Serpent? Ha! Great minds. I like her even more now.
In a classic head versus heart internal battle, the logical part of me is saying to leave this grouchy little firecracker alone and mind my business. But the small yet very persistent romantic in me is screaming to throw her a bone.
Even if she would likely take that bone and shove it right up my ass. The persistent Jaxon prevails.
“Listen, I’m gettin’ the sense that you harbor some kind of misplaced anger towards me.” Or all men in general. ”But I think we got off on the wrong foot.” I wait for a response before I continue. An eye roll, great, we’re making progress. “I’m all too aware of how hard life on the street can be. You have no reason to trust me, but I promise I’m not a psycho killer. And I don’t bite. Unless that’s what you’re into?”
Another eye roll...too soon?
I internally slap my hands to my forehead. Getting off base, asshole.
“What I mean is...I know what it’s like to not have a solid place to lay low. So, if you want, you can come back to my apartment. It has two bedrooms, so you can get a good night’s sleep. Safely. I promise.”
She looks at me as if she’s actually contemplating whether coming home with a stranger is safer than spending the rest of the night alone on this bench.
That’s when I see it- the defiance, the decision.
The face you make when you’ve been screwed over too many times and know you can’t trust anyone, especially someone who seems remotely genuine.
She finally responds. “Uh, no thanks. I’ll take my chances here. Have a good night.”
She turns around and sits, making herself as comfortable as possible, like she’s got it all figured out when we both know she doesn’t.
Hell, neither do I.
I get it, though, because I’ve been on the defense when someone claimed to have all the answers to my problems. And at first, I refused. So I’m not faulting her for wanting her independence, but I do wish she would accept my help.
Deep down, I’m not ready to let her go. There’s something about her that resonates with me. Her eyes, the bench, her being on the beach. There’s something in her that I can’t pinpoint, but I know it’s there.
When I first caught Cameron behind the house, I chalked it up to her being a kindred spirit who basked in the joy of wandering. I see myself in her, sure, but she’s much more guarded than I am. She seems out of place but in her element at the same time.
I want more time with her, which is crazy because I don’t even know her, but I know her eyes. I can see the need for change in them.
I accept defeat. I pick Magnet up and walk away. I reach the ramp to the street and take one more glance back. Although she looks as though she has no clue what comes next, her determination is something I wouldn’t want to tarnish.
Because most people don’t need to escape their reality like she does. Like I did. And I know firsthand that people don’t only wander because they feel lost.
Cameron
“I’m lost. I am one hundred percent fucking lost.”
I huff out a frustrated breath. It’s times like this I wish I would’ve explored local neighborhoods more. If I had, maybe now I wouldn’t be trying to figure out how far I am from the secondhand store I shop in.
I know it wasn’t far from my house, but after falling asleep on the train last night, I ended up on the other side of Brooklyn. I can’t get Jaxon out of my head, though, and a part of me almost wanted to take him up on his offer.
I felt it the moment I touched him. Fireworks went off in my belly, nothing like the sirens that usually go off in my head. I’d call them butterflies, but that’s way too gentle of an explanation for what happened inside me when I involuntarily jumped into his arms after coming face to face with his cat.
Which I’m still convinced is a raccoon.
After he left, I thought about what he said and decided he was right; sleeping on a bench wasn’t the greatest idea. So I jumped on the train to head closer to my neighborhood. I intended to check out Randy’s Secondhand Stand for any old, reliable laptops I could purchase. But nope, it couldn’t go smoothly.
I ended up falling asleep a few minutes into the train ride, and if there’s one thing anyone living in Brooklyn knows, it’s that the MTA system is a cluster fuck in the middle of the night.
One wrong stop, and you end up on the other side of Brooklyn.
Like I am right now.
Six
Cameron
It’s been one week since I left my dad and one full week that I haven’t been able to get Jaxon out of my head. I’ve tried everything…reading, listening to music- even keeping my mind busy by cleaning up the garbage around the train lot at night.
But he’s always there, lingering at the edge of my thoughts. I’ve never experienced any type of “crush” before; it was nearly impossible. I built my walls up so high you’d likely catch a nosebleed if you tried to climb them. I’ve never had a boyfriend, and I’ve never even kissed anyone before.
I did experiment with porn, though. So I’ve explored my sexuality the only way I could safely do so: by myself.
Milla tried to do the whole girl talk thing with me when we were in high school. She would tell me what fooling around with a guy felt like, but I always tuned her out. I couldn’t imagine a man touching me with tenderness or making me feel anything other than uneasy. So these sudden feelings creeping up
