‘But it was all right to share my bed, to risk a child?’ he shot back. ‘Why would you use me in that way?’
His words struck her cold, for that was exactly what she had done. She had never thought of it that way, but she had used him to overcome her fears. He had taught her that the union between a man and a woman could be beautiful...but she had never intended it to be permanent between them.
Her heart ached, and tears rose to her eyes. ‘Dalton, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.’
He was pacing, his restlessness evident. Then he paused a moment and studied her. ‘You were planning to run away, weren’t you? That’s why you’ve been so distant.’
She nodded. ‘When you told me the Bow Street Runner was coming here, I suspected he had learned the truth. I didn’t see a choice but to leave.’
The bleakness in his eyes nearly shredded her heart. ‘Did you never once believe that I would want to protect you?’ He shook his head in disgust. ‘You gave up on our marriage before it even had a chance.’
‘I thought I was protecting you,’ she answered dully. ‘If you weren’t truly my husband, then your family name would not be dragged into scandal.’ Though it was in his nature, wanting to guard her, there were consequences for her actions. While some might agree that it was an accidental death from self-defence, others might call her a murderer. She didn’t want Dalton to be whispered about in drawing rooms for the rest of his life. He deserved better.
‘It’s far too late for that, Regina. Everyone saw us married in London. Even if they realise it was not a true marriage, they will speak poorly of us.’ He stopped and regarded her. ‘And if I am not legally your husband, if any charges are brought against you, then I can do nothing.’
She shook her head. ‘I never wanted you to be caught up in this, Dalton.’ It wasn’t fair or right. Inwardly, she was trembling with fear.
‘Because you have no faith in me?’
‘No. It’s because I deserve whatever happens to me.’ A shudder crossed over her as she thought of the hangman’s noose. ‘I was young, I was reckless, and I caused a man to die.’ The guilt filled her up inside, drowning her with the knowledge that she could never undo those sins.
‘It wasn’t your fault!’ he insisted. ‘You are not to blame for it.’
‘They will say it was my fault,’ she said quietly. ‘After all, I allowed him to pay a call upon me so late at night. A true lady would never do such a thing. They will say that I encouraged him, that I made him promises. And then they will say that I killed him.’
‘It was an accident,’ he said hoarsely. ‘You know this.’
She did, but she was also realistic about how society would see her. They would be delighted at the idea of her wrongdoing.
‘My father and our footman helped to dispose of his body. What we did was wrong.’ At the time, they had all feared the worst. Her father had been determined to keep anyone from learning the truth, and Frederick had agreed to help.
‘What Mallencourt did was wrong, also.’ His words weighed upon her, though she didn’t truly believe they were comparable. The baron had attacked her, and she had taken his life.
‘I’ve always known I might have to face the consequences for what I did,’ she admitted. ‘It’s why I wanted to disappear in Scotland.’
He stared at her for a time. ‘Are you really giving up on us, Regina? Or are you simply afraid?’
A hard lump caught in her throat, her heart aching. ‘I’m sorry, Dalton. I’m so sorry for what I’ve done. If you want me to take my father and leave, I will understand.’ She didn’t want him to share this burden—not when there was no good outcome.
‘And what if I want to help you?’ he asked quietly.
She closed her eyes. ‘I think it would be better if you just let me go.’
Dalton couldn’t believe what she was saying. He moved in close, taking her waist in his hands. ‘So, none of this was real? You came to Scotland to escape your past, and you won’t allow me to protect you. I’ve said that I love you, but that means nothing.’
Her eyes were filled with tears, but she took his hands and stepped back. ‘I never wanted to involve you in this.’
It burned him that she had no faith, no trust in him. But worse came the realisation that she didn’t love him in return. He had done everything he could for her, and it wasn’t enough. A darkness unfurled inside with frustration at himself.
He was responsible for bringing her into danger. By hiring the Bow Street Runner, Mr Sidney had reopened the investigation and learned the truth about Mallencourt’s death. If Dalton had not interfered, she might not be in this situation.
‘I’m trying to do the right thing, Dalton,’ she whispered. ‘I’m setting you free to live the life you deserve.’
But he didn’t want to be free. For just once in his life, he wanted to be enough.
He released her from his grasp, feeling as if their makeshift marriage had shattered. Instead, she would walk away, abandoning everything they had built together.
The door closed behind her, and he sank into a chair. Would she truly rather run away than allow him to help her? Did he mean that little to her? His mind was numb, his insides churning.
She wanted him to let her face this disaster alone. But he refused to remain passive. Whether or not they were married by law, he had agreed to take care of her for better or for worse. She needed him, even if she didn’t want his help.
She was his wife in body and spirit, if not legally. Dalton didn’t care that she had
