me to feel a strong connection with her.

And although I did take a small step today, I’m still nowhere near convinced I have anything to offer that little girl.

Forty-three

Cameron

Emersyn has been with her mom for the past two days, and Jaxon heard from a customer at his job that a large field in New Jersey is hosting a drive-up movie theater for couples.

It’s only about forty-five minutes away, and he insisted we do something fun together. Jaxon seems to be feeling guilty for our predicament lately, and I have no idea why. He’s a dad first. I’d never harbor any resentment that his attention’s split in two.

Come to think of it, I’m sure watching your girlfriend struggle to interact with your child is also a bit disheartening.

Lately, I feel like I’m an additional child for Jaxon to take care of. He has so much going on already with Emersyn, the last thing he needs is to have to tip-toe around my emotions.

Emersyn is getting dropped off tomorrow, the day before New Year’s Eve, and she’ll be here for two days.

Gelissa had a bogus reason why she couldn’t have Emersyn for the holiday and is picking her up the next morning. Jaxon wanted to spend tonight doing something different, and I like the idea of watching movies and not having to deal with strangers rubbing against me in a movie theater.

“It’s going to be like twenty-five degrees tonight.” I pull up my sheer black tights and adjust my off-the-shoulder sweater dress over them. It’s light grey and falls mid-thigh. Jaxon’s behind me, getting himself dressed in a black hoodie, charcoal jeans, and of course, his grey beanie.

He stares at himself in the mirror, removing his beanie. “Believe it or not, baby, the car has a heater. It’s not the bike.” He adjusts the hair on his head, then re-positions his hat.

I’m still not used to riding in a car with him since I’ve grown to love the motorcycle so much. But, given the cold weather now, the car is probably the smarter option.

“At first you couldn’t get me on it, now you can’t get me off it,” I smirk as I run my hands down the oversized knit dress to smooth it out. Jaxon bought me a grey beanie that’s almost identical to his, except mine has a fluffy pom-pom on top of it. I flatten my hair in the mirror and adjust my own hat.

“Ready to go, Nyx? The movie starts at seven, so I don’t want to be late.”

I grab my last minute things and head to the door to put on my boots. “Yeah, just need to get my boots on.” I feel Magnet’s little body rubbing up against my leg as I walk to the door. I bend down to pet his furry head. “It’s way too cold out there for you, serpent.” He rubs his face against my hand as I pet him. I feel guilty leaving him, so I tiptoe into the kitchen to discreetly put some peanut butter on a plate for him.

Jaxon was right. I think I’m a cat person.

Or maybe, just a Magnet person.

The drive to New Jersey is taking much longer than it should. There’s bumper to bumper traffic on I-95, and we’ve been at a standstill for ten minutes now. I look over to Jaxon as he tries to see what the holdup is from outside the driver’s side window.

He maneuvers himself back in his seat, blowing out his breath into his hands to warm them up. He closes the window as I reach over to turn up the music a bit. ”All The Same” by Sick Puppies plays on the radio, and I sing along quietly as Jaxon scratches at the scruff around his jaw.

“I hope we make this movie.” He taps on the steering wheel anxiously.

“So, if we don’t, we do something else.” I grab a piece of Winterfresh gum from my bag.

He responds quickly, his voice clipped, “I know, but still. I don’t understand what the fuck is going on.”

A minute later, the cars begin moving, and we pass a stalled car on the shoulder of the road with State Troopers pulled over giving assistance. Once we pass them, the road opens up, and the cars spread out ahead of us.

“Why do people do that?! They have to stop and look, can’t just mind their business and fucking drive!”

He bangs on the steering wheel in frustration, causing me to jump from his sudden outburst.

Jaxon’s never like this. It feels strange seeing him so irate. Another pang of guilt courses through me because I know he’s stressed out, and I know a large portion of it’s because of me, even though he’d never admit it.

I wish there was a way I could ease his worries without having to enhance mine.

I reach over and take his hand, squeezing it between my own. He looks at me, eyes softening. I smile as he turns my hand over and brings my wrist to his lips, kissing it softly.

By now, we’re ten minutes away from the field and over twenty minutes late for the movie.

When we approach the small ticket booth box at the entrance, a stocky guy in a black hat tells us the movie New Year’s Eve is playing but they’re packed, so he can’t guarantee a spot for us to see it clearly.

Jaxon reassures him it’s okay, and we get our tickets and move forward. As we follow the signs, the field looks more and more like an opening in the woods.

Finally, a huge screen starts to come into view, and the field is packed with cars parked in rows. I can see some of the screen through the trees, but the open field and last row of cars is still a hundred feet ahead of us. There’s nowhere else to go, so we stay hidden here and watch whatever we can see.

Even with my glasses on, I’m barely able to see the movie

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