They’d had to swap roles once Roisin caught sight of her crowning glory with Jenny tossing her own words back at her. ‘But I’m meeting Shay tonight, I don’t have time to wait for it to fecking well grow back! And I don’t suit bloody hats,’ she’d wailed. Jenny had followed her to the front door apologising the whole way and wringing her hands over what Eoin would say when he got home and saw Ophelia.
Roisin had driven home feeling sure every time she stopped at the lights that the person in the car next to hers was shaking their heads and thinking ‘Jaysus, would you look at the state of that, God love her.’ It was ridiculous but she was bordering on hysteria, and it wasn’t all down to the fringe she knew. The fringe had merely exacerbated the tension building over meeting Shay tonight. When they’d gone for coffee the last time she’d seen him it had felt relaxed, and natural, but going out for a dinner well, that fell into the formal bracket of a date didn’t it? She’d make an eejit of herself, she was sure of it. Well, one thing was certain she’d thought, bursting through the door of Mammy’s apartment, she’d fecking well look like one.
If she’d been looking for words of comfort from her nearest and dearest, ‘Mummy! You look like Mr Nibbles,’ wasn’t what she was after. Mr Nibbles might be cute but she had no wish to take after him whatsoever and she did not have buck teeth and chubby cheeks. As for Mammy she hadn’t had to say a word. The way she’d clapped her hand to her mouth said it all. Of course, being Mammy, she’d had to say something and when she’d finally found her voice it had come out in a squeak. ‘Jenny’s done you proud so she has.’ The only one who failed to spot the difference or simply didn’t care was Pooh, who let her know he thought she was looking just fine. She shoved him away and not trusting herself to speak took herself off to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. That had been well over an hour ago.
‘Ah c’mon now, Rosi. I’ve bought my bag of tricks. I’ll have you looking gorgeous in no time,’ Moira cajoled. ‘Sure, it can’t be that bad.’
‘It is!’
‘And I’ve bought my black Valentino’s. You know, the ones with the silver diamantes on the strap that you love,’ Aisling called.
‘You never let me wear those,’ Moira griped.
‘This isn’t about you, Moira. And besides, this is a crisis, so it is. The poor girl’s been butchered.’
Noah was next, ‘And, Mummy, I will give you the biggest and best cuddle even though I’m getting to be a big boy.’ There was a pause followed by. ‘Is that what you wanted me to say, Nana? Can I have a biscuit now?’
‘Shush, Noah.’
Roisin looked at her reflection, trying to be objective. Jenny had done a lovely cut on the whole, her hair was shiny and had a shampoo advertisement bounce to it now the scraggly ends were gone. Maybe she was being silly. Maybe it was just that she wasn’t used to having such a short fringe. A new look was always a shock, that much of what Mammy had said was true. Perhaps she was looking for an excuse not to meet Shay tonight. Self-sabotaging. ‘Sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone, Roisin,’ she said, a misty patch forming on the mirror. ‘Roisin the Brave, remember?’ If Shay was worth a pinch of salt, he wouldn’t care what she looked like, he’d be interested in what she had to say tonight. She reminded herself that that was exactly what she’d found so attractive about him in the first place, good looks and sexy bod aside. It had been the way his head tilted slightly to the left when she was talking, as though he was trying to listen harder. He’d found her interesting and he’d laughed when she said something funny. He genuinely seemed to like her just for her being her.
She took a deep breath and knowing her mammy and sisters were likely pressed up against the door listening, she called, ‘Back away from the door, I’m coming out.’
She heard Moira mutter something about ‘Who does she think she is, a cornered criminal?’
Roisin turned the lock and flung the door open. Her sisters stared at her, eyes wide, and she saw Moira clamp her mouth shut and press her lips together tightly so as not to let the laugh bubbling in her throat escape. Aisling was digging her nails into her palms in an effort to distract herself.
‘What?’ Roisin demanded. ‘C’mon, say your piece, the pair of you. Let’s get it over with.’
‘No, it’s nothing,’ Moira’s voice cracked on the word nothing.
‘Moira, behave yourself,’ Maureen warned.
‘Oh, Mammy, I think I have to say it or I might burst. It just keeps going around in my head.’
‘No. Keep your gob shut. We’ve had enough drama as it is. You’ll not get a piece of cake if you stir up more trouble.’
‘Say what?’ Roisin asked, not sure if she wanted to know but wanting to know in that way you did.
Moira moved out of Mammy’s reach. ‘It’s that old nursery rhyme, it popped in my head as soon as I saw you. Simple Simon met a pieman,’ she
