I couldn’t apologize, though. I had nothing to apologize for. And I wanted to keep this memory. Even though it wasn’t mine to hold onto, I was ready to defend it. To steal it away. Camden made me this little bracelet. It was for me. August couldn’t take that away from me.
Something was over now. I felt it. A line had been crossed in August’s world.
As I waited for him to say something, anything, I clutched the bracelet like Nonna clutched her Rosary beads. Such a small, insignificant thing, yet it carried more meaning than I could put into words.
August cleared his throat and kept his gaze on the floor. “When you carefully carve out vanilla moments in an otherwise twenty-four-seven-type of kink lifestyle, you don’t get enough reminders that the partner you treat like a little boy on a daily basis knows you better than you know yourself.” The evident defeat in his posture caused my chest to tighten with worry. “He always knew before I did.”
Knew what? It didn’t feel like the right moment to ask questions.
“I’m supposed to be one step ahead.” He blew out a breath and scrubbed a hand over his face. “In kink, it works. I know him so well. I can anticipate his needs and be a good Daddy for him.”
I sensed a “but” coming.
“As partners, I can’t say the same,” he admitted. “A couple weeks into our relationship, I just found him precious for saying that we were gonna fall in love. Few months later, similar when he said we’d end up spendin’ the rest of our lives together. He’s… He’s incredibly confident and never hesitates to take risks. And how he reads people so well, I’ll never understand.”
I could relate to the last one. It still baffled me how Camden had extracted that much information about me based on the pictures I uploaded on social media.
“Is there something wrong with him being so attuned to your connection?” I asked hesitantly.
Sounded perfectly balanced to me. August was one step ahead in their kink dynamic, and Camden was one step ahead in their vanilla life.
“Not at all.” He shook his head. “I’m just an old, stubborn fool who hasn’t learned to listen properly yet. Imagine it yourself. Some guy twenty-five years younger than you storms in and lets you know what you want in life. For chrissakes, by the time he was born, I was well on my way to becomin’ head chef at a restaurant in Vegas. I’d broken a couple hearts and had my own shattered too. I opened my first restaurant before he started kindergarten.”
I smiled faintly and stuck my hands into the pockets of my jeans. I’d been on the receiving end of this conversation once upon a time, when I’d been with Charles.
August sighed and folded his arms over his chest. He dropped his gaze back to the floor again too. “When Camden and I became more serious, I wasn’t interested in sharing him—or myself, for that matter—with anyone. My playtime days were over, and I feel that way to an extent even today. So whenever he carefully brought it up, or hinted at it, I stowed it away for down the road. He seemed to push for inviting another man to play with us for my sake, and I was happy with the way things were.”
I twisted the bracelet between my fingers in my pocket. “Was?”
He frowned to himself. “I suppose I knew that down the road was comin’ closer and closer.”
And Camden knew too.
“Opening our relationship still feels like a final resort,” he admitted. “Maybe I’m too set in my ways with traditional thinkin’.”
I was certain that was another thing Camden was well aware of, hence handling the pushing by himself.
“Did it ever occur to you that Camden’s happier when you’re happier?” I asked. “I’m not sure finding a second partner is as much about satisfying your needs as it is about completing your dynamic.” That was my impression anyway. Of course, August’s needs were a factor too, but I didn’t think that was all of it. “Without having anything to compare it to, I can only say he’s seemed very happy with our roles this week.”
August nodded slowly, deep in thought. “The whys and hows don’t matter as much anymore, either way. After meeting you, everything’s different.” Then he gestured vaguely at the Christmas wrapping on the island. “Things have changed for Camden too. Callin’ you Daddy is… That’s big for us, Anthony. You mean a great deal to him.”
I clutched the bracelet a little tighter in my pocket and felt the urge to apologize again. I just didn’t know what for. I’m sorry I got under his skin. I’m sorry the three of us have such fucking great chemistry. I wasn’t sorry for shit. I was only mourning the fact that I was going to lose it. The shoes I’d filled this week were a temporary thing.
“It’s mutual,” I replied quietly. “You gotta let me know if you need space, August. You and Camden have barely gotten a moment alone while I’ve been here.”
They’d elaborated a bit the other day on their one and only discussion about me. My first day here. I’d gone to shower in one of the guest rooms, and August had gone upstairs to shower and talk to Camden. Who had pleaded with August to talk less and do more. Let’s just see where this goes. If you’re attracted to him, run with it, Daddy. Just run with it. Go all in. In Camden’s words.
“We do need to talk,” August agreed. “But it’ll have to wait till after the weekend.” He took two short steps until he was right in front of me, and he leaned in and kissed my cheek. “He’s not wrong, you know. I saw the note too.”
I swallowed uneasily and side-eyed him
