The rustling stopped. It was probably just a cat.
I turned back to the gate and came face to face, or rather face to chest, with a tall gangly man. I let out a squeak.
“Easy there, it’s only me.” Kyle’s face smirked down at me. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Oh. Hey, Kyle.” I took a step back, trying to stop my heart from breaking through my rib cage. “I heard something over in the bush and thought I’d investigate.”
“You’ve been doing an awful lot of investigation lately. You know, we rangers usually don’t have this much activity. I hope you don’t get bored without an ongoing murder investigation.”
I knew he was teasing me, but his tone was still the serious stick-up-his-butt tone that made me slightly uncomfortable. “So are you heading out to fish?”
“Yep.” He held up a rod and tackle box.
“Well, I’ll let you get on with it. I’m supposed to meet Ben in the plaza soon.”
I walked back to my truck with him trailing slightly behind me. Of all the rangers, he was the least likely to be my friend. I knew that. But for some stupid reason, I wanted to impress him. He was in charge, after all.
When I got back to the plaza, Ben showed me how to check my inbox that had a grand total of two emails. One from Greg welcoming me to the team in the most grandfatherly way possible. And the other that went to all of the rangers from Ursula, announcing she’d be holding interviews today.
Wait, what?
I read it more carefully. Sure enough, she’d be here today to hold interviews for the full-time position. So much for notice.
“Looks like I’ll have an interview today,” I said to Ben when he returned to the office with more coffee.
“Yep, you and all the other summies. Wait, did you just find out?”
“Uh, well, I’ve been off for the last two days, and you just showed me how to check my work email so...”
“Don’t worry, I’m sure Ursula will understand why you’re in uniform.”
Right. If I had known, I’d have probably added a change of clothes to my bag, complete with a dreaded pair of pantyhose. Ugh, maybe it was better that I hadn’t known. At least now I wouldn’t have to stuff my legs into those awful sausage casings. And she’d probably understand. I mean, I was doing the job I was hired to do.
By noon, Shayla, Brock, Nikki, and I all sat in the main office waiting for our chance to wow the Director. Shayla wore a slimming pair of pinstriped pants and a blouse with a sweater over top. She kept wiping the sweat from her face, and I had the urge to tell her to just remove the sweater, but I didn’t want her to be any more nervous than she already was.
Brock was in a simple white button down and skinny tie while Nikki wore a crisp pencil skirt and jacket combo that made her look like Miss America just became the CEO of Google. My uniform looked frumpy and downright unprofessional compared to them. What did it matter anyway? Surely, they’d choose Nikki for the position.
Shayla went first and then Brock. Nikki and I sat in silence waiting our turns. When Nikki was called up, I said, “Good luck.”
“I don’t need luck. I have this in the bag.” She pulled her suit jacket down and strutted out like she was on a catwalk. Maybe I should just bow out now.
Nikki’s interview seemed to take longer than the other two, and by the time I was called into the banquet hall, the interviewers looked irked that they had to do another interview when naturally they already knew who they were hiring. Or maybe I just thought that’s the way they looked.
Five people stared back at me as I sat in a chair, nervously contemplating whether to cross my legs at the knees or the ankle. After introducing themselves as higher-ups in our department, Ursula began with the questions.
“If you were a bug, what kind of bug would you be?”
A bug? What the hell kind of question was that?
“Uh, well.” I tried not to shift my weight. Bug, bug. What kind of bug? “A moth,” I blurted out.
A moth? Really? I couldn’t even come up with something like a butterfly?
“Why a moth?” Ursula asked in her best fake-nice voice.
Yeah, Rylie, why a moth? Ugh. I was so stupid. “Well, moths are, uh, resourceful, and kind of bland, but they’re attracted to bright lights.”
The panel made notes, looking as confused as I felt. Hopefully, that was just an icebreaker question.
“Okay, second question: Name five uses for a stapler, without staples.”
For real? I could use it to bash myself over the head to get out of this interview. No, that’s probably not what they were looking for.
Think. Think.
“Uh, you could use it for a door stopper to hold the door open. You could use it as a paperweight.” That was only two. I needed three more. What else? Who cared how a stupid stapler could be used without staples?
“You could dismantle it and take the spring out to use in an emergency situation. Maybe it could be a musical instrument, like symbols only . . . clankier.” Clankier is not a word. Get it together. “And last, it could be used as a hat.”
“A hat?” Ursula spit out.
A hat? What the hell?
“Sure, I mean, you could put it on your head, that is, if you wanted to . . .”
Pretty sure Ursula rolled her closed eyes at that one.
“Let’s move on.”
Thank God.
“If we shrunk you to the size of a pencil and put you in a blender, how would you get out?”
Okay, this lady was nuts. Where did she get these questions and how did they possibly relate to being a ranger?
“Well, I’d probably dismantle the blades first just in case you wanted to turn the blender on.” Which naturally, she probably would. “Then I’d shimmy my way up
