arms. The strip of skin between his belted jeans and his tops was tanned, a hint of happy trail made me…happy. His legs, long and lean, were defined by dark jeans, tan boots, and a stance that oozed ultimate sex appeal that made me
