“Can I get on the ladder? I won’t fall,” Josie added, a determined look in her sparkling eyes.
“We’ll see,” Mary said.
“That means no.” A pout curved Josie’s lips.
“Let’s go.” Trevor pushed through the crowd and beckoned them.
Josie’s hand in hers, Mary followed Gracie and Trevor to the edge of the train. She was just about to board when a hand on her shoulder stopped her.
She turned to see Lou, mouth tight, eyes shadowed, his hat lying at a crooked angle on his head.
“Can we talk?” he asked.
“Now?”
The train whistled, signaling a warning. Mary looked up. Gracie gave her a thumbs-up and put her hand on Josie’s shoulder, who was looking everywhere and hopping on one foot. Biting her lip, Mary moved away from the train, Lou right behind her.
He had filled her every waking moment. His smile. His kiss. The way she could talk to him, or even yell at him, and he didn’t hurt for it. He didn’t reject her.
Until she’d offered love.
“What do you need?” she asked now, more curt than necessary.
He studied her, gaze serious. “I need to know we’re still friends.”
Friends? She wanted to slap him at that moment. It was a shocking urge, so surprising that she clasped her fingers to keep from acting on it. Was it his fault that he still loved his wife? Could she fault a man for such loyalty? No, and yet her heart was splintering within her chest.
The lady means nothing to me.
He’d meant it more than she’d realized.
“Mary, I’m serious. I value your friendship and the way you’ve served our makeshift family. I know that lately I’ve been bossy. Demanding. But I did it for your own good.” He doffed his hat and placed it against his chest. “I know I was wrong, though. That you’re an adult capable of taking care of not only herself, but a little girl. She’s something, isn’t she?” A wistful look crossed his face, so at odds with the jut of his strong jawline and determined eyes.
Mary swallowed. “She is. And you and I are friends, always.” Much as it hurt to say, she could never deny him that.
“You’ve always had such loyalty. I envy it. My own family refused to speak to me for years because of my work with the bureau, and it’s tough for me to forgive them. But I look at how you treat your ma, I see the love of God in your actions....” He trailed off before saying, “The way you live encourages me to live better.”
She shifted, uncomfortable with his praise. With the entire situation, really. If he only knew. She looked at him and saw how he gazed at her, his eyes like sapphires in the sun. She wanted to remember this moment forever. Wanted to memorize the lines of his face, to touch them and carve them into the tips of her fingers, to hold on to always.
“I’m not perfect,” she blurted. “Langdon said my mother led him to me. All she cared about was finding my father. If not for her, I would have never been kidnapped. I might be married, with a family. Emotionally whole.” Her voice caught and she couldn’t continue.
Her throat felt tight and raw. She waited for Lou’s shock, but it didn’t come. Instead, he winced. The minuscule movement stunned her. It was a physical blow. She staggered back, the pulse of her blood surging and then slowing, her lungs constricting until she thought she might never breathe again.
And yet she did. A deep, oxygen-filled inhalation borne of necessity.
“You knew,” she whispered on her exhale.
“I knew.” His eyes met hers. Apologetic.
Her hand shot out and connected with his cheek. He didn’t move, not even when the mark from her hand suffused an angry red. She swallowed hard, her whole body aflame, her palm smarting. He’d known...for how long? How many secrets did he hold? How much more did he keep from her? She’d been very wrong to trust him.
“Secrets do not make a friendship,” she said coldly. His face was blank, as if unaffected by her anger. So be it. She was done with this man, with everything. Never again would she allow herself to dream of him, to relive his recent kisses and his tender words over the years.
Shaking, she whirled and forced her trembling knees to march to the train, just as it let out another ear-splitting whistle.
Let Lou seek his revenge. Let him ignore the God who cared for him. Let him reject the woman who would have given him her all.
She was done with him and everything he represented.
Her eyes burned as she stepped onto the train and searched the seats for a familiar face. She had Josie, and she was going home.
She would have a family, with or without Lou Riley.
The heart was the biggest betrayer of all.
Mary discovered that unfortunate tidbit when she couldn’t stop dreaming about Lou during the journey home. She’d see him stretching out his hand, asking for help, but her pride kept her heart far from him.
No.
Her broken feelings were the culprit, not pride, for even seeing him in her dreams caused her to wake with dried tears upon her cheek.
The bright spot in her life was Josie. Between her and Gracie’s excited chatter, there was little time during the days’ travel to pine over Lou. Only at night did he steal her sleep.
Finally, weary and dirty, they arrived at the ranch. Josie pounded up the steps, yelling for James. Gracie bounced around in excitement before grabbing Trevor for a long kiss. He embraced her, the quiet smile on his face testament to his love for his young bride.
God had changed him so deeply.... Could He do the same for Mary? Give her peace with how things had ended with Lou?
Feeling unsettled and scattered, Mary stepped out of the neighbor’s wagon. James had been unable to meet their train due to ranch duties, and so Mr. Horn had come to fetch them.
“Don’t forget the potluck next
