“That’s not the same as this.” Garrick tried to pull away, but Devlin wouldn’t let him go. “That was just me on the line, not,” his voice broke, “you.”
Devlin tunneled his fingers through the thick mess of Garrick’s hair and pushed away the fall hiding his eyes. “Look past the fear of losing me, and Grace, and the kids that is ruling you right now, and answer me this: would you really still be here if you truly sensed the new identity Joe had created for you had been compromised?”
Garrick’s chest heaved and banded tight. “But--”
Devlin clamped his hand over Garrick’s mouth. “But, nothing.” He immediately soothed away the force of his hold with a brush of his fingers over Garrick’s lips. “Tell me again how long after you went into the witness protection program it took for that assassin to find you?”
“Less than two weeks.”
“And how long have you been in Redemption?”
“Five weeks today.”
With a nod, Devlin nudged Garrick with a squeeze around his waist. “So what does that tell you?”
Devlin’s line of questioning clicked into place for Garrick. “That Joe picked the right person to trust with creating this new Garrick Langley identity, and that’s why right now I’m still safe. Or, Joe found the mole and the threat to undercover and witness protected agents is gone, which also means I’m safe now.” Garrick spoke the logical words that made sense, even though it frightened him to death to believe it.
“So why aren’t you trusting your ability to assess risk?” Devlin grabbed Garrick’s forearms and tugged him to the edge of the seat. “Tell me why you don’t trust your gut anymore.”
“Because my gut told me someone was watching us.” Garrick jolted up and rushed to the window, needing to check the perimeter. “I was right, but something held me back, and look what happened.”
“That’s because you didn’t have full information.” Devlin ran to Garrick and spun him around. “You didn’t know that Grace was hiding too.” He jammed his finger into the windowpane. “You sensed that something wasn’t right, but on some deeper level--that gut of yours--you knew it wasn’t a hired killer contracted to find you. That’s why you stayed.”
A hitch grabbed Garrick’s heart and choked his voice. “No. I stayed because of you, beautiful. And because of them.”
“No.” Devlin shook his head. “You stayed because something inside you knew it was safe for you here. You wouldn’t have risked yourself, and us, if you really thought someone was gunning for you.”
“Even if you’re right about that, what about the newspaper now?” Horrible scenarios spun in Garrick’s head, as they had been doing since seeing Randy breaking into Grace’s home. “Wyn said there’s a chance someone might come poking into Grace’s life when they learn Randy’s identity. What if they somehow get interested in me?”
“Baby,” sympathy filled that one word from Devlin, “I think you’re over-thinking this because you know you have something to hide. No one else does.” Devlin took Garrick’s hand, tugged him away from the window, and pushed him down onto the couch. “But if one day down the line, that happens, or your gut starts talking to you again, and you know you’ve been made and it’s time to run, all you have to do is say the word and I will run with you.”
“What if I can’t?” Garrick shot back to his feet and took Devlin’s face in his hands, his fingers digging in hard. “What if I feel it too late and someone dies because of me?”
Devlin matched Garrick’s hold and pulled him in until their foreheads touched. “You won’t, Garrick. I believe in you. I trust in your training and I have faith in that extra sense you have that cannot be taught. Do you think Grace will feel any different than I do? I can tell you right now, just from being with you guys, she won’t. She and those kids love you just as much as you love them. Last night, when you and Grace agreed together not to run in your own directions, that was tantamount to making a commitment to being a family. When she trusted me to help her that made me a part of it too.”
He brushed kisses against the slashes of Garrick’s cheeks, and his eyes shone bright. “We’re in this together now. All of us. Even if the two ‘dads’,” Devlin made a funny face that actually drew a rough chuckle out of Garrick, “share a bed in the room above the garage.” He pushed his hands into Garrick’s hair and brought him in for a scraping of their mouths. His lips clung to Garrick’s, and Garrick whimpered at the intimacy swirling around them. “A family, Garrick.” Devlin put the words--a vow--right into Garrick’s being. “A real one again. For you. Can you promise me you’ll stay and believe in yourself the way we already believe in you?”
Garrick cracked inside, opening another gap, wider even than the one Devlin had chiseled in him last night. Unconditional love and acceptance rushed into him through the break, filling in all the tiny chinks and fissures, making Garrick a whole person again.
He clung to Devlin, raw and exposed, everywhere. “I promise.” Garrick whispered it again, needing Devlin to know he was in for good.
Devlin held Garrick’s head back with a fistful of hair. “Good choice.” He winked as he said it, and Garrick fell for this sweet, clever man all over again.
“I love you.” Garrick attacked Devlin, raining kisses all over his perfect face. “I love everything about you.”
Devlin pulled a frown as redness rushed to his cheeks. “You haven’t been around me when the Red Sox or the Patriots lose.”
Something between a laugh and a sob escaped Garrick. “I’ll still love you anyway.” He suddenly became very aware of their bodies rubbing against one another, and desperation took over his voice. “Make love to me.” He ripped at Devlin’s shirt and then dove for his belt with one hand and
