She makes a face. “No big plans,” she says. “I’m still playing at Mack’s on the weekends. Between that and my painting, I’m making it okay.”
“I know you’re making it, Claire,” I say. “I want you to do more than just make it.”
“I know you do, big brother,” she says smiling. “It’s another reason I love you. But I’m okay. Seriously. I’ll find my path. It just takes some of us a little longer.”
I return the smile, considering her words. I’d been handed my path at the ripe old age of 21. I’d had no choice in the matter after our parents died. Someone needed to step up and run the Jester, take care of the family. As the oldest, it fell to me. I sometimes wonder what I might have done if given the choice, but I think it’s likely I’d have ended up right where I am in the end.
“You could always come work at the Jester,” I say, at least half joking.
Claire wrinkles her nose. “No way,” she says. “I don’t mind helping out when you need me, but I don’t see myself happy working the front desk forever. No offense, Finn.”
I laugh. “None taken,” I say. “I just want you to be happy. Whatever that looks like for you.”
“Thank you,” she says. “You’re a good brother.”
“Obviously.”
We finish our lunch. I pay the bill, as usual. Then Claire drives me back to the Jester. I think about her words as she drives. I’ve never let myself imagine acting on whatever it is I feel for Hannah. Hell, I’ve never let myself really delve into whatever it is I feel for her. Because it can’t happen. I just need to apologize to her for my shitty behavior and let things go back to normal between us. The annoying wedding guest will be gone in a couple of days and we can put all this behind us. I ignore Wyatt’s comment from yesterday replaying in my head. You didn't think you'd be the only one to notice that fact, did you? Sooner or later she's going to find someone who does more than just notice. He's going to tell her. And there won't be a damned thing you can do about it.
I know he’s right. Eventually Hannah will find someone who can be what she needs. I should want that for her. I know I should. I want her to be happy, right? So why does the idea of her with someone else make me so angry?
When I get back to the Jester, I steel myself and go directly to Hannah’s office. I’m going to apologize to her and get things back on track between us. I knock on her office door and she calls out right away.
“Come in.”
I open the door slowly and poke just my head inside. Shooting her my best apology smile, I say, “It’s me. Are you sure you don’t want to change your mind?”
Hannah folds her arms across her chest and her expression turns icy.
“Did you need something?”
I sigh. “I came to apologize. If you’ll let me.”
She narrows her eyes at me before nodding. “Suit yourself.”
I’m not surprised she’s going to make this difficult. I don’t blame her.
I enter the office and close the door for privacy. As soon as I do, I’m struck by how intimate her small office space is with just the two of us here. The rest of the world feels miles away. And Hannah is still shooting daggers at me with her eyes. Right. Apology time. I sit in one of the chairs opposite her desk and lean forward, elbows on my knees. Hannah is still sitting there with her arms crossed tightly, her posture rigid. She gives me an expectant look as if to say, “Get on with it.”
I don’t have to fake my sincerity when I speak. “Hannah, I’m sorry. Truly. What I said was hurtful and completely out of line.”
“Yes, it was.” Her posture relaxes slightly.
“I shouldn’t have gotten involved at all,” I say. “While relationships with guests may be frowned upon, there’s no specific rule against it as long as both parties maintain appropriateness. Who you choose to be involved with is none of my business.”
Hannah relaxes a bit, leaning her elbows on the desk. “You’re right. It is none of your business who I choose to associate with.” She sighs. “But it was unprofessional of me. I should have shut down his advances immediately. I don’t know why I didn’t. For that, I apologize.”
“You don’t need to,” I say. “Hannah, you’re single, young and beautiful. A man would have to be blind not to try and make a move. I can’t really blame him.” She looks at me, a slight blush on her cheeks. “I just think you should be picky. Make sure the guy is worthy of you. That he realizes how amazing you are.” I break off, wondering why I’m saying all these things. My words are too close to the truth, too close to my own complicated feelings.
She smiles. “Thank you. Lately, I’ve started thinking that maybe it’s time for me to get back out there. Try dating again.”
Though I know her words make perfect sense, I still feel an irrational anger at the idea of her dating. It’s the same way I felt when I saw her talking to that jackass earlier. I tamp down the emotion and smile at her.
“You should.” I don’t know how I say the words without choking on them. “You deserve to be happy.”
She nods, meeting my gaze for a long moment. She chews on her lower lip, drawing my attention. She can’t know how badly I want to pull her across the desk and into my arms. I wonder what it would be like to kiss her, to
