“Cher and Reggie,” Will said, looking at them side by side. “Don’t go getting any ideas, Reg.” He pointed at him. “You’ll break Cher if you get frisky.”
“Reggie isn’t gay,” I replied, pulling the Bulldog who was stubbornly fixed to the pavement. “But Cher is.”
“Ah, so it’s Reg we need to protect.”
“If Cher attempts anything, I’m not sure Reggie will notice.”
“Poor guy,” Will replied before whispering, “Dick issues.”
“Don’t listen,” I said, stroking Cher’s ears. “In comparison to Reg, yes, he has dick issues but when getting it on with another Chiuhaua or…small dog equivalent, he’s positively staff like.”
“Good for him,” Will said. “There’s something I don’t have to worry about.” He strode out onto the beach, but not before he made a throw-away comment that stopped me in my steps. “But you already know that, don’t you?”
Gah!
We hadn’t spoken about the night I caught Will masturbating in my living room. It wasn’t a topic you easily brought up in conversation. Or perhaps we were avoiding it just like you would a missile bomb. Because essentially, that’s what it was. The night two friends almost took it further, blowing everything apart and bursting our friendship at the seams. Neither of us wanted to do anything to jeopardise what we had. We were proof that men and women could have a friendship without sex getting in the way.
But why then couldn’t I stop visualising his cock?
“Right, what are you thinking? Big guy at the back, Cher in front?” he asked, moving on from the dick visual he’d handed me on a plate.
“You’re the photographer,” I replied with a shrug.
I am not affected, I am not affected.
He laughed. “I’m a journalist for a photography magazine.”
“Exactly. You take pictures.” He fiddled with the edge of his glasses and I wondered why his eyes were suddenly so memorising. Had I noticed them before cock (BC) or after (AC)? With his glasses on, his eyes became bigger, flecks of gold, eyelashes magnified. He was magnified. Maybe I was looking at him through a different lens, now? A gilded magnifying glass with a rose handle where everything became instantly brighter and more intense. Stop it, Skye. Keep to arsey banter. “Go on then, get snapping.”
Will had offered to take pictures I could use as promotional shots for my dog grooming business. I was thinking business cards, website, flyers. Stacey had come up with an amazing name based solely on her mother’s Liverpudlian accent and a play on words. Vanity Fur was born. Logo designed and ready to go.
I’d barely had time to breathe since deciding to sell the café. It sold quickly, being snapped up by a couple who had no experience. Me being me, I agreed to help them out by guiding them into running a busy café in exchange for staying in the flat. It seemed like a fair deal but now that things were moving with the new business, I was wondering how it would all fit together.
And still thinking about Will’s cock.
“How’s Stace?” Will asked, bringing me back to the beach instead of my filthy thoughts.
“Goo-goo eyed.”
“I guess drooling over an escort is better than a financial analyst.”
“Just,” I replied. Stacey had just dumped her cheating financial analyst and interviewed a male escort for an article in Upfront, the women’s magazine she worked for. It was clear that he’d left an impression. All over her libido.
“Why don’t I get assignments like that?” Will said. “I could do with some excitement.”
“Are things definitely over between you and Holly?” Will had an on-and-off relationship with a woman he met on Tinder. The last I’d heard she’d called him emotionally constipated and they were officially off again. For some reason I felt happy about this development. A flutter definitely occurred in my cold heart and I spent the rest of the day wondering why I felt so conflicted and confused. Ah, there was nothing like cock to bring you some clarity. Good cock could help with comprehension and lucidity. Will’s appeared to have an extra superpower to pinpoint the obvious. I had to face it. I’d been hibernating feelings for Will long before his big D entered my life. The big D just made me admit it to myself. The word friendship had been a great place to hide behind. We’re friends. Let’s not do anything to jeopardise that. Ignore his cute glasses and ability to make me laugh until my cheeks ache. Those voices in my head had always been there, but I’d tried to drown them out. I liked him, but I also needed him. He provided stability to my life that otherwise felt like I was forever balancing on tripwire. A relationship featuring bumping body parts could ruin it, so I ignored them.
Now, I’d crossed the friendship line, cock and all, and what started as whispers, was ending in shouts.
But…I find him irritating!
In a charming way…
He was preoccupied with women who were no good for him; he wanked over Catwoman. Yes, he’s got a heart of gold and he’s been there for me when I needed him – big time. He’s changed my tyre in the rain more than once and bled my radiators on a breezy winter night but...Oh fuck, why did everything associated with our relationship sound dirty?
I needed to get laid. Not by him. Someone more on my wavelength. Tattooed and pierced in all the right places.
Stop thinking about his cock!
“Things are officially off with Holly,” he replied. “She posted some stuff I’d left at her flat.” He threw a piece of driftwood and Reggie set off after it, yanking his lead from my hand. “I was very confused when an envelope arrived containing a toothbrush and three condoms.”
“Ever the light traveler,” I muttered, trying to hide my gag reflex at the mention of the
