“Elevator down, that’s all.” The emotional rasp in his own voice both startled and concerned him. “We’re heading back to the ground floor. We’ll be back on your mother Earth in minutes.”
A concerning reality circled through him. A thought pushed into his mind. Liam’s terror. Right into his head. Like they were—
No.
“I’m gonna be sick…” Liam said.
Mike rolled onto his back and brought Liam’s body prone. The suit would catch any vomit so there wasn’t any concern in that regard, but this position would settle his stomach.
::Just breathe, Liam. We’ll be on the ground in a minute.::
“Oh, God.”
::Take it easy. I got you.::
It wouldn’t take long to land, but Mike could guess it was an eternity to Liam, and an uncomfortable one at that if Liam’s restless twists and moans were any hint. He brought them to a stop before they hit the ground and powered off the engines. He landed on his ass with a grunt and a curse.
The sounds coming from Liam’s communication unit resembled prayer…or sobs…or both.
“Easy,” Mike said, for what must have been the hundredth time.
He was forced to pry Liam’s hands from around his neck and legs from around his waist before he could coax a separation. He rolled into a seated position, urged Liam onto his back and made quick work of the fastenings of Liam’s helmet.
Liam’s skin was grayish white. His eyes were wild, and his nose ran. His lips trembled. His gauntleted hands held onto Mike’s armored forearms with a determined grip.
Twice Liam tried to say something.
Twice all he managed was a croak.
Mike unsnapped the chin fastening of his own helmet and pulled it off. He let it dangle against his back and neck while he took experimental breaths. He didn’t detect the scent of the suit’s flight chemicals, which was good. Their absence in the air was proof the suit hadn’t malfunctioned. Then why had Liam tumbled so badly? Before they’d risen into the air he’d appeared to be fine.
No.
Mike recalled how intermittent waves of unsettlement had shimmered around and within Liam on more than one occasion.
He’d dismissed it as something expected. Free flight wasn’t the norm for their species so of course there would be some concern.
But what if it had been more? Had Liam hidden a deeper fear?
If so, why then had he volunteered for flight action?
The answer came moments later, via Liam’s sobs and loud self-loathing. A flood of incoherent sputtering and protestations spilled between them, interlaced with wild promises of greater success.
That told Mike much. In fact, the self-hatred and grief that spilled from Liam was what told him the full story. Shit-fuck. Liam had volunteered for flight duty because of Mike.
“I’m sorry,” Liam sobbed. “I’ll get better. I can do this. I’ll do better. I’m sorry. Please, I’m sorry.”
Guilt lashed Mike. How could he have been so oblivious?
What the shit-space was wrong with him? The last moments of Arvidnan’s life spilled through his memory again. Now Liam— dammit, no!
This wasn’t a complication he would accept. “Live for me,”
Arvidnan had urged, and shit-fuck, he was. Living didn’t require another adnama inside his heart and mind.
Steve’s thought drifted feather-light into his mind. ::Does it necessitate its absence?::
Mike slammed closed the mental door on his pod-kin. If Steve didn’t watch himself, the next thing he’d slam would be his fist into his pod-kin’s face.
The approach of medical assistance arrived in his awareness like a rope thrown to a drowning man. He was that man, drowning, drowning, drowning.
Liam was sobbing in earnest. Harsh, soul-wrenching sounds of grief tore from his throat and shook his body. He wrapped his arms around his torso and rocked from side to side.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Liam wailed. “Don’t be mad. Please don’t hate me. I can do this. I will. Please, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
Grief. Nausea. Emotional anguish. Self-loathing. Was he feeling Liam’s mental space, or was Liam feeling his?
What was he doing? Liam hadn’t signed up for the link. Mike had done that to him and without his consent. Just a kiss? Bullshit.
His mating scent had filled the air and tweaked both of them. Liam was along for the ride of Mike’s mistake.
Liam wailed, then choked so hard he started to cough.
Fuck. Arvidnan wouldn’t tolerate his bullshit cruelty however inadvertent. More, Mike didn’t recognize himself anymore.
Yesterday, he would have said indifference and emotional abuse were not in his nature. Today?
The question forefront in his mind was what excuse he’d tell himself for his recent cruel unconcern for Liam’s emotional health, which he’d transmitted to Liam?
Mike rearranged himself so he was crouched over Liam. He propped himself with a gauntleted hand on the ground and tucked his other hand inside the metal of the external shell. Liam’s sporadic, body-shaking shudders could be felt. Sweet stars, what had he done?
‘Hey, hey, hey,” he murmured as another violent tremor shook Liam. “Easy does it. Breathe…breathe…
“You hate me,” Liam sobbed. “What did I do to make you hate me?”
He clamped down on the guilt that flooded his mind before it shifted into Liam’s. “Hate you? No.”
“You do.” The wail rose in volume. Liam twisted sideways, closed his eyes and pushed his face against the grassy ground.
“Why? Why?”
If Arvidnan was here, he’d kick Mike’s ass. No question about that. Worse, Mike wouldn’t try to fight back because he knew he deserved a good ass-kicking. No question about that either.
Mike opened his mind and poured warmth into the link between them. It was new, bright and vulnerable, equal parts victory and catastrophe, but it existed and that meant… He shook off that line of thought. He wasn’t ready to think about that right now.
“Look at me, Liam.”
Liam shook his head and pressed his face harder against the grass.
“C’mon, look at me,” Mike coaxed. “Liam?”
Although in profile, the adorable thrust of Liam’s bottom lip was apparent. “I can’t.”
The quiver in Liam’s voice tore at his heart. Using his teeth, and with a few practiced moves, Mike tugged his gauntlet off and tossed it to
