“How’d that happen?” Viking asked.
“I was watching you and he jerked away. Don’t know what made him think he was getting far like that. Fucking moron.” Peanut shrugged as they both headed to the cab of the truck.
“Thought it might be Phoebe distracting you,” Viking said as they climbed in on their respective sides. Peanut glared at him.
“What the fuck is your deal with Phoebe, damn it. I can tell you that if I have my way, she won’t be going anywhere so you’d better get fucking used to her being around.” Peanut gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles going white.
“Damn it, why can’t you see that this chick is just going to use you and spit you out when she’s done? What will that do to Jasmine’s confidence? If you let her think Phoebe is going to be a mother to her and then Phoebe up and leaves, what are you going to tell her? I just don’t get why you can’t see this woman for what she is.” Peanut turned to Viking, tired of having the same conversation they’d been having for weeks.
“Viking, I don’t know why you think you can predict what Phoebe’s going to do. It’s possible that she might decide to leave and there isn’t anything I can do about that, but I have to try. Even if it ends badly. She’s it for me, man. I know you don’t understand this but sometimes a man just knows these things. Sometimes you find someone and the instant you see them you just know that she’s the one. It’s like fate. I know that you’ve never connected easily with anyone in your life because of your fucked-up childhood but I don’t fucking care. You need to get a grip. I’m not going to change my mind so stop trying to use my daughter to convince me.”
Viking stared at him for a long moment before he turned to the window with a shrug, likely realizing that nothing he said was going to matter. Peanut had already made up his mind and they’d known each other long enough that Viking knew that he wouldn’t be able to change his decision.
Peanut sighed heavily as he started the truck. He pulled out onto the road heading to the warehouse where Rage intended to question the two men. Neither of them spoke and the silence in the truck was deafening. He gripped the steering wheel, feeling the huge cavern opening up between them with a little twinge of pain. Viking was more like a brother to him than any other man in the club and it was hard knowing Viking wasn’t on his side. Peanut regretted the distance between them, but he wouldn’t sacrifice his happiness to prevent it. He rubbed his hand along the back of his neck, glancing briefly at Viking’s profile as he stared out the window silently with his jaw clenched.
Peanut didn’t know what to say to make Viking see that he was pushing Peanut away with his insistence that Phoebe was just using him. He felt for his brother, but he was wrong about Phoebe. Even if she later chose to leave them, it wouldn’t be because she’d used him. She didn’t have that in her. Phoebe was a nurturer and that was likely what had led her into the arms of that abusive son-of-a-bitch in the first place. He knew that she hadn’t seen the bastard’s flaws until it was too late, and by then she was trapped. Peanut turned when the light changed. He knew that she likely didn’t see his flaws either. That fact worried Peanut. She thought he was the man he pretended to be when he was with her and not as the man he truly was. Would she run when she discovered he wasn’t a good man? He didn’t know but he damn sure hoped she wouldn’t. Fuck, he was going to make himself mad thinking about this shit so fucking hard.
At home he’d tried to keep his temper in check and sugarcoat any jobs he did for the club but even he knew that shit wasn’t going to last. Eventually she’d see something or hear something that would show her his true nature. He loved his daughter to distraction, and he damned sure liked Phoebe a hell of a lot and he’d never hurt them, but his life wasn’t lily white. Nope, he was a biker. He ran guns and drugs for shit’s sake and more often than not he was on the wrong side of the law. It might not matter if she wasn’t on the run from an abusive asshole who’d sold her a lie but since she was, he wasn’t sure how finding out the truth about him would affect her. He hoped like hell she’d trust him by the time she discovered his shortcomings, but he couldn’t know for sure.
He knew better than anyone that life didn’t come with any guarantees. He wasn’t going to deny himself a chance at happiness because he was worried that either he or Jasmine might get hurt. Pain was part of life and if Phoebe chose to leave them, then so be it. Not that he thought that would happen. He’d started to notice stuff appearing around the house that led him to believe she was already starting to think of his place as home. Pillows had shown up on the couch in the living room with new mats in the kitchen and bathrooms. He’d smiled each time he noticed something new appear. The new stuff might not mean anything big, but each new item gave him hope that she would stay with him and Jazzy.
He
