“—I’m losing my CMO at thesame time.”
“Yes. Anyway, she’ll berunning the university hospital there in Bucaramanga and I’m goingwith her. There’s a land reclamation project near-by which I’m sureneeds all of the engineering volunteers it can get. And in anyspare time I have, I plan to write my memoirs.”
“Really?”
“We’ve certainly had ourshare of interesting…adventureson the Lovelace. I thought someone shouldwrite them down.”
“I have to admit – thatall sounds pretty good.”
“But not attractive toyou?”
“I’m not an engineer – ora writer.”
“Come now – thoseare not the onlyoptions. If you gave it a chance, you’d find plenty to occupy yourtime Earth-side. Since the quarters assigned to Jacoway have mainlybeen used to store his spare uniforms, I’m much mistaken if youwon’t have some grandchildren before long.” Matt nodded inacknowledgment of that truth, as Lindstrom continued, “In themeantime, you could spend more time with yourgirlfriend—”
With a decisive shake ofhis head, Ricci protested against that title. “Ah, no. Bastiédoesn’t like labels.”
“She’s nothere.”
“I’m not crazy about themeither.”
“All right then, you couldspend more time with your steady sex partner.”
Matt crossed his armswhile exhaling in exasperation. “I am so going to miss these little chatsof ours, Commander.”
As unperturbed as ever,Lindstrom responded blithely, “As will I, Captain.”
Ricci dismissed him andLindstrom rose from his chair. Before he left, Matt couldn’t resistasking, “By the way, Nils – in this memoir of yours? Do you intendto include the part about how you initially mistook my daughter fora spurned ex-lover of mine?”
Lindstrom seemedmomentarily speechless then said, in a quietly abashed manner, “Oh,you eventually figured that out, did you?”
“Yes, I’m not completelydense.”
“No, of course not.” Herecovered his composure quickly, stating drily, “But, just for therecord – I had assumed youwere the spurned one.”
“Of course, you did.” Ricci maintainedhis annoyed demeanor for no more than a moment before breaking intoa self-deprecating chuckle.
“I do like to flattermyself that you won’t have nearly as much fun with Ramsey as yourfirst officer.”
“I won’t get nearly asmuch sass, that’s for sure.”
“Those things are notunrelated.” Lindstrom proceeded towards the door, tossing back,“Good day, Captain.”
***
That night Ricci andDecker were leaving Lovelace’sgym after a hard-fought game of full-contactbasketball with some other crew members. Both were slightly subduedas their team had suffered a rare loss. They said good-night to anebullient Kennedy, who’d been leading the other team, and headedfor their respective quarters.
As they walked down theship’s passageway together, trailed by Kayatennae, Ricci said, “Youwere a little off your game tonight, weren’t you?”
“Me?” Decker laughed.“With all due respect, Cap, I’m not the one who made a sloppyturnover in the last minute.”
“You got me there.” Heshrugged, acknowledging his error. “Could be that the Old Man isactually getting old.”
“I hope not. I’m notplanning to be old in twenty years.”
His mind on that morning’sconversation with Lindstrom, Ricci retorted, “You’d better not be.You’ll still be raising your kids at that age – won’tyou?”
“I guess so,” was herstrangely glum response.
Since Naiche was usuallyenthusiastic about her future plans for children, Ricci wasprompted to ask, “Why do you say that? Is anythingwrong?”
She seemed to be studyingthe dull-gray deck as she answered, “No.”
“Are you sure?”
“No.”
“You wanta talk aboutit?”
“No.”
Though that had been hermost emphatic answer, Matt had learned that the less Naiche wantedto talk about something, usually the more she needed to. “Soundslike maybe you should.” She didn’t respond, so he urged, “Let mebuy you a drink.”
When Ricci started headingtowards his quarters, Decker pointed the other way, objecting, “Thelounge is still open.”
“I know – but let’s dothis somewhere more…private.”
“I still don’t likegrappa.”
“I am aware.” Matt tookher by the shoulders and gently steered her towards his quarters,insisting, “I have whiskey. Come on.”
A few minutes later Deckerwas nestled into the loveseat in his sitting area, with Kay at herfeet; Ricci handed her a generous pour of whiskey, while gettinghimself a grappa. He settled opposite her and leaned forward. “Tellme what’s going on. Daughter to father.”
Naiche took a swallow ofwhiskey before confirming, “We’re dropping ranks?”
“That’s why we’rehere.” Ricci waved ahand at his quarters.
“Okay.” While scratchingthe back of her neck she said, “You see, the other night Tal and Isorta accidently started talking about having kids together.” Mattwanted to ask what that meant but figured it was best to let Naichetalk. He sipped his drink and nodded, encouraging her to continue.“And he’s all for it – having kids, I mean. Not rearing them inChiricahua territory, though.”
“Where does he want toraise them?”
With an exaggerated eyeroll, she scoffed, “In the Centauri settlements! If you can believeit. Looks like I might have to do the parent thing alone, afterall.” Decker directed a premature glare at Ricci. “And donot tell me that thesettlements are more than just our former war ground.”
“I’d never do that. Butthere’s got to be a third option. Couldn’t you and Tal find somesort of compro—”
“You think I should giveup my dream?” Naiche thumped her glass on the arm of the loveseat,punctuating her objection.
“No! It’s not about givingup….” Ricci took a moment to check his rising emotions. He took adeep breath and more calmly advised, “What I’m saying is –be very sure ofwhat your dream really is. Naiche, don’t be so narrowlyfocused on just one future for yourself that you…that you’re blindto an even better one in the offing.”
She lifted her chin andstared into his eyes. “Like you were.”
“Yeah….” Matt swallowedbefore finishing, “Like I was.”
“Pop, it’s not the samething. Not at all.”
Although he was certainit was almostexactly the same thing, Ricci knew that arguing that particularpoint with her was futile. “Just promise me you’ll think about it.Look at it from a couple of different angles beforedeciding.”
As she sat silent, no signof flexibility forthcoming, Matt couldn’t help but wonder if hermulish expression mirrored his own when Naomi told him she waskeeping and raising their baby – with or without him. Later, whenhe bade his daughter good-night, Ricci understood for the firsttime, that as hard as it was to have to live with your ownmistakes, watching your child make the same one would be even moreheart-breaking.
Chapter 3
Just BeforeRevelation
“The dark night of the soul comes just beforerevelation.” Joseph Campbell, A Joseph Campbell Companion
