I can think of a few other choice words to call her piece of shit ex, but I keep quiet and let her speak.
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want it to be a big thing,” Hannah says. “Truth be told, I didn’t want it to be happening at all. So, I lied to you and I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry. I know we said honesty, no matter what. I broke that promise and I feel horrible about it. But I’m telling you now because I don’t want there to be secrets between us. I hope you can forgive me.”
I’m struggling to comprehend everything she just said. The words had spilled out of her so fast that my brain is having trouble keeping up.
Hannah goes on, speaking slower this time. “In the interest of honesty, I have to tell you something else. Finn, I don’t know where you are with all this. This thing between you and me, I mean. But I’m all in. I love you. I think I have for a long time. I was just stubborn or too scared to analyze it. I’m not telling you this to pressure you or because I expect you to say it back. I just needed you to know. I love you. I’m in love with you.” She pauses to take a breath before going on.
“Last night I sat across from a man I used to think I loved. A man that I made vows to. Someone who promised to love me forever, once upon a time. Back when forever was something I still believed in. And all I could think was, ‘I miss Finn. I wish he was here.’”
Her eyes shine with unshed tears. She blinks and smiles widely. “I just needed you to know,” she says a second time. She gives a little shrug. “That’s all.”
The distance between us is suddenly too much for me to bear. I cross the room in two quick strides and pull her into my arms. My mouth takes hers in a rough kiss. Hannah’s intensity matches mine as it always does. The kiss gentles as it goes on, settling into something that’s somehow more intense in its deliberateness. My mind is reeling with all the things I want to say but can’t. I don’t have the words to tell her; not in this moment. But I can show her.
“I’m sorry I lied to you,” she whispers as I mouth trails down her neck. “I hated lying to you.”
“Shh,” I say. “It’s not important.”
“Wait,” she says, leaning back so she can look at me. “You’re not mad?”
“I was,” I say, deciding honesty is best. “When I saw the texts on your laptop Friday night.” I see the moment she realizes what I’m saying.
“I was mad and hurt and confused,” I admit. “I should have just asked you about it. I wasn’t snooping. I need you to know that. I wasn’t searching through your computer. I promise. It just popped up on the screen.”
Hannah shakes her head. “No, I know,” she says. “I’m sorry, Finn. I hate that I put you through that. I should have talked to you right away.”
“Hannah, stop. It doesn’t matter now.”
She looks at me for a long moment as if trying to read my expression. What she sees must satisfy her because she gives me a brilliant smile and presses her lips to mine.
We take our time undressing. The normal frenzy of our lovemaking isn’t there this time. There’s still an urgency and a hunger that I suspect will never go away. When we come together this time though, it’s as if we both understand that there’s no need to rush. We can take our time because we have all the time in the world together. I’m patient as I worship her body, touching, tasting, taking her. When I feel Hannah’s tight channel clench me tightly as she comes, I keep my eyes on hers. Though she doesn’t say anything, I swear I can almost hear her telling me she loves me.
Chapter Thirty-two
Finn
The afternoon sunlight streams in through the windows, casting soft shadows on the bed. Hannah is draped across me, her head tucked under my chin. I think there’s no other place I’d rather be than right here, holding this woman in my arms. When I think about the way she and Liam came into my life, I know how lucky I am to have them. Thinking of Liam makes me wonder who’s keeping him while Hannah is here with me.
“Where’s Liam?” I ask, my hand tracing lazy circles down Hannah’s bare shoulder with one finger. I feel her entire body stiffen and she sits up looking around wildly. I’d laugh if she didn’t seem so freaked out.
“Shit! What time is it?”
I squint at the clock on the bedside table. “It’s almost 4. Why?”
Hannah scrambles from the bed, heedless of her nudity and starts searching for her clothes. “Liam’s at a friend’s house for a birthday party. I’m supposed to pick him up at 4. Shit, shit, shit.”
I watch her for a few seconds, amused by her scrambling around and a little turned on by the sight of her naked ass as she bends over to scoop up her bra. Her hair is a riot of honey curls around her shoulders. She’s beautiful. I remember all over again that she told me she loves me, and I smile.
“Damn, you’re sexy when you’re frazzled,” I
