I won’t be able to stay conscious much longer.
Then the tears brimming in Iris’ eyes fall and she drops her arm. “You met him?” She asks quietly.
“Yeah,” Max says. “He taught me how to cook. None of my mom’s other boyfriends ever paid much attention to me. He did.”
Iris’ grip tightens on her knife. Her knuckles whiten. I widen my stance, if only to keep upright for a little bit longer. If she attacks again, I’m not sure I’ll be able to fight her off, even with the help of Zeph’s shell. Even so, I’ll have to try to make a final stand.
Then, slowly, Iris sheaths her weapon. “Joel was always kind. Much more so than I’ve ever been.” She heaves a heavy breath. “But maybe I can honor his memory by trying to be a little more like him.”
From her pocket, she pulls out her cell and types something out. It dings and my own phone vibrates with the alert. Again, hope springs to life inside of me as Iris looks up again and gives us a sharp nod.
“I’ve officially called off the bounty on Max.” She flicks a tear from one of her cheeks with the tip of a finger. “Maybe one day, I’ll be able to find Aline.”
“I’ll try to help,” I say, words slurring, knees shaking. “Maybe with Max’s help we’ll have more success.”
“I would appreciate that. In the meantime, maybe,” she peeks at Max “... maybe you could tell me a bit about the end of his life?”
“I can definitely do that.” He winces. “After I heal up a bit.”
“Of course,” Iris says. “Let’s ...”
Darkness closes over my head, wiping out the end of her sentence along with my consciousness.
21.
BLUE LIGHT WARMS THE velvety black surrounding me. It shines through my eyelids, comforting like the intense heat at the center of phoenix fire. A small smile settles on my lips as I relax into it, willing to accept this end, willing to let go of my long fight now that Max is safe.
It would have been nice to see him happy and whole and free from that weight he’s carried for so long, nice to have spent a little more time with him to see what might happen. But if my death meant he could live, then that dream was worth giving up.
Time stretches like evening shadows, all full of peace and calm I’m painfully unfamiliar with. Seconds, minutes, hours of rest pass in silence. If this is all there is, I’m content to rest here. No more fire. No more dying.
Then a soft voice fills my quiet cocoon. “Not many would have given up so much for someone they’d known for such a short amount of time.”
I slide open my eyes to see the phoenix I’d met before when I’d reached the end in Shreveport. He smiles at me from across the glowing blue expanse. My sluggish thoughts easily gain energy, coalescing into something logical.
“He was innocent,” I say. “He deserved a chance to live.”
“And you didn’t?” The man asks.
I consider a moment, then say, “I chose to give my life, his was going to be taken from him.”
The brilliance of his wings intensifies along with that smile. “Such a sacrifice deserves a reward.”
Laughter fills my whole spirit. “I kind of doubt I deserve one of those. I’m sure you know what I did to the witch who cursed me. Shouldn’t I pay for that with my life?”
“Have you not paid for it with many deaths?”
I wipe my face, only now aware of the tears streaming down my cheeks. “I guess that depends on who you ask.”
The man hovers closer to me, placing both hands gently on my shoulders, flooding me with his warmth. “Would you like to go back to your life? To be restored? To see your friends again?”
“Restored?” I ask, afraid to hope.
“To your natural phoenix cycle.”
I cover my mouth to soften a sob. It’s too miraculous to be true. There has to be some kind of catch, a caveat. With a little push I’ll find it under the shiny promise. Someone like me doesn’t deserve a second chance, even if I did die countless deaths.
The man’s smile saddens as his eyes widen a fraction. “This is no trick, Faith. No subterfuge. My word is what it is.”
“What happens if I say no?” I ask in a shaking voice. “Where will I go?”
“Rest, young phoenix,” the man says. “Though I can’t reveal all the secrets of the afterlife, you will no longer confront pain or hardship or death. So, as I said before, choose wisely.”
Again, I sniff, turning his offer over in my head. Do I want to leave this comforting place? Do I want to confront the consequences of all the bridges I burned? To confront Yaritza? To face the suffering, exhaustion, lack of justice that characterizes life both in the fae and human realms?
Do I want to see Max again? And Hank? And Sam?
Even if I’ve lost my place in the guild, even if I never reconcile with my family, I have people to live for, community I can still be part of. And I’m not quite ready to leave them just now. Not if I have another chance.
Drawing in a slow breath, I nod. “Yes. I’d like to go back.”
“Well chosen,” the man says. “Go in peace.”
Gently, he presses his fingers to my forehead. Warmth spreads across my body, phoenix song swells in my mind, and the blue light overtakes my vision. When it all fades, a dull ache replaces the weightless comfort of that dark space, but strong arms cradle my body
