“I suppose they don’t.” Sudden solemnness edged her tone.
“Hey, is something wrong?”
Tiff slipped her shirt over her head. “Jason, what are we doing?” The look on her face was more serious than he’d ever seen her.
He was tempted to respond with a joke in his usual tension-diffusing fashion but thought better of it. “I take it you mean more than us getting dressed right now.”
Now there was sadness in her eyes. That was a first. She swallowed hard. “I think it’s time we end it.”
The words struck him like a physical blow to his chest and gut. Today, of all days?
He’d promised himself when the relationship began that he wouldn’t get attached, but obviously that had been an impossible pledge to keep after nine years together. He didn’t love her in the overwhelming infatuation sense he’d witnessed with his sister and her husband, or even between his parents, but he loved her as a close friend. A confidant. Someone he could come home to and be held after a rough day. They may never have formally dated, but they had formed a relationship that was much more than the arrangement for stress-relief sex the way it had begun. Subconsciously, he’d always known that their time together would have an expiration date. Except, he had thought he would have seen the end coming.
“I…” He struggled to find the right words. A major pillar in his support network was being knocked out from under him, and right at a time when he was about to need her the most. “Why?”
She sat down on the bed and placed her hands on her thighs. “It can’t go forward, and we can’t go forward ourselves so long as this is going on.”
There was too much truth in her statement to deny. Still, it was a low blow to end things so suddenly. “I can see where you’re coming from, but why now?”
“There’s a promotion opportunity—a posting at Alkeer Station. I was debating whether or not to take it, but all this new shite with the Rift means things are about to get even more complicated. I think it’s better I accept the reassignment so we can both be unencumbered for whatever comes.”
There it is. He sat down next to her. “Alkeer is a nice base.”
“It is. And people have normal lives there. Families.” She looked at him briefly and then tore her gaze away. “I know that would never be an option for us, but I don’t want to close off that possibility for myself.”
“Tiff, it’s not your—”
“Please, don’t,” she cut in. “I was well aware of the reality when I signed up for this. I know your family likes to pretend that they’re happy to date commoners, but not one of those was actually the case, as it turns out. I promise you, I’m not secretly a dynastic heiress.”
It hurt that she’d reduce their relationship to those terms. He’d been the fiercest defender of the TSS tenet that a person should be measured by their character and accomplishments, not their pedigree. To think that in their time together—the better part of a decade—she considered herself to be lesser than him turned his stomach. “Birthright really doesn’t matter. Especially not for me. I’m not in the succession line.” He tried to take her hand, but she pulled away.
“You’re still a Sietinen. And your grandparents are great people, but no matter what they say, they’re hoping you don’t end up with a salvage hauler rat like me.”
As much as he wanted to argue the point, deep down, Jason wondered if she might be right. He wanted to believe that they would approve so long as he was truly in love. But that was the real issue. They loved each other, but they weren’t in love.
Tiff met his gaze, and his thoughts were echoed in her expression. “I care about you, Jason. And I’ve never once doubted that you care about me. But this,” she waved her hand between them, “was never about having a romantic happily ever after. You’re a good friend—one of my best—and it’s okay that that’s all it is.”
Part of him wanted to fight for her to stay, but that would be selfish. He respected her decision, and her reasoning. He’d be a terrible friend if he offered anything less than his full support. “I want the best for you. If this is what you need to get where you want to go, I won’t argue.”
She finally took his hand. “It’s been on my mind for a while. When I saw the new post open up, I realized it was time. Especially now, with the unknowns ahead.”
“It could be dangerous out there.”
“Potential risks aren’t a reason not to live.”
He took a slow breath and nodded. “Please don’t take my acquiescence as apathy. I’m going to miss you like crazy.”
“Me too.” She kissed him, and he savored it, knowing it might be their last.
“I really hope this isn’t goodbye forever—that we can be friends,” he said.
“Oh, stars, yes! Give up my ‘in’ to the High Dynasties? I’m not a foking idiot.” She gave him a light, playful punch in the shoulder.
“We had a good run.” A painful twinge struck his heart, even as he tried to smile through it. We can say we’ll stay friends, but things will never be the same.
“We did. I don’t know if I would have made it through the Initiate years without you.”
“Oh, hardly! You were in Primus Elite for a reason.”
“Maybe. But it was nice to have a real friend to lean on.” She patted his knee.
He nodded. “That it was. You gave me grounding when I needed it.”
“That’s what friends are for.”
Unfortunately, he’d gotten too used to having Tiff serve that emotional cornerstone role in his life. While he had no shortage of
