I’m not ashamed to say that there also might be a little Jewish blood flowing in my veins. My swarthy looks have to come from somewhere, right? As cute as the idea might sound, it’s not very likely that my great-great-grandmother succumbed to the charms of an Italian migrant laborer, working at the railway tracks in early nineteenth-century Germany. You all know how people tend to romanticize their family backgrounds. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry likes to think of himself as the heir to some blue-blooded name. No, I’m serious. I’m convinced that there must be some Semitic influence. Just regular Jewish blood, coursing through my body. Even though my eyes are blue. That’s something that means a lot to me. I don’t need to resort to colored contact lenses like many Lemons are doing it now. Some of these jokers even dye their hair blond. I guess they hope that it will further their careers. But it’s not easy to get the Ghetto out of your system.
One more thing you need to know about me is, that I’m no fan of organized religion. Opium for the masses, that’s what it is to me. And, God knows, I’m not alone with this view. Plus, I also prefer to be in charge of my own drug supply. I work as a Pusher for the LKA and my job is to adjust the “balance of power” in the neighborhood. This involves evening the scales between the different Godfathers by making sure that the bosses will continue their war against each other: the Tsar, the Imam, the Babo, and the Emperor. If one of them shows signs of getting too much ahead in the game, he needs to be cut down a notch to prevent violence from spilling over Ghetto limits. Human trash is supposed to fight among themselves, right? As the LKA doesn’t like to get their hands dirty they use drug dealers like us. Off the record, of course. When one of the Godfathers gains too much power, it’s our job to give the competition a leg-up with the help of well-placed donations. As you can probably guess pushers aren’t the most popular of people. When we supply his competitors with merchandise, the Imam is sure to hear about it. Still, this system works remarkably well. In the realm of organized crime bosses tend to think like politicians. They, too, form new alliances every day. And an offer of friendship that comes in the guise of a suitcase full of free drugs often has a healing effect.
My name is Hauke, by the way. The nuns in the Catholic orphanage who raised me were great fans of the novel The Dykemaster by Theodor Storm. Maybe you’ve heard of the story about the mad dike warden, who’s my namesake. And my background? Does it really make a difference? They plucked me from a baby flap at Urban Hospital, that’s what I always claim, at least. Dropped off anonymously. Family unknown. Not an ounce of blue blood, this much can be assumed. And surely no Baby Moses. If you could see me now, odds are that you wouldn’t take me for the toughest guy in the ’hood. Rather the opposite. I’m clean shaven and neat, wear a black suit, and even carry a briefcase at all times to look respectable. Stuffed with dope, of course. It’s also equipped with a hidden compartment with an Uzi in it for self-defense, an absolute must-have. I also pack a Glock 17 in a shoulder holster. One of the best handguns I know. Reliable and precise. Nineteen rounds. My special trick is to always load it up with a rubber round first. Underneath, there is a regular 9mm cartridge, followed by a dum-dum bullet that will burst open upon impact, virtually shredding the opponent to bits. I call this my three steps of escalation. Step one: the warning. Step two: the chastisement. Step three? Game over, player one. Not a beautiful thing to behold, I can tell you. I’m not a gun-toting weapons fanatic, I swear. And not one of these army types either who give their rifles names. I also don’t like using my fists. I never once had my nose broken. It’s something to be proud of, I tell you.
Things just don’t seem to improve. Not in the Ghetto. Once you’ve reached your early forties, you start seeing things clearer while abandoning your illusions. Just the other day I was held up by a little kid. Maybe eight years old, I guess. The tyke pointed a knife at my crotch and demanded my money. When I explained that I only had dope, he happily toddled off with five units of coke. What can I tell you? It can get a little trying to adhere to one’s principles out here. Human values and such. At least I’ve managed to remain one of the few Pushers who don’t sample their own merchandise. Okay, I pop psycho meds. But only those which need a prescription. So don’t get any wrong ideas. Plus, I went off these pills a while ago, because I want to be myself again. The name of the stuff, I’m using? None of your business, I think. We don’t know each other that well yet. But, hey, things can always change. Follow me or leave me alone. It’s the same to me. But there’s one thing I promise you: I won’t lie. This is something you
