I sat down heavily onto the couch. “When the news broke, reporters descended on her home. And I realized that if you’d cared to have her in my life, if she’d come to us when she’d realized she was pregnant, you would’ve bullied her into becoming exactly what you wanted her to be and doing exactly what you wanted her to do, with no will of her own, just like you’ve done to me. You would’ve made her life just like it is now, with reporters everywhere waiting for her to slip up, watching her every move. She wouldn’t have been able to express a damn opinion that wasn’t already approved by you. Just like me.”
Dad spluttered. “You’re being ridiculous and dramatic, acting like a child over this woman—”
I stood up. “This is what my life’s been like, Dad. I’ve hated every second of being your son. Because I’m not my own person. I’m just a clone of you that you are trying to mold into whatever you want me to be.”
“This is for your own good!” Dad bellowed. “I’ve done everything to give you the best in life, to get you elected, and if you want a career in this town, you have to—”
“That’s just the thing,” I said, cutting him off. “I’m not interested in a political career. I’m not interested in getting elected.”
The moment I’d said those words, it was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I heaved a sigh of relief. All these years, I’d been holding that secret back, feeling it grow heavier and heavier until it had begun to feel like I could barely breathe.
Now, I was free.
Dad stared at me. “What!?”
I stood up. “I said, I’m not interested in getting elected. I don’t want a political career. I never have. And you know what? I’m not going to have one. I quit.”
Dad clutched at his chest like he was having a heart attack. “We’ve had a plan—this is our dream—”
“Don’t be a cliché, Dad, please. And don’t play stupid. It’s your plan, not mine. You can’t tell me that you haven’t noticed how I’ve felt all this time. My lack of enthusiasm, my reluctance, my subordination. It’s all over. I’m going to live my life the way I want to now, not the way you’ve planned for me.”
“But—but the White House,” Dad said, in a vain attempt to get me to change my mind.
“The only time I’ll be in the White House is when I take a tour,” I told him firmly.
Dad ogled at me like I’d lost my mind.
Mom stepped in. “Honey, it’s okay.” She smiled at Dad and gestured at herself. “Remember when your father didn’t want you to marry an actress?”
She turned to smile at me. “He’d thought that it was a lowly profession, not respectable. That all I’d ever do was be part of some scandals, get into rehab and drag your grandfather’s reputation through the mud.”
Mom turned back to Dad. “But our marriage turned out wonderfully.”
She took a deep breath. “And I called the girl earlier—Laura. I admit I had some…poor thoughts about her. I judged her harshly and told her what she should have done. I wasn’t thinking about what it had been like for her. I don’t think I’ve thought about anyone but myself for a long time. And she stood up to me admirably. I haven’t been spoken to that way in years and I think I needed it.”
My jaw dropped. Mom had called Laura behind my back and Laura had defended herself? I was damn proud of her. That’s my girl.
Dad still looked stubborn.
“Look at all we’ve already missed out on with our grandchild,” Mom went on. “And think, honey…how much our son has resented us. Would you rather have a political career or a son who loves you? And he wouldn’t be a very good senator if he hated his job now, would he?”
This last part was said teasingly, but I remembered what Della had said on the docks, how important public service was to her. That was the kind of dedication needed for this job, and I simply didn’t have that.
“Dad, it would be unfair to my constituents and all my coworkers if I went into politics. They deserve people who care about them and want to do their jobs well, not someone who’s phoning it in because he wants to impress his father.”
Dad sighed heavily, and now it was his turn to sit down on the couch.
“I really love her, Dad,” I added. “I really loved her back then and I continue to do so now. She was the one thing I wanted in my life and I gave her up. Twice. To try and protect her from the life you’d designed for me. There wasn’t room for her in that life. There wasn’t even any room for me. The real me. I’ve been cursing myself for leaving her this whole time, and I don’t want to end our relationship, but I will if that’s what it takes. If you can’t see that I’m going to forge my own path—including marrying whoever I want— then fuck the scandal.”
Dad looked up at Mom, and then stared down at the floor for a long time. I felt sick. Was I going to lose my relationship with my father? I didn’t want to abandon him. I didn’t want to have to choose. I wanted to be able to forge a real relationship with him, one where I could be myself and finally get to connect with him as a person and not be the vessel for his own plans.
But between my father and Laura, I knew what my choice would be.
Mom threw her hands in the air. “For heaven’s sake, Neal, I want to see my grandchild and I want
