My brain reminded me I couldn’t put her through the pain I could eventually cause her, but another feeling in my heart told me our love was worth fighting for. We had discovered true love and lost it violently last night. But it was my fault. I should have never given in to my own selfish desires in the first place. What beat in my chest was a mass of angry muscle that would never function without her.
“You okay, son?” Tom, the captain, asked. His eyes were filled with worry.
I shook my head. “Not really, but I have to be.”
“Where’s that girl you’re always with?”
I looked back at the resort. “She’s not coming with me this time.”
“Too bad. I know love when I see it. You two have it.” He whistled before walking away and leaving me in my turmoil of thoughts.
I grabbed my phone and my thumb hovered over her name. I could call her and apologize, but at what cost? I couldn’t be a selfish bastard like my father. I shut the phone off and slipped it into my pocket.
Without her, the sun wouldn’t shine as bright as it once did. The heartache would serve as a reminder to not fall in love again, and to stay away from Mags so she actually could have a shot at happiness—even if it killed me.
Day Seven
10 AM - 11 AM - Breakfast
I closed my hand around the cup, feeling the warmth, taking in deep drags of the espresso fumes. I couldn’t sleep a wink last night. Luca’s words kept running through my mind.
Coward.
I told him how I felt, but he couldn’t see through his fear to give us a chance. I had thought we were past that, but apparently I was wrong.
“You okay, Mags?” Eve sat beside me with her coffee on the balcony in her room. I couldn’t be alone after last night.
My shoulders shrugged. “As okay as I can be right now.”
Taking a sip of her coffee she said, “He’ll probably come around. If not, you’ll find someone better. It was a shitty thing for him to leave without telling you.”
I stared down at the cream-colored coffee and blew into it, the liquid rippling within the confines of the mug. I didn’t want someone better. I wanted Luca, but when was enough... enough?
The most alluring of memories were the worst, cutting my heart up as if they were shards of glass. This island had been a refuge, a place of guaranteed warmth even on the coldest of days.
I glanced out at the ocean. The deep royal blue surface rose and fell with rhythmic ease. Just being here filled me with a sadness I wasn’t sure I could shake without him. “It wasn’t meant to end like this.”
She reached over and patted my leg. “I know. But by tonight we’ll be back in Violet Ridge.”
I brought the mug to my lips and swallowed the warm liquid. I really missed him, and he was never really mine to miss.
“I got a call from the police department this morning.”
My head whipped toward her. “What? What did they say? About Gerald?”
She wrung her hands together. “Well, the restraining order went through. They told me it’s valid for two years, but I can get it renewed.”
“That’s good.” I nodded. “What happens to him now?”
“They said he’s looking at serving a year in jail and a fine of two hundred dollars.” She released a shaky breath.
My brows raised. “That’s it? He could’ve killed you.”
“I know, but apparently that’s just how the law works.”
“At least they got the restraining order.” I gave her a reassuring smile. “Are you excited to go back home without him?”
She grinned. “Oh my gosh, yes. I can’t wait to get home and go to work. I can even hang out with you all again!”
Warmth began to replace the coldness I felt from Luca. “Thank goodness for that!”
The rest of the morning we relaxed and swam in the ocean. I was thankful for getting my best friend back, but I wondered if Luca missed me. I knew he cared about me, but I couldn’t understand why he would push me away like he had.
His father had embedded all kinds of doubts in his heart, but I was the one paying for them.
Several days after returning home
It was hell, living without seeing her perfect smile on her plump lips. Had I known falling in love meant to risk this kind of fucking pain, I would have kept pursuing superficial one night stands and pushing her away.
The tears that came were not quiet or controlled. They exploded and fell as I sobbed to draw in a breath. My lungs heaved. After I’d had her, I didn’t want anyone else. It was my pain to bear, and I would do it.
I’d just showered after I got home from an evening shift at the Emergency Room. I lost a patient from a car accident. Her body was too broken, and telling her husband was the hardest thing to do. Telling the spouse never used to be difficult for me, but after experiencing love for myself, I couldn’t imagine the pain they endured hearing the love of their life was gone.
My head hung in my hands as I sat on my sofa in the dark until a knock rapped at my door. I sniffed and wiped my eyes before going over to check the peephole. It was pretty late, and I wasn’t expecting anyone.
Fuck. Out of everyone who’d come by, she’d know I had been crying.
I swung open the door. “Hi, Mom.”
Her hair hung past her shoulders in chestnut brown strands. Her face was bright, and her smile curved into a frown as she took in my appearance. “Have you been crying?”
“No,” I mumbled, refusing to meet her gaze.
She huffed, pushing past me into my apartment. She marched straight into the kitchen and began to rummage through my fridge. “Don’t lie to me. Now, have
