“Go to sleep, Lovely,” he murmured before kissing her forehead gently.
“You’re sleeping here?” she asked, her voice confused.
“Yep, go to sleep.” He didn’t bother to say anything else. He wanted to hold her even if he couldn’t make love to her. She would just have to get used to him being in her bed. If she wasn’t ready for sex, he was okay with that but he knew what he wanted them to become. Taking their time to get there didn’t bother him.
“I’m not sure this is a good idea, Peanut,” Phoebe whispered into the darkness even as she settled her head into the crook of his neck with a soft little sigh. Even with his cock throbbing, he felt better than he had in a long time with her cuddled in his arms. It didn’t take him long to fall asleep with her warmth snuggled against him.
Chapter Sixteen
Phoebe sat on the edge of the bed in Peanut’s room. She couldn’t believe it had been two weeks since the first night he’d come to her bed. Despite her slight protests, he’d slept with her in his arms every night. Phoebe worried about Jasmine finding out, but Peanut had assured her it was fine. She wasn’t so sure, but she couldn’t deny her need for him. Even though she wanted to stand on her own two feet without anyone to help her, she found herself clinging to Peanut. Not because she was afraid to make it on her own but because she liked having him close. He and Jasmine had become her family in the short time she’d known them and it was quite surreal. She hadn’t had a real family for a long time and having one now made her feel whole in a way she hadn’t felt since before meeting Johnny.
She still didn’t know if she was just a convenience to Peanut, or if he really cared for her. His excitement over the baby was weird too. He showed off the picture every chance he got. Yesterday when Hammer and Star were over with their boys she’d heard him telling Hammer his boy was going to be better at sports than Hammer’s boys ever thought of being. It was odd. She had a feeling that Peanut had already decided they were a couple. Phoebe had tried to tell herself that she shouldn’t allow herself to hope that he wanted a real relationship with her, but she couldn’t seem to help it. Everything he did made her think that was what he was seeing for them in the future but until he told her that for sure, she was afraid to hope for it. Her heart was already hopelessly involved.
She glanced at the door of the bathroom again, her nerves twisting her stomach into knots. Jasmine was staying with a friend from school tonight. They’d dropped her off an hour ago and on the way home Peanut had asked her to sleep in his room. Since that first night he’d kissed her passionately just before bed, leaving her breathless and more than a little turned on, she’d been trying hard to hold him at arm’s length, but it wasn’t working. She was pretty sure that she was ready to take things to the next level, but she didn’t know for sure that she was prepared. Her hands twisted in her nightshirt, tugging it down to her knees as she waited on him to finish his shower.
She was still married to Johnny which bothered her more than she wanted to admit, a fact that going to the doctor today had brought home. The nurse had assumed that Peanut was her husband which had been a little awkward. Thankfully he’d brushed over the information without confirming or denying that she wasn’t his wife. To say she’d been embarrassed was an understatement. How did you tell a stranger that the man you were bringing to your obstetrics appointment wasn’t the baby’s father nor was he your husband?
Yeah, that wasn’t something she wanted to get into.
Her heart jumped in her chest when she heard the shower shut off. Shit, he was almost finished. She really didn’t know what to do with herself. She wanted him to make love to her, but she felt guilty having sex with him while still married to Johnny. Her hands dug into her thighs as she tried hard not to think about it. Her marriage to Johnny wasn’t something she could change. She believed in the vows she’d made all those years ago. If her marriage had been different then she would never consider having sex with Peanut.
Hopefully Peanut would find a way around her having to return to the state in order to divorce Johnny soon. She wasn’t sure how long she could deal with this guilt bombarding her. Marriage had always been a forever thing for her. You made a vow and you kept it. Johnny had made that impossible. That didn’t solve the dilemma she now faced sitting here knowing that she and Peanut were likely going to have sex.
She glanced at the door, her body shifting restlessly as she waited. She wondered what he was doing in there. Her eyes closed and she felt her heart rate pick up. She was breathing so hard she was almost hyperventilating. She needed to calm the hell down or Peanut was going to think she was scared of him.
She didn’t want that, but she was really freaking out. Maybe it was the pressure of not
