Then she startled him by reaching for his hand. Slowly, she drew it to her cheek, never taking her eyes from him. Her skin was cool and pale, but she held his hand to her face. ‘Will you help me, Dalton?’
Her unexpected touch soothed him in ways words could not. ‘With what?’
She met his gaze and admitted, ‘I want to enjoy life more. To live and not be afraid. Will you teach me?’
Chapter Nine
Regina awakened at dawn and chose a blue riding habit from Lady Brevershire’s belongings. She had decided to take another step towards ridding herself of the ever-present fear. It was time to go out riding alone and face that invisible monster.
Her maid, Nell, had arrived from London late yesterday evening, and the young girl helped her to dress. The riding habit was loose-fitting, but Regina added a belt to secure it. The thought of an early morning ride was invigorating. Today, she would begin her transformation. No longer would she be a wallflower, but instead, she intended to become a rebel.
‘Would you like me to pin up your hair, my lady?’ Nell asked.
Regina started to agree and then stared at herself in the looking glass. Was there any need to look like a lady? Who would care if she pinned up her hair or not? No one at all.
For the past few years, she had bound back her hair, as if it gave her a sense of control. She didn’t want the vivid red colour to attract attention from men, and she’d done what she could to hide it. But now, she decided to weave it into a looser braid.
‘No, I’ll take care of it.’
Nell offered to help, but Regina did it herself and donned her hat. For a moment, she glanced at the adjoining door that led to Dalton’s room.
A true rebel would go and awaken him. Perhaps invite him to join her. But it would be unwise to awaken a sleeping man. He might pull her into the bed with him. Her skin warmed at the thought of being beside him, his body close to hers. A ripple of interest flooded through her, and she could hardly believe she was imagining it. When had she begun to desire Dalton?
Perhaps it was because he had never forced her. Even their false marriage had been an invitation to escape, not an abduction. Even the few kisses they had shared had filled her with yearning.
Her mind was reeling at the knowledge that she was starting to consider the idea of truly marrying him. And that meant sharing his bed.
She closed her eyes, pushing the thought away. No, it was far too soon for that.
‘Do you want me to come riding with you, Lady Regina?’ Nell asked.
She did, but this wasn’t about clinging to the past. It was about overcoming the shadows that haunted her—and this was her first small step.
‘No, I’d rather go alone.’ She needed time to think about what she wanted to do next. The idea of riding alone seemed both terrifying and wonderful.
‘Are you certain? Not even a footman?’
‘I’m only going to ride around the grounds. I doubt if anyone would attack me, so long as I remain at Cairnross.’ Upon one of the smaller tables, she spied a dirk within its sheath. ‘But I will take this with me, in case anything happens.’ Perhaps it was meant to be decorative, but as a precaution, Regina slipped it beneath her belt. If anyone was foolish enough to attack her, she could defend herself.
She tiptoed outside her bedroom door and down the stairs before she walked outside. When she reached the stables, she ordered the groom to saddle a horse for her.
‘Will ye be wanting an escort, my lady?’ he asked.
‘No, thank you. My husband will join me in a little while,’ she lied. The groom appeared uncertain, but once he’d helped Regina mount her mare, she urged the animal into a trot.
The morning sun had just risen above the horizon when Regina rode past the cottages and towards the open field. The grass was so green, she marvelled at the intense colour. She nudged the mare into a canter, revelling in the vast freedom. Here, no one could give her orders about what to do or how to behave. She could be as unladylike as she wanted. No one would care.
Regina followed the edge of a copse of trees. In the distance, a loch gleamed in the morning light, threading its way among the birches. The sun was warm on her face, and she smiled as the wind blew her hair back. For a few moments, she breathed in the crisp early summer air, feeling bold, for there was no one here to threaten her.
In many ways, she wished she could have come to Scotland sooner. Instead of being the fearful, shy wallflower, she could embrace the true parts of herself. She decided that she liked being defiant and breaking the rules.
She explored the estate for nearly an hour before she heard hooves approaching. It was Dalton, and she guessed that Nell or one of the servants had alerted him. Regina waited for a moment, and then realised a true rebel wouldn’t remain in place, waiting. If he wanted to join her, he would have to catch her first.
She urged the mare faster, into a hard gallop. The green grasses turned into a blur as she rode across the fields, alongside the loch. She didn’t know where she was going or what she intended to do when Dalton caught up to her. For now, it was enough to seize her freedom, and it filled her with joy.
Regina relished the feeling of the wind tearing her braid free. When she glanced behind, he was gaining on her. She saw a low hedge coming close, and she leaned into the animal, preparing to jump. The mare obeyed, and for a moment, Regina felt as if she were flying. The horse was breathing hard
