“Fi, we talked about this. It’s our home. I want it to be our home, okay?”
She nodded. “Okay, yeah. I think vodka was a bad idea; it put me in a bad mood.”
I smiled and raised my eyebrows but didn’t say anything. We headed home in silence, Fiona thinking about whatever was rolling around in her brain, and me silent because I didn’t even know what to say. What did you say to your wife, who didn’t even want to give your marriage a shot because she was afraid she was going to lose you in the end? I never meant for her to feel like I abandoned her when I got drafted into the NHL. I knew we weren’t as close as we used to be, but part of that had been because her ex hated me and never wanted me around.
Upon our return to the condo, she got ready for bed while I cracked a beer in the kitchen. She sauntered back into the kitchen in shorts and a tank top that did nothing to hide her figure and grabbed another glass of water.
“I think I drank too much; I’m still a little drunk,” she mused.
I raised one eyebrow in response. “You want to go to bed?”
She yawned. “Yeah. I kind of have the spins.”
I abandoned my beer and led her into the bedroom. “Let’s go to bed.”
She climbed into bed while I got undressed. I slipped into the bed beside her, and I smiled when she crawled over to rest her head on my chest.
“Baby?” she whispered.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For getting too drunk tonight and picking a fight.”
I tilted her chin up to look at me, and it crushed me to see the downcast look etched across her face. “I’m sorry if you felt abandoned when my career took me away from you.” I lifted my left hand up for her to see. “You see this?”
“Your wedding ring?”
“It means I’m not going anywhere. Okay?”
“Promise?”
“Promise, sweetheart.”
“I’m sorry you always have to take care of me.”
I cupped her face and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “I like taking care of you. I’m always gonna do that, okay?”
She nodded and curled up against me again. I stroked her hair while we cuddled in our bed, loving the feeling of this woman at my side.
I should have told her then that I loved her. It would have assuaged the insecurities that were bubbling to the surface for her. I didn’t know she felt that way when I left for the NHL, and I had a feeling that being left at the altar had brought back those feelings. I had to do everything in my power to prove to this woman that I wasn’t gonna be like him. That I was here to stay and I was gonna fight for her.
“Fiona,” I whispered, but when I looked down at her, she was already asleep in my arms.
I needed to tell her how I felt, but I wasn’t sure if I was ready yet. I wasn’t sure if either of us were ready for that. Deep down, I was scared that if I told her, she would ask for a divorce again because I was afraid she didn’t feel the same way. I couldn’t bear it if I lost my best friend.
Chapter Nineteen
FIONA
I was sexually frustrated. Riley had been gone playing hockey for an entire week on the road. It was the longest we had been apart since we got married a few short weeks ago. It wasn’t until he was gone that I realized we hadn’t had sex since Vegas. I knew I was in more trouble than before because my whole body ached for him. I was not good about letting a man know when I wanted him, but it was clear to me that he was leaving everything in my court.
In Vegas, we had been so in-tuned to each other’s bodies. It felt like even though we were living together, there was a wall in between us. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been reading a lot of smutty romance books while he was gone. Or that I didn’t dial the pink telephone a lot thinking about his hands on me. Or his mouth. Or his co—
“FIONA!” Katie yelled at me and threw her straw wrapper at me.
I blushed at the thoughts in my head and turned to Katie, who sat on the couch beside me. I had holed myself up in here all week, working on outlining new stories while my editor worked on notes for my third novel. It had gotten so bad that Katie texted Riley to ask him to make me respond to her texts.
“Sorry, what?” I asked.
She rolled her eyes at me. “Girl! What are you thinking about?”
“Um…”
She laughed. “Oh my God! The sex must be real good if you’re daydreaming about it. Isn’t Riley supposed to come home tonight?”
I sighed. “We haven’t had sex since Vegas.”
She sat up and looked at me in shock. “Seriously? Why?”
I threw my hands up in the air. “I don’t know!”
“Have you asked?”
I blanched. “No.”
“Fi! Sometimes guys don’t get subtlety. He’s probably worried you think he wants sex all the time. You have to talk to him.”
I shrugged and put my hands in my hair with a sigh. “I don’t know how!”
She patted my knee. “In all the years you dated my brother, I’ve never seen you like this before. If you two want this thing to work, you really need to work at it and talk to each other. You need to communicate your needs.”
I stared at her, impressed by her advice.
She shrugged. “Brock and I were in therapy for a long time.”
“Katie, I had no idea.”
“We didn’t work, but I see the smile on your face whenever Riley texts you, and I can see how much you miss him.”
I bit my lip. “Is it that obvious?”
She smiled at me.
